Men who just wear women's clothes for whatever personal reasons, who are identified as crossdressers, transvestites, etc., are not transgender women. They're men who wear women's clothes. It's not an identified medical or psyhological condition anymore, it's just what some men like to do.
These men should not be recognized in the same definition as the whole array of women who identify as transitioning women, androgynous women, gender-queer or variant women, or however they identify as. Women are women by their own gender identity.
Men who just wear women's clothes identify as men, live as men, aren't required to get psychological or psychiatric therapy for gender identity diagnosis, aren't required to be under medical care for their transition, don't go through the process to change their legal documents to be recognized as women.
Men who just wear women's clothes are just men who like to wear women's clothes, nothing more. And they certainly are not transgender women! Let's drop the pretense for the bullshit line they want to believe they're something they're not.
They don't want to be or live as women, they just like the clothes. They should not be included in the definition of transgender women, should not be protected under laws for transgender women, and should not be treated by society as women.
The transgender community is doing themselves and all transgender women a disservice by including them under the umbrella as "gender presentation" because they are exactly what conservatives use as examples of "men in dresses" to discriminate against all transgender women.
Transgender women have it hard enough to get through their life, they don't need to be lumped into an identification with crossdresser, transvetites, drag queens, female impersonators, etal. Transgender women need to be separate from them for their own identity as women.
The best thing the transgender community can do is jettison them from the community. This has happened in some cities and states where they're treated separate, as legally recognized women, and achieved these laws and rights they would not have gotten otherwise.
I don't see men who just like to wear women's clothes as women in any manner. Whatever their "feminine side" they want to express is irrelevant, it doesn't make them women by any measure when they take the clothes off and they are physically men, identify as men, and live as men.
Clothes don't make men women. The person's gender identity does.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Friday, August 21, 2015
Really
Caitlyn Jenner failed to stop while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway and her Cadillac Escalade hit a Lexus pushing it into on coming traffic hitting a Hummer, killing the woman driving the Lexus, and hitting a Toyota Prius. She’s never admitted fault for her actions, said she prayed for the dead woman’s family, and now faces possible vehicular manslauter charges.
Yet she was awarded an Arthur Ashe ESPY award for courage and character for coming out as a transgender woman, even though millions of women have come out, and many transitioned, before her to face hate, discrimination, joblessness, poverty, violence and even death. What courage and character has she shown outside of what of her wealth and privilege has provided her to be insulated from realtiy the rest of us live?
The transgender community has embraced her despite her statements saying transgender women should get jobs and not depend on the government to help them in live and their transition. This from a woman who earned her wealth as Bruce Jenner, Olympic champion, and member of the Kardashian family with the reality TV show.
Caitlyn has admitted to being a staunch republican, flaunting her wealth and privilege on her own TV show, all the while the transgender community thinks she deserves respect for coming out with the help of her money, her family, Vanity Fair magazine and a television network, while she questions ordinary transgender women needing help to survive, live and hopefully transition.
And that's worth an ESPY award. Really?
Yet she was awarded an Arthur Ashe ESPY award for courage and character for coming out as a transgender woman, even though millions of women have come out, and many transitioned, before her to face hate, discrimination, joblessness, poverty, violence and even death. What courage and character has she shown outside of what of her wealth and privilege has provided her to be insulated from realtiy the rest of us live?
The transgender community has embraced her despite her statements saying transgender women should get jobs and not depend on the government to help them in live and their transition. This from a woman who earned her wealth as Bruce Jenner, Olympic champion, and member of the Kardashian family with the reality TV show.
Caitlyn has admitted to being a staunch republican, flaunting her wealth and privilege on her own TV show, all the while the transgender community thinks she deserves respect for coming out with the help of her money, her family, Vanity Fair magazine and a television network, while she questions ordinary transgender women needing help to survive, live and hopefully transition.
And that's worth an ESPY award. Really?
Monday, July 20, 2015
So It Goes
So it goes. While many in the transgender community promote gender diversity and the whole spectrum of gender expression and presentation, there are many who, while understanding and accepting the idea of the non-binary, like the binary.
There's nothing wrong with liking and living in the gender binary if it's makes you comforable with yourself and your life. That's your right, and it's not the right of the advocates of the non-binary to criticize, or worse, atack or demonize you.
There's nothing wrong with not identifying as a transgender woman or man and not wanting to be reconized, and especially not labelled, as a transgender woman or man. It's your right to self-identify as non-binary people advocate for themselves.
There's nothing wrong for both sides of the argument for gender identity and the use of the word transgender to exist without declaring war against the other. It's the right of everyone to choose who they are and how they want to be identified.
There's nothing wrong if both sides agree to just let everyone be themselves. And hopefully, to do it respectfully and without malice toward others. But that's not what is these days in the fight for inclusion where inclusion is everyone whether or not they want to be included, and more so want to be excluded.
So it goes these days. The whole transgender community at war within itself. You can't decide for yourself anymore. Others get to decide for you, decide who you are and how you should be called. And argue you can't disagree with them.
And the transgender community wonders why so many (transgender) people don't like them anymore, and don't participate in the community. They created the atmosphere and environment and encourage the fight, forgetting they're losing most of their own in the process.
So it goes. The many not caring, if even watching, and the few yelling at each other about who's right or wrong.
There's nothing wrong with liking and living in the gender binary if it's makes you comforable with yourself and your life. That's your right, and it's not the right of the advocates of the non-binary to criticize, or worse, atack or demonize you.
There's nothing wrong with not identifying as a transgender woman or man and not wanting to be reconized, and especially not labelled, as a transgender woman or man. It's your right to self-identify as non-binary people advocate for themselves.
There's nothing wrong for both sides of the argument for gender identity and the use of the word transgender to exist without declaring war against the other. It's the right of everyone to choose who they are and how they want to be identified.
There's nothing wrong if both sides agree to just let everyone be themselves. And hopefully, to do it respectfully and without malice toward others. But that's not what is these days in the fight for inclusion where inclusion is everyone whether or not they want to be included, and more so want to be excluded.
So it goes these days. The whole transgender community at war within itself. You can't decide for yourself anymore. Others get to decide for you, decide who you are and how you should be called. And argue you can't disagree with them.
And the transgender community wonders why so many (transgender) people don't like them anymore, and don't participate in the community. They created the atmosphere and environment and encourage the fight, forgetting they're losing most of their own in the process.
So it goes. The many not caring, if even watching, and the few yelling at each other about who's right or wrong.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Really
Caitlyn Jenner did what every woman who has transitioned has done before her, is doing now and will do in the future, but very, very few of those women had the family support, money and resources to transition what then Bruce Jenner decided to do, become themself, Caitlyn in this case.
And the vast majority of those women, then, now and to be, have had to deal with the whole array of life's issues with a transition, from coming out to family and friends, and then to come out their employer and co-workers if they had a job, and then become public.
Many of those women faced the whole array of adversity, problems, even hate and violence, and often losing their job or their careers. They had to find the medical resources to go through the transition, facing humiliation and often discrimination, just to get into see doctors or therapists.
Many of those women had to find ways to transition with the money they had, and often with almost no money, to have to resort to work they find dehumanizing. Many had to extend their transition for years for the lack of funds.
Many of those women didn't have the ability to pass in public without looks, stares, or ridicule. Many women didn't have the funds and access to medical resources to get surgery to become passable, and those that do were strapped with significant debt just to get by in life without public humiliation or embarrassment.
And through all that very few got recognition for their courage. Yet Caitlyn gets an ESPY award for courage? Really for what? Doing what hundreds of thousands of woman have done before her, including some professional or amateur athletes.
I don't see she deserves anything more than what many women have already done, but then it only goes to show you what lengths celebrities will go to for publicity and fame. If anything Caitlyn shows, it's not courage, but selfishness for publicity.
And for that ESPN gave her the Arthur Ashe award for courage.
And the vast majority of those women, then, now and to be, have had to deal with the whole array of life's issues with a transition, from coming out to family and friends, and then to come out their employer and co-workers if they had a job, and then become public.
Many of those women faced the whole array of adversity, problems, even hate and violence, and often losing their job or their careers. They had to find the medical resources to go through the transition, facing humiliation and often discrimination, just to get into see doctors or therapists.
Many of those women had to find ways to transition with the money they had, and often with almost no money, to have to resort to work they find dehumanizing. Many had to extend their transition for years for the lack of funds.
Many of those women didn't have the ability to pass in public without looks, stares, or ridicule. Many women didn't have the funds and access to medical resources to get surgery to become passable, and those that do were strapped with significant debt just to get by in life without public humiliation or embarrassment.
And through all that very few got recognition for their courage. Yet Caitlyn gets an ESPY award for courage? Really for what? Doing what hundreds of thousands of woman have done before her, including some professional or amateur athletes.
I don't see she deserves anything more than what many women have already done, but then it only goes to show you what lengths celebrities will go to for publicity and fame. If anything Caitlyn shows, it's not courage, but selfishness for publicity.
And for that ESPN gave her the Arthur Ashe award for courage.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Elinor Burkett
I read Elinor Burkett's article, "What's makes a woman", in the New York Times opinion section of Sunday's (June 7, 2015) newspaper. It was more confusing than anything as she seemed to say what doesn't make a woman than what does.
While I agree with her assessment of the "mainstream" view of transgender activists and celebrities, using Caitlyn Jenner's recent photo shoot and interview (which I disliked for it's obvious self aggrandizement by Ms. Jenner than anything) she makes the mistake to assume that view is shared by the many women who have transitioned or are transitioning.
And in reality, nothing could be farther from the truth, which shows either she knows very little about the transgender people, except from the mainstream media and community, or didn't readily show her knowledge of it beyond the mainstream media and community.
In short, she made false assumptions to make a case, and that's the issue I have beside the other issue where she makes women a very complex construct of physicality, mental characteristics, experience and cultural/society events, she puts men in a large box, including male to female (MTF) transgender people.
Many MTF people don't transition because they're men wanting to be or live as women, and most recognize and acknowledge they can't have what female women have with their body. They transition because of an innate sense of who they are and put themselves into the limits society gives them.
She makes the case that you can't tell a male from a female brain. Not entirely true as neurobiologist have researched and published there are some general physical difference but insufficient to distinguish with any great accuracy.
What she doesn't addressed is that neurobiologist have researched and published that MTF people have brains more similar to female brains than males brains, something she either failed to mentioned or doesn't know. It's not the body that matters, it's the individual's brain that does.
The view of binary gender norms are changing as younger generations reject the male-female binary to be who they want over the whole spectrum, and while some older people also live in that mode, most assume a role they're comfortable with that also fits into what society expects and allows them to live.
As she noted, the majority of transgender people, especially children and young adults, face discrimination and often violence, more than women face in many aspects of society, especially in work and acceptance in public. This is something she neglects to acknowledge.
In addition, many women don't accept the standards of what society expects as women, but often live by it to get through life and work with the least hassles and problems. This is no different that MTF people who transition into a similar role, but women don't have the obviousness of transitioning in public.
She also assumes that all men have male privilege by some gift of society forgetting many men don't have it and don't live with it, and some don't want it. Some of the last find themselves recognizing more as women than men, not in the way Caitlyn expressed but simply as themselves by their personality, character, temperament and identity.
In the end, she has a point about the transgender community as expressed in the mainstream media and many transgender activists and celebrities, but she mistakenly assumes it respresents the whole of the community and all transgender people.
On that note she should talk to more women who have transitioned or are transitioning outside the mainstream media. She will find acceptance of her view about women because they're equally women, just with a different histories and experiences.
While I agree with her assessment of the "mainstream" view of transgender activists and celebrities, using Caitlyn Jenner's recent photo shoot and interview (which I disliked for it's obvious self aggrandizement by Ms. Jenner than anything) she makes the mistake to assume that view is shared by the many women who have transitioned or are transitioning.
And in reality, nothing could be farther from the truth, which shows either she knows very little about the transgender people, except from the mainstream media and community, or didn't readily show her knowledge of it beyond the mainstream media and community.
In short, she made false assumptions to make a case, and that's the issue I have beside the other issue where she makes women a very complex construct of physicality, mental characteristics, experience and cultural/society events, she puts men in a large box, including male to female (MTF) transgender people.
Many MTF people don't transition because they're men wanting to be or live as women, and most recognize and acknowledge they can't have what female women have with their body. They transition because of an innate sense of who they are and put themselves into the limits society gives them.
She makes the case that you can't tell a male from a female brain. Not entirely true as neurobiologist have researched and published there are some general physical difference but insufficient to distinguish with any great accuracy.
What she doesn't addressed is that neurobiologist have researched and published that MTF people have brains more similar to female brains than males brains, something she either failed to mentioned or doesn't know. It's not the body that matters, it's the individual's brain that does.
The view of binary gender norms are changing as younger generations reject the male-female binary to be who they want over the whole spectrum, and while some older people also live in that mode, most assume a role they're comfortable with that also fits into what society expects and allows them to live.
As she noted, the majority of transgender people, especially children and young adults, face discrimination and often violence, more than women face in many aspects of society, especially in work and acceptance in public. This is something she neglects to acknowledge.
In addition, many women don't accept the standards of what society expects as women, but often live by it to get through life and work with the least hassles and problems. This is no different that MTF people who transition into a similar role, but women don't have the obviousness of transitioning in public.
She also assumes that all men have male privilege by some gift of society forgetting many men don't have it and don't live with it, and some don't want it. Some of the last find themselves recognizing more as women than men, not in the way Caitlyn expressed but simply as themselves by their personality, character, temperament and identity.
In the end, she has a point about the transgender community as expressed in the mainstream media and many transgender activists and celebrities, but she mistakenly assumes it respresents the whole of the community and all transgender people.
On that note she should talk to more women who have transitioned or are transitioning outside the mainstream media. She will find acceptance of her view about women because they're equally women, just with a different histories and experiences.
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Talk is cheap
The truth is most tranwomen of privilege talk a lot about the conditions and circumstances of transwomen in general and those less privileged or less economically off than them, but in the end, they don't really care enough about them.
They give speeches, even get awards for their experience and lives, but every night go home to their privileged lifestyle and enjoy a good life while all the rest of the transwomen in this country struggle to live, fight to exist, and try to get through each day.
There's a big divide in the transcommunity, very much like the rest of the country, between the haves and have nots, the 99% of transpeople just getting through life finding ways to get through their transition and get on with their life, and the 1% who talk about it and nothing else.
Talk is cheap when it comes to transpeople, especially transwomen, notwithstanding their race, ethnicity or heritage. Talk is what the transwomen of privilege find easy, because they don't live the reality of the rest once they've attained privilege, if they even had to attain because it was given to them.
Talk is cheap. As we've seen some come out to sell books, some for the spotlight, some to be celebrities, and some because it's the goal to be at the forefront of an issue without investing themselves in it beyond talking about it.
Talk is cheap. Just hear all the transwomen talk about it, but ask them what have they done other than talk, other than be in the spotlight, write books, give speeches, meet with the media, give interviews, etc., in other words, just talk.
Talk is cheap to the transwomen trying to have a life, but talk is what transwomen of privilege use to make a living on all the lives of the rest of the transwomen. Words pay the bills of the 1% but does nothing for the 99%.
They give speeches, even get awards for their experience and lives, but every night go home to their privileged lifestyle and enjoy a good life while all the rest of the transwomen in this country struggle to live, fight to exist, and try to get through each day.
There's a big divide in the transcommunity, very much like the rest of the country, between the haves and have nots, the 99% of transpeople just getting through life finding ways to get through their transition and get on with their life, and the 1% who talk about it and nothing else.
Talk is cheap when it comes to transpeople, especially transwomen, notwithstanding their race, ethnicity or heritage. Talk is what the transwomen of privilege find easy, because they don't live the reality of the rest once they've attained privilege, if they even had to attain because it was given to them.
Talk is cheap. As we've seen some come out to sell books, some for the spotlight, some to be celebrities, and some because it's the goal to be at the forefront of an issue without investing themselves in it beyond talking about it.
Talk is cheap. Just hear all the transwomen talk about it, but ask them what have they done other than talk, other than be in the spotlight, write books, give speeches, meet with the media, give interviews, etc., in other words, just talk.
Talk is cheap to the transwomen trying to have a life, but talk is what transwomen of privilege use to make a living on all the lives of the rest of the transwomen. Words pay the bills of the 1% but does nothing for the 99%.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
The trick
The trick to getting through life in public as a (trans)woman is simple. Either be beautiful where you turn heads in admiration or you don't turn heads being invisible, meaning just any other woman. Anything else turns heads in curiousity or worse, and more often than not the latter.
To the former, consider your luck and work, and in some cases surgery, to pass and be nice to the latter who may pass some of the time but not most if not all the time. Their life is hard enough transitioning, adding subtle public opinion only makes it harder.
To the former, consider your luck and work, and in some cases surgery, to pass and be nice to the latter who may pass some of the time but not most if not all the time. Their life is hard enough transitioning, adding subtle public opinion only makes it harder.
Monday, January 5, 2015
A Rule
From the news of the recent suicide of Leelah Alcorn in Ohio (long story, look it up), there has been a lot of opinion said and written about her and suicide, and many people resurrecting the advice to other how to know and then engage them if you think someone is contemplating and even planning suicide.
Well, here's a rule you should always remember! If you are not a professional therapist who has experience with suicide or a suicide counselor:
Do not think you know someone is suicidial and do not engage them in talking about suicide.
You don't know squat when it comes to suicide so don't make matters worse, and you can and often will, if you engage them to talk about suicide, and force them deeper into their own world. You can and likely will push them the wrong way.
The solution is to find someone who does know and talk to them, and then let them decide what to do, and if necessary, engage the person. And don't suddenly start acting and talking differently around them or to them. They're not stupid, and they're likley to react to you the wrong way.
And do not report them to anyone with legal authority. The last thing they want or need is legal intervention where they lose their rights and face legal hurdles. You could be wrong, and they last thing you want is to make a lifelong enemy.
In short, help them by not helping them, but just be a friend, no different than before, just be there whenever they want to be with you. No more. Just be there.
Friday, January 2, 2015
A Lot Said
A lot has been said about the suicide of Leelah Alcorn, and from what I've read, which isn't much because I get tired reading the same arguments repeated ad naseum by people thinking they're smart but really just espousing their opinion.
I can't add much to it except to say she's not around anymore, less by her choice as by her life, and it's clear the circumstances of young transgender people totally depends on one's support group, starting with their parents and family, and then everyone else.
We can all think we have some experience with people in similar situations, as I might losing a nephew at 19 to suicide with deeply religious parents, but I can't really, as all of us can't say much because we don't really know beyond what the news and information which has been released.
I can only say there are common signs of people not just thinking about suicide, but on the edge of commiting suicide, because of what I've read over the years and what I've experienced in my life, being there twice and didn't for reasons I don't fully know even now.
What I do know is what she wrote, "Fix society.", is really at the heart of the issue, because transgender children and youths need understanding and love above all else to be themselves, and failing that, it's very easy to slowly implode into oneself and pretend to everyone else.
It's one of the common signs of children and youths for a variety of circumstances, but it's hard to discern them from their personality, character and temperament which is dynamic all the time. It's why those close to them don't see it, but most don't even care to look for it.
And this I know throughout my childhood being mentally abandoned by my parents and left to live within my own world. And what clues they saw only lead to more denial and ignorance on their part, and more isolation on mine.
The criticism against blaming Leelah's parents is somewhat, but not entirely, unfair because parents reacting badly and worse to transgender children and youths runs the gamut of families as do the parents of those accepting and supporting of their transgender children and youths.
What we must think about is that Leelah's life, like those of all children and youths is bound by their own sense of themselves and their world, a significantly smaller and limited version adults live in under the psychological framework of bounded rationality.
Except their world isn't all that rational (many adults' world aren't either) but one thing overrides all other thoughts about her life and death and all children and youths almost all adults don't want to accept let alone try to understand.
Children know themselves with respect to their gender and gender identity better than everything else about themselves. This is established in the research about being a transgender person that it is discovered between 3-6 years and pretty much fixed by age 10-12.
It's a given in them they know and express, and it's only the adults who don't get it, or worse react to dismiss it and worse argue and even fight against it and their own children. Leelah was no different and there lies the heart of the issue.
A child and young adult didn't have the chance to live as she knew who and what she was. Who failed is left to those who live with her death, if they actually do rethink their own views or just decide denial, whether in faith or something else are the answers.
For everyone else, all we have is what could have been, which we don't even know that, so it's best to keep our thoughts and feelings in silence. We don't need more voices about it or the issue. We need resources for them no matter their circumstance and situation.
We need resources where transgender children and more so youth can get help to live when they can be free of the physical and mental chains of their youth imposed by their families and loved ones. Leelah seemed to see it but didn't find it.
I can't add much to it except to say she's not around anymore, less by her choice as by her life, and it's clear the circumstances of young transgender people totally depends on one's support group, starting with their parents and family, and then everyone else.
We can all think we have some experience with people in similar situations, as I might losing a nephew at 19 to suicide with deeply religious parents, but I can't really, as all of us can't say much because we don't really know beyond what the news and information which has been released.
I can only say there are common signs of people not just thinking about suicide, but on the edge of commiting suicide, because of what I've read over the years and what I've experienced in my life, being there twice and didn't for reasons I don't fully know even now.
What I do know is what she wrote, "Fix society.", is really at the heart of the issue, because transgender children and youths need understanding and love above all else to be themselves, and failing that, it's very easy to slowly implode into oneself and pretend to everyone else.
It's one of the common signs of children and youths for a variety of circumstances, but it's hard to discern them from their personality, character and temperament which is dynamic all the time. It's why those close to them don't see it, but most don't even care to look for it.
And this I know throughout my childhood being mentally abandoned by my parents and left to live within my own world. And what clues they saw only lead to more denial and ignorance on their part, and more isolation on mine.
The criticism against blaming Leelah's parents is somewhat, but not entirely, unfair because parents reacting badly and worse to transgender children and youths runs the gamut of families as do the parents of those accepting and supporting of their transgender children and youths.
What we must think about is that Leelah's life, like those of all children and youths is bound by their own sense of themselves and their world, a significantly smaller and limited version adults live in under the psychological framework of bounded rationality.
Except their world isn't all that rational (many adults' world aren't either) but one thing overrides all other thoughts about her life and death and all children and youths almost all adults don't want to accept let alone try to understand.
Children know themselves with respect to their gender and gender identity better than everything else about themselves. This is established in the research about being a transgender person that it is discovered between 3-6 years and pretty much fixed by age 10-12.
It's a given in them they know and express, and it's only the adults who don't get it, or worse react to dismiss it and worse argue and even fight against it and their own children. Leelah was no different and there lies the heart of the issue.
A child and young adult didn't have the chance to live as she knew who and what she was. Who failed is left to those who live with her death, if they actually do rethink their own views or just decide denial, whether in faith or something else are the answers.
For everyone else, all we have is what could have been, which we don't even know that, so it's best to keep our thoughts and feelings in silence. We don't need more voices about it or the issue. We need resources for them no matter their circumstance and situation.
We need resources where transgender children and more so youth can get help to live when they can be free of the physical and mental chains of their youth imposed by their families and loved ones. Leelah seemed to see it but didn't find it.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
If
If you look at Websites of women who have transitioned over a year or more and they show you a timeline of the effects they have experienced on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) where there are significant changes in their face, it's a good bet they neglect to say one thing they had in their transition.
And that is facial surgery. Hormone replacement therapy will change the body body significantly, most notably to add (not rearrange the existing) fat where the individual gains 10-20 lbs and often more 25-50 lbs to the chest, abdomen, hips and legs, meaning all over the body.
It's the result of the effect of the change in metabolism to add fat, turn muscle into fat and develop both hips and breasts. And it will change the fat on the face. But it won't change the underlying bone and structure of the face.
And this is where you see photos of their face during their transition on HRT where it's obvious their facial features, eg. hairline, eyebrows, nose, eyes, cheeks, chin, neck, throat, are clearly different. That's not HRT, that's almost always surgery, and sometimes good makeup.
Some will admit or talk about their facial surgery, but most won't implying it's all HRT. Sorry, HRT doesn't and won't make the changes you often see in the face where it's the underlying structure of the face.
So don't believe you can achieve the same as them for yourself, unless of course, you have the checkbook they have. Cheer what they've accomplished, but take how they did it with a measure of question if it's real and true, or not the whole story about their transition.
Because in the end with transition and HRT, its' the old adage, everyone's mileage varys.
And that is facial surgery. Hormone replacement therapy will change the body body significantly, most notably to add (not rearrange the existing) fat where the individual gains 10-20 lbs and often more 25-50 lbs to the chest, abdomen, hips and legs, meaning all over the body.
It's the result of the effect of the change in metabolism to add fat, turn muscle into fat and develop both hips and breasts. And it will change the fat on the face. But it won't change the underlying bone and structure of the face.
And this is where you see photos of their face during their transition on HRT where it's obvious their facial features, eg. hairline, eyebrows, nose, eyes, cheeks, chin, neck, throat, are clearly different. That's not HRT, that's almost always surgery, and sometimes good makeup.
Some will admit or talk about their facial surgery, but most won't implying it's all HRT. Sorry, HRT doesn't and won't make the changes you often see in the face where it's the underlying structure of the face.
So don't believe you can achieve the same as them for yourself, unless of course, you have the checkbook they have. Cheer what they've accomplished, but take how they did it with a measure of question if it's real and true, or not the whole story about their transition.
Because in the end with transition and HRT, its' the old adage, everyone's mileage varys.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Huffington Post
Why does the Huffington Post Live always have two men talking about issue involving transgender women? Neither one of them are transgender and obviously not women, so why in the hell should we listen to their opinion?
This has to be the worst thing Huffington Post can to do to insult women, especially transgender women, and it has to be the dumbest thing two men can do is to talk like they know all about the story, the issue and the people.
Get a clue Huffington Post, drop men talking about women and drop cisgendermen talking about transgender people, especially transgender women.
This has to be the worst thing Huffington Post can to do to insult women, especially transgender women, and it has to be the dumbest thing two men can do is to talk like they know all about the story, the issue and the people.
Get a clue Huffington Post, drop men talking about women and drop cisgendermen talking about transgender people, especially transgender women.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
What
What people don't understand, and where the transcommunity needs to improve the understanding about transpeople, is that a person doesn't change their gender, they change their body to match their gender. It's not about changing their genetic sex, that's given at birth as is their gender.
It's about being comfortable with their body where they can live as the person they know they are when they first realized it as a child. The transcommunity needs to get the idea through to the idiots who keep confusing the issue for political purposes.
It's about being comfortable with their body where they can live as the person they know they are when they first realized it as a child. The transcommunity needs to get the idea through to the idiots who keep confusing the issue for political purposes.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Not All
Not all (trans)women who transition are feminine in the conventional sense of the word, but they still want to be women, as there are butch women and dykes there are differently feminine (trans)women. It doesn't mean they're men or have male personalities, it just they're not what the transcommunity defines as women, but it is what society accepts as women.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Manning
It seems the Bradley/Chelsea Manning issue doesn't seem to go away as the military has stated they're considering transferring Manning to a civilian prison so the he/she can get the medical care for his/her transition since the military is prohibited from such care.
But that's only half the problem and maybe something he/she may not want to ask to the military to do. Consider Manning has been sentenced to 35 years eligible for parole in 7 years. If Manning chose to stay in Leavenworth (military) prison, he will be released and then discharged in 7 years, after which he/she could pursue his/her transition.
If he accepts a transfer, the military could just as easily sustain the full prison sentence and Manning would be there the full 35 years, without the possibility of parole since Manning would be out of sight and mind of the military, but he/she could pursue some of her transition while in prison.
I won't argue about what Manning should do, but I will argue we shouldn't forget what he was convicted for while in a military uniform, which is something that seems to be lost on the transgender community, as they seem to think Manning's transition is more important than the crimes he/she committed.
And I disagree that not allowing someone to transition is cruel and unusual punishment as Manning won't die from not transitioning, although some transgender people have committed suicide over not being able to transition, there is no evidence Manning is such a person.
That said, does Manning deserves therapy and hormones? Probably, but that violates military regulations which anyone diagnosed with Gender Identity Condition is mentally ill and can't serve in the military. Hence the thought of the discharge and transfer for treatment.
And that's the conundrum with Manning. They can't discharge him (official status) until all legal avenues have been exhausted to transfer him, and they can't treat him. So he has the choice, maybe, to withdraw any appeal, get discharged and transferred in hopes of treatment but risk a longer sentence.
Or accept the reality and get through the 7 years, get paroled, discharged and released. And for anyone going through a transition, it's maybe a no brainer between freedom to be who they want to be, albeit paying for it is another issue, or risk being in prison, and all that entails, the full term for some treatment at government expense.
While I think it's time the military accept transgender people as the science and economics shows it's better for both the transgender people who are serving or want to serve and the military. The cost of a transition is far less than what the DOD and VA spend treating a disable soldier or veteran.
But until then, Manning is stuck in the laws and regulations governing transgender people in the military, and the choices they and Manning has within those laws and regulations. So yelling at the military about Manning's rights doesn't change anything.
The decision, and gamble, is Manning's. He's in prison for a reason, we shouldn't forget. And he/she deserves some measure of treatment for his/her condition, but not available where he/she current is incarcerated. The military is offering him what he demands, with caveats, and as they say, nothing comes without a price, as Manning has discovered.
But that's only half the problem and maybe something he/she may not want to ask to the military to do. Consider Manning has been sentenced to 35 years eligible for parole in 7 years. If Manning chose to stay in Leavenworth (military) prison, he will be released and then discharged in 7 years, after which he/she could pursue his/her transition.
If he accepts a transfer, the military could just as easily sustain the full prison sentence and Manning would be there the full 35 years, without the possibility of parole since Manning would be out of sight and mind of the military, but he/she could pursue some of her transition while in prison.
I won't argue about what Manning should do, but I will argue we shouldn't forget what he was convicted for while in a military uniform, which is something that seems to be lost on the transgender community, as they seem to think Manning's transition is more important than the crimes he/she committed.
And I disagree that not allowing someone to transition is cruel and unusual punishment as Manning won't die from not transitioning, although some transgender people have committed suicide over not being able to transition, there is no evidence Manning is such a person.
That said, does Manning deserves therapy and hormones? Probably, but that violates military regulations which anyone diagnosed with Gender Identity Condition is mentally ill and can't serve in the military. Hence the thought of the discharge and transfer for treatment.
And that's the conundrum with Manning. They can't discharge him (official status) until all legal avenues have been exhausted to transfer him, and they can't treat him. So he has the choice, maybe, to withdraw any appeal, get discharged and transferred in hopes of treatment but risk a longer sentence.
Or accept the reality and get through the 7 years, get paroled, discharged and released. And for anyone going through a transition, it's maybe a no brainer between freedom to be who they want to be, albeit paying for it is another issue, or risk being in prison, and all that entails, the full term for some treatment at government expense.
While I think it's time the military accept transgender people as the science and economics shows it's better for both the transgender people who are serving or want to serve and the military. The cost of a transition is far less than what the DOD and VA spend treating a disable soldier or veteran.
But until then, Manning is stuck in the laws and regulations governing transgender people in the military, and the choices they and Manning has within those laws and regulations. So yelling at the military about Manning's rights doesn't change anything.
The decision, and gamble, is Manning's. He's in prison for a reason, we shouldn't forget. And he/she deserves some measure of treatment for his/her condition, but not available where he/she current is incarcerated. The military is offering him what he demands, with caveats, and as they say, nothing comes without a price, as Manning has discovered.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Not All
There are no standards for transitioning women to live by anymore. There used to be with the one year real-life experience, often deemed a test, for approval for Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) where you were judged if you passed successfully as a woman.
As a therapist would tell you, the experience is to get used to presenting and living as a woman. In truth it was then and still is bullshit as anyone knows because while many pass most if not all the time, all transitioning women face the reality of being clocked or outed, creating more harm than good.
I've always argued that if you have been diagnosed with Gender Identity Condition and you accept the process with the understanding you make your choices and accept responsibilities for those choices, then you should have the right to the SRS and get your documents changed so you can get on with your life.
The truth is that even if you don't pass, that won't change after one year, and if you pass, then you don't need the one year. The one year test was a compromise years ago with the APA over those who argued no time is necessary and some who wanted 2-3 years.
It was those therapists who then used it to set standards of what was acceptable with the woman's presentation, meaning everything feminine and nothing masculine, and why many transitioning woman threw out their entire old wardrobe for their new one.
While some cherished this as a milestone, it was expensive for many and it was really stupid for some as they often threw away their favorite or best clothes for ones to get through the test and get the letters for surgery.
The point is that there are no standards anymore as some transitioning women don't throw out some of their old clothes and continue to wear them as women's styles now allow it. They aren't into makeup outside that which is necessary for the occasion.
They don't live to go shopping and for clothes and all the "normal" stuff they're expect to do as women. They live as who they are, and wear whatever they like, and do whatever they want. Some in and post transition don't fit the model or stereotype because it's not them.
The reality is that some don't like women's clothes because they often don't fit, it's tedious to find and then remember all the sizes which fits for each makers of clothes you like or want to try, and they often like colors found with men's clothes not availble in women's clothes.
In short some women keep and still buy men's clothes because they fit, they like the style, they prefer the colors and they're comfortable. They still wear women's clothes because they like them too but for some types, the men's are their preferred.
And the funny thing is they're still seen as women. And that's what some therapists have realized and accept with those women they're in therapy for their transition. Just be yourself and the letters will still get written and you'll still get the surgery.
That's because the diversity of women is far greater today where the diversity of transwomen now fits completely inside it. If only the APA can realize that to write standards which fits the new diversity than their narrow-minded ideal.
Not all transwomen fit their ideal but they're still women.
As a therapist would tell you, the experience is to get used to presenting and living as a woman. In truth it was then and still is bullshit as anyone knows because while many pass most if not all the time, all transitioning women face the reality of being clocked or outed, creating more harm than good.
I've always argued that if you have been diagnosed with Gender Identity Condition and you accept the process with the understanding you make your choices and accept responsibilities for those choices, then you should have the right to the SRS and get your documents changed so you can get on with your life.
The truth is that even if you don't pass, that won't change after one year, and if you pass, then you don't need the one year. The one year test was a compromise years ago with the APA over those who argued no time is necessary and some who wanted 2-3 years.
It was those therapists who then used it to set standards of what was acceptable with the woman's presentation, meaning everything feminine and nothing masculine, and why many transitioning woman threw out their entire old wardrobe for their new one.
While some cherished this as a milestone, it was expensive for many and it was really stupid for some as they often threw away their favorite or best clothes for ones to get through the test and get the letters for surgery.
The point is that there are no standards anymore as some transitioning women don't throw out some of their old clothes and continue to wear them as women's styles now allow it. They aren't into makeup outside that which is necessary for the occasion.
They don't live to go shopping and for clothes and all the "normal" stuff they're expect to do as women. They live as who they are, and wear whatever they like, and do whatever they want. Some in and post transition don't fit the model or stereotype because it's not them.
The reality is that some don't like women's clothes because they often don't fit, it's tedious to find and then remember all the sizes which fits for each makers of clothes you like or want to try, and they often like colors found with men's clothes not availble in women's clothes.
In short some women keep and still buy men's clothes because they fit, they like the style, they prefer the colors and they're comfortable. They still wear women's clothes because they like them too but for some types, the men's are their preferred.
And the funny thing is they're still seen as women. And that's what some therapists have realized and accept with those women they're in therapy for their transition. Just be yourself and the letters will still get written and you'll still get the surgery.
That's because the diversity of women is far greater today where the diversity of transwomen now fits completely inside it. If only the APA can realize that to write standards which fits the new diversity than their narrow-minded ideal.
Not all transwomen fit their ideal but they're still women.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Never Are
Transgender people never are the person of their birth sex. They simply are born of that sex and then live and present at that gender until they transition to be who they have been all along, themselves in whatever sex and gender they are in their mind and their heart.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Not Getting It
A conversation between a woman and someone she just met.
Him: "So, are you pre-op or post-op?"
Her: "Does it really matter?"
Him: "I couldn't tell. I thought you are a woman."
Her: "I am a woman. That's the point."
Him: "You took it wrong."
Her: "No, you meant it wrong."
Him: "I was only asking."
Her: "Something that's none of your business."
Him: "It is if I like you."
Her: "Then, are you pre-op or post-op?"
Him: "What the hell does that mean, I'm a guy."
Her: "Yeah, that's the point."
Him: "But I haven't had surgery."
Her: "Really, could have fooled me. I thought you were a guy."
Him: "I am."
Her: "As I'm a woman."
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Myopia
The one condition the transgender community suffers from is myopia. If you read all the news, the editorials, blogs, forums, etc. (I only access very few but enough through links) you come away with the sense they're either singing to the choir of like-minded transpeople or shouting at the crowd of opposing transpeople.
They very rarely write for the larger world and media outside the transgender umbrella, so you come away feeling like it's a large gender enclosed arena and unless you're "one of them" you're ignored, dismissed or hated, unless of course you agree with them.
The problem with that myopia is that the transgender community is not uniformily defined by the members and not universally agreed on the use of words for identifying people or classes of people, so words become swords and views become false wars.
As Shakespeare would say, "Much ado about nothing." or more any one of a number of saying about tempests in teapots, molehills and mountains, etc. You get the point. A good example is all the noise about the use of the word "tranny" and who defines and gets to use it.
This pitted the gay-drag community and the transwomen who came through to transition against those who felt the word, commonly used by RuPaul and other drag queens and often applied to transitioning, even post-transition, women, was derogatory and demeaning.
The former accused the latter of not understanding the history of the word and the latter accused the former of being dismissive. And then there were some transwomen who tried to arbitrate but only succeeded in stating the case for each and not solving anything.
In short, it's a lot of voices and noise at each other all the while the gay-drag community issued a half-hearted apology and promise, not RuPaul but the producers of the RuPaul show, that won't change anything.
The truth is, as many wrote, the public view of transwomen is taken from other groups under the transgender umbrella, such as the drag-queens, cross-dressers, she-males, etal. and some of the public post-transition women while helping transgender women are actually hurting post-transition women.
And that's something only a few of the public (post-transition) women do successively to represent women because they don't the use the stupid little adjective while most of them use it to promote themselves and transgender women not distinguishing between those in transition and those post-transition.
They're in effect talking to themselves thinking they're talking to the public. Transcommunity myopia in a nutshell.
They very rarely write for the larger world and media outside the transgender umbrella, so you come away feeling like it's a large gender enclosed arena and unless you're "one of them" you're ignored, dismissed or hated, unless of course you agree with them.
The problem with that myopia is that the transgender community is not uniformily defined by the members and not universally agreed on the use of words for identifying people or classes of people, so words become swords and views become false wars.
As Shakespeare would say, "Much ado about nothing." or more any one of a number of saying about tempests in teapots, molehills and mountains, etc. You get the point. A good example is all the noise about the use of the word "tranny" and who defines and gets to use it.
This pitted the gay-drag community and the transwomen who came through to transition against those who felt the word, commonly used by RuPaul and other drag queens and often applied to transitioning, even post-transition, women, was derogatory and demeaning.
The former accused the latter of not understanding the history of the word and the latter accused the former of being dismissive. And then there were some transwomen who tried to arbitrate but only succeeded in stating the case for each and not solving anything.
In short, it's a lot of voices and noise at each other all the while the gay-drag community issued a half-hearted apology and promise, not RuPaul but the producers of the RuPaul show, that won't change anything.
The truth is, as many wrote, the public view of transwomen is taken from other groups under the transgender umbrella, such as the drag-queens, cross-dressers, she-males, etal. and some of the public post-transition women while helping transgender women are actually hurting post-transition women.
And that's something only a few of the public (post-transition) women do successively to represent women because they don't the use the stupid little adjective while most of them use it to promote themselves and transgender women not distinguishing between those in transition and those post-transition.
They're in effect talking to themselves thinking they're talking to the public. Transcommunity myopia in a nutshell.
War of Words
What I take away from the argument over RuPaul's use of language and the subsequent criticism about that, and the war of words over this issue is that some in the community seem to have lost the idea that you can hold and express a view that isn't inclusive while understanding the views of others that is inclusive, and that is unfair to be dismissive of the younger generation for their non-inclusive view simply because they are seen as younger and less experienced in the community.
The younger generation has the right to their view, the right to express it, and they should be heard and considered, and even embraced because it can and will produce change, change often needed over the pushback from some of the "established" folks. The only thing older folks get when they don't just listen and adapt to the younger generation is left and forgotten as a vestige of the community's past, written into history and not in the present.
The reality is that the vast majority of transpeople could not care less about RuPaul and the war of words. He's seen as what he is, an older icon of the gay-drag community and not a transgender person let alone representative of the transgender community, but is still seen by the media as one and invited to on shows to speak for them, who then turns around and denigrates and dismisses transwomen.
And for that Parker Molloy was, in my view, right to hold him and his show accountable for the transphobic use of the words and his frequent comments for transwomen to become more like drag queens and less like real women. That is not positive for the transgender community, some of whom praise him in spite of the use of slurs.
Despite what RuPaul says and does in public or on his show probably doesn't change what he does and says in private, so much of this war on words is only for ourselves and considered meaningless outside our community. That has been lost in the noise. To me we don't need to descalate the arugment but take a step back and take a breath to recognize we all have voices and we will have differences, and whether you agree or not with the different views.
The younger generation has the right to their view, the right to express it, and they should be heard and considered, and even embraced because it can and will produce change, change often needed over the pushback from some of the "established" folks. The only thing older folks get when they don't just listen and adapt to the younger generation is left and forgotten as a vestige of the community's past, written into history and not in the present.
The reality is that the vast majority of transpeople could not care less about RuPaul and the war of words. He's seen as what he is, an older icon of the gay-drag community and not a transgender person let alone representative of the transgender community, but is still seen by the media as one and invited to on shows to speak for them, who then turns around and denigrates and dismisses transwomen.
And for that Parker Molloy was, in my view, right to hold him and his show accountable for the transphobic use of the words and his frequent comments for transwomen to become more like drag queens and less like real women. That is not positive for the transgender community, some of whom praise him in spite of the use of slurs.
Despite what RuPaul says and does in public or on his show probably doesn't change what he does and says in private, so much of this war on words is only for ourselves and considered meaningless outside our community. That has been lost in the noise. To me we don't need to descalate the arugment but take a step back and take a breath to recognize we all have voices and we will have differences, and whether you agree or not with the different views.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Some Women
Some women transition not because they love clothes and want to always be "dressed", like to wear makeup and want to wear it everytime in public, want to be "feminine" and be seen as a "real" woman, want to go anywhere and everyone calls her "she" or "maam", no none of that.
Some women transition not to have a body that attracts men who want to have sex with her, want to have a face others, even women, call beautiful, want to be able to be wear the latest bathing suit, the less the better, to be seen as sexy, no none of that.
Some women transition just to be who they are whatever that is, to be themselves however they are seen, to be comfortable with their body, everything about it including and especially their vagina, theirs and not something they planned to have, wanted to have, but simply have.
Some women transition to be, nothing more and nothing less. They'll live with the rest, whatever it is and happens. Some women transition not for everyone else but just themself, all of that.
Some women transition not to have a body that attracts men who want to have sex with her, want to have a face others, even women, call beautiful, want to be able to be wear the latest bathing suit, the less the better, to be seen as sexy, no none of that.
Some women transition just to be who they are whatever that is, to be themselves however they are seen, to be comfortable with their body, everything about it including and especially their vagina, theirs and not something they planned to have, wanted to have, but simply have.
Some women transition to be, nothing more and nothing less. They'll live with the rest, whatever it is and happens. Some women transition not for everyone else but just themself, all of that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
