The owner and policy maker of the Michigan Women's Music Festival (MWMF) has issued a affirmation of the policy that the festival is off-limits to transwomen, specifically referring to those women who are born male but are women. Ok, discrimination at its worst but I'm curious.
How exactly does the organizers decide which women to exclude if a former transwomen, meaning a woman who has fully transitioned physically, yes that surgery, and legally? Do they do DNA tests on each women to establish their chromosomes?
We know that some transwomen and former transwomen (transitioned) have attended the festival so the policy is bogus at best since some of the organizers have admited these women. So what exactly do the women at the festival have against women who haven't fully transitioned?
[Note.-- One transwoman actually wrote about it a column, but has since left the place she wrote columns. She wrote she spoke out at the festival about this discrimination but then said it was a private conversation with one organizer who was a friend.]
Do they think they're men in disguise? Like say butch dykes or transmen who are allowed to attend because they are XX and have a vagina, even though some recognize as men and not women? How many transmen attend because they still have a friendship with women?
And what about women born women who don't necessarily look female or act feminine, do they get scrutinized for their sex and gender? And who is the police for this, or do they really care and admit women in regardless if they have the proper documentation?
The whole thing on the part of the owner and organizers is a sham and a shame on women. I agree with Andrea Gibson and the Indigo Girls for boycotting it year and next year, respectively. I agree more performers, artist and prominent people should speak up and boycott the event.
The law allows the owner and organizers of the MWMF to discriminate, the same way the Boy Scouts ban gays except they've had gay in the organization for decades as transwomen and former transwomen have attended the MWMF.
It's funny that women who scream the loudest at discrimination by men decide to discriminate against other women, but no matter how they try to describe and explain this policy and practice, it's exactly what they would scream against if it was focused on them.
Women have cried foul on men-only clubs, organizations, and events, such as the Augusta National Golf Club recently, and even filed lawsuits against privately own ones for outright and obvious discrimination, but then say it's ok for them to discriminate and call it fair?
It's time for the MWMF to change. What do these women who are the festival and those who attend it fear from other women, a fear solely based on birth sex? What don't they know about the Civil Rights Act that they have used so often when it's discrimination against them and now it's they who discriminate?
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
The Sad Reality
The sad reality for some women who transition is that even with facial surgery, and maybe, but not necessary, breast augmentation or liposuction surgeries, they will never really pass beyond getting through life with some occasional stares or soem questions or comments.
The sad reality is that they know who they are as a woman, but the mirror tells them something else, the body they were born with and have just doesn't get them very far as a woman. What's worse is they read the blogs and columns of women who do pass who tell them, "Hang in there.", among the rest of the hype to make them feel better.
But really all that does is make them feel worse, as there is nothing worse than someone who has succeeded in passing telling someone who doesn't it's ok. It only makes the other woman feel superior and better. No one needs it or wants it.
And it's the sad reality all the way around, to transition and never really arrive at your goal, to just be invisible as an ordinary woman when you see other women not only finish but succeed and even be beautiful.
The sad reality is that they know who they are as a woman, but the mirror tells them something else, the body they were born with and have just doesn't get them very far as a woman. What's worse is they read the blogs and columns of women who do pass who tell them, "Hang in there.", among the rest of the hype to make them feel better.
But really all that does is make them feel worse, as there is nothing worse than someone who has succeeded in passing telling someone who doesn't it's ok. It only makes the other woman feel superior and better. No one needs it or wants it.
And it's the sad reality all the way around, to transition and never really arrive at your goal, to just be invisible as an ordinary woman when you see other women not only finish but succeed and even be beautiful.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Transition Suggestions
Here are my suggestions if you are starting your transition or even some ways into it but still have some changes to go. These assume you have access to good professional transgender resources found in most cities, but if not then find the nearest city with them.
First, forget the transgender/transsexual community. Don't attend in group meetings and only have a few trans friends you've knownand trust for years. All the rest will either lie to you or hate you for being either passable or successful with your transition.
Second, find a good trans experienced physician and a good trans experienced therapist who have overseen a lot of transitions and focus on the issues of your transition. Walk away from gatekeepers and any professional who judges you before they say they'll help you.
Their goal is to help you get through your transition and on with your life, nothing more. Everything else is just talk you don't need. Both should be knowledgeable with other professionals who are trans friendly to help with what they can't.
Remember with your transition your priorities should be, first, your life; second, your health; third your fitness; and last your transition. It doesn't pay to transition if you wreck the first three. Remember you need a job, some money and necessary resources for and after your transition.
Without them your transition will leave you what you want but not what you need. Fit your transition into the first three and you'll be surprised how easy it can go, or not and you can adjust or adapt your transition, maybe longer but still succeed with your life, health and fitness.
Third, never tell you health insurance company you're transgender or have GID. Have the physician and therapist avoid any trans diagnosis or treatment with any claim. Just treat you like a normal person and you'll be surprised the insurance company won't question the expenses.
Read your health insurance coverage benefits and exclusions. You'll be surprised that they'll cover therapy of a general nature, maybe at higher co-pay but still covered, for non-specific conditions without requiring a diagnosis.
That said, only use GID if you know you have the coverage for transgender care, often called "sex transformation", for therapy, drugs, care, surgeries, etc., but first be very sure. Don't risk letting them know unless they have it written in the policy.
Fourth, find a trans experienced electrologist or laser specialist, preferably the former if you want permanent facial (and other) hair removal but some have success with the latter. They tend to be more understanding.
Fifth, find a trans friendly clothing expert or wardrobe advisor. Don't use any transwomen as examples or go to "transgender" friendly clothing stores, they're too expensive. You'll find many clothing stores, even the upscale and larger ones, understand transwomen.
Sixth, follow women's fashion for your age and style. Don't use transwomen and especially crossdressers as examples for anything fashion. Don't let anyone tell you to buy a lot of clothes to try different things if you don't have the money or the interest, unless you plan to give a lot of clothes away later.
Remember a few good styles and clothes go a long way. Find a style you're comfortable with being you and then explore styles and clothes when you want if you have the extra money. Clothes collecting dust or sitting in the closet only hurts your pocket book.
Seventh, your therapist should know the process for name change, sex/gender marker changes, etc. and legal experts to help you through the process. Don't let them require you pass some sort of test or play dressup for their approval and letters.
Remember you're a woman, not a stereotype, be yourself with your own style. Any good therapist and physician understands diversity to write the letter you need for legalities or surgeries. It's not about how you present yourself, it's about who you are.
Lastly, stay away from the transcommunity at all cost. You'll be living in the world of women, not transwomen. Be a woman like all the rest of them. Just my thoughts and experience. Good luck.
First, forget the transgender/transsexual community. Don't attend in group meetings and only have a few trans friends you've knownand trust for years. All the rest will either lie to you or hate you for being either passable or successful with your transition.
Second, find a good trans experienced physician and a good trans experienced therapist who have overseen a lot of transitions and focus on the issues of your transition. Walk away from gatekeepers and any professional who judges you before they say they'll help you.
Their goal is to help you get through your transition and on with your life, nothing more. Everything else is just talk you don't need. Both should be knowledgeable with other professionals who are trans friendly to help with what they can't.
Remember with your transition your priorities should be, first, your life; second, your health; third your fitness; and last your transition. It doesn't pay to transition if you wreck the first three. Remember you need a job, some money and necessary resources for and after your transition.
Without them your transition will leave you what you want but not what you need. Fit your transition into the first three and you'll be surprised how easy it can go, or not and you can adjust or adapt your transition, maybe longer but still succeed with your life, health and fitness.
Third, never tell you health insurance company you're transgender or have GID. Have the physician and therapist avoid any trans diagnosis or treatment with any claim. Just treat you like a normal person and you'll be surprised the insurance company won't question the expenses.
Read your health insurance coverage benefits and exclusions. You'll be surprised that they'll cover therapy of a general nature, maybe at higher co-pay but still covered, for non-specific conditions without requiring a diagnosis.
That said, only use GID if you know you have the coverage for transgender care, often called "sex transformation", for therapy, drugs, care, surgeries, etc., but first be very sure. Don't risk letting them know unless they have it written in the policy.
Fourth, find a trans experienced electrologist or laser specialist, preferably the former if you want permanent facial (and other) hair removal but some have success with the latter. They tend to be more understanding.
Fifth, find a trans friendly clothing expert or wardrobe advisor. Don't use any transwomen as examples or go to "transgender" friendly clothing stores, they're too expensive. You'll find many clothing stores, even the upscale and larger ones, understand transwomen.
Sixth, follow women's fashion for your age and style. Don't use transwomen and especially crossdressers as examples for anything fashion. Don't let anyone tell you to buy a lot of clothes to try different things if you don't have the money or the interest, unless you plan to give a lot of clothes away later.
Remember a few good styles and clothes go a long way. Find a style you're comfortable with being you and then explore styles and clothes when you want if you have the extra money. Clothes collecting dust or sitting in the closet only hurts your pocket book.
Seventh, your therapist should know the process for name change, sex/gender marker changes, etc. and legal experts to help you through the process. Don't let them require you pass some sort of test or play dressup for their approval and letters.
Remember you're a woman, not a stereotype, be yourself with your own style. Any good therapist and physician understands diversity to write the letter you need for legalities or surgeries. It's not about how you present yourself, it's about who you are.
Lastly, stay away from the transcommunity at all cost. You'll be living in the world of women, not transwomen. Be a woman like all the rest of them. Just my thoughts and experience. Good luck.
To Cisgender Women
Cisgender people have many things in common with transgender, in fact 99.9% percent of things in common. Cisgender people may or may not like their body, their looks, their emotional or mental state at times, their voice, even their mind, or even more things about about themselves.
That's human nature as every person has feelings about themselves, both good and bad, even to the point the want to or do have surgery to correct what they hate. but cisgender people always walk out their front door with one sense they can't deny.
Cisgender people never question their gender, never question who they are a inside their body, never question their mind knowing it's the right gender for them and their body. And they know no one will question them about it either.
The only differnce, that very small percentage, is one genetic thing, a physical defect of being born with the wrong genitals. That's all, nothing else and nothing more. Just something remedied with surgery and then they're just another woman like all women.
Remember all women are different and not all women can concieve, become or be pregnant, or give birth. It doesn't detract or subtract from them being women. Everything else is there. And intersex women are the same.
And transwomen are the same, the same as cisgender people. Is that so hard to understand? We're all just human beings trying to find ourself, trying to be comfortable with our body, and trying to survive as best we can.
That's human nature as every person has feelings about themselves, both good and bad, even to the point the want to or do have surgery to correct what they hate. but cisgender people always walk out their front door with one sense they can't deny.
Cisgender people never question their gender, never question who they are a inside their body, never question their mind knowing it's the right gender for them and their body. And they know no one will question them about it either.
The only differnce, that very small percentage, is one genetic thing, a physical defect of being born with the wrong genitals. That's all, nothing else and nothing more. Just something remedied with surgery and then they're just another woman like all women.
Remember all women are different and not all women can concieve, become or be pregnant, or give birth. It doesn't detract or subtract from them being women. Everything else is there. And intersex women are the same.
And transwomen are the same, the same as cisgender people. Is that so hard to understand? We're all just human beings trying to find ourself, trying to be comfortable with our body, and trying to survive as best we can.
Monday, April 15, 2013
What I dislke
What I dislike are reading stories of transitioning women to read about how far along are they on their Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), to report how much they're taking and how much it has changed them physically. I don't dislike these women.
What I dislike is that they often become almost to always passable to be privileged to live in the world as women because of the changes HRT has made and will make with them and that they don't seem to realize there are some transitioning woman who can't take HRT.
These women don't get the advantages of HRT, don't get the changes which helps them, and don't get past being themselves physically in the world looking male in a female world. It hurts, more than anyone can imagine if you're not one of these women.
These women can't take HRT because of the adverse effects far outweigh the advantages where they get more of the adverse effects with minimal dosages and little if any of the good effects. These range from excerbating physical conditions, like IBS, bleeding digestive system, crashing the metabolism and depression.
It doesn't matter if it's Spironolactone or Estradiol, both have adverse effects they can't tolerate. And that's what I dislike when other transition women express themselves openly and freely about how much HRT has helped and changed them.
I don't dislike the women who can take HRT, I'm happy for them. I only wish they'd think a little more of those who can't have their experience and understand. Sadly some don't, even being dismissive and critical of non-passing transitioning women. And that's what I dislike about them.
What I dislike is that they often become almost to always passable to be privileged to live in the world as women because of the changes HRT has made and will make with them and that they don't seem to realize there are some transitioning woman who can't take HRT.
These women don't get the advantages of HRT, don't get the changes which helps them, and don't get past being themselves physically in the world looking male in a female world. It hurts, more than anyone can imagine if you're not one of these women.
These women can't take HRT because of the adverse effects far outweigh the advantages where they get more of the adverse effects with minimal dosages and little if any of the good effects. These range from excerbating physical conditions, like IBS, bleeding digestive system, crashing the metabolism and depression.
It doesn't matter if it's Spironolactone or Estradiol, both have adverse effects they can't tolerate. And that's what I dislike when other transition women express themselves openly and freely about how much HRT has helped and changed them.
I don't dislike the women who can take HRT, I'm happy for them. I only wish they'd think a little more of those who can't have their experience and understand. Sadly some don't, even being dismissive and critical of non-passing transitioning women. And that's what I dislike about them.
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