I got this banner from the Mombian Website to blog for LGBT families. Ok, I've been a longtime, although quiet, supporter of LGBT rights and write occasional essays on gender. And to those who may wonder, or not or don't care, I'm not gay. I write because it's about human rights and equality. Nothing more, just the basic value that all of us are guaranteed the same rights under our Constitution.So, what can I say? Well, besides the obvious for or against the stuff that pervades the media and all the news and opinion blogs, I can write about my personal view about people, and being one myself, I have my own experience and the right to express that. I have met and known, as all of us have whether we know it or not, a number of LGBT people. They're as ordinary as everyone else, and also extraordinary as everyone else in our own individuality. But sadly, LGBT people are also one of the most maligned groups of people in our history.
But this, for the Mombian blog request, is about families. What we often forget in all the political rhetoric is that mothers and Moms are just that, women who bring us into the world and devote a good measure of years to help us grow and growup. And, in the end, a woman's sexuality is irrelevant when it comes to being a Mom. Is that so hard to understand? Not for me. And you?
If you can't or don't want to understand it, I suggest you take a look at your own life, and ask yourself the question for all the years your were growing up, did it matter in any way if your Mom was straight or a lesbian? Only maybe that her partner in life was either a man, a woman or a transperson? So what? You still grew up and still feel normal. And you're still loved by your Mom and her partner in life.
I've always been curious where those who talk about the morality of marriage and family get their idea to defend what's called the importance of family for America. They're implicitly eliminating at least half the marriages and families in this country, where one or both of the couple are divorced at least once, where parents are absent especially fathers because of divorce, work or just having left altogether, or where children are simply ignored or neglected, or worse, victims of physical, emotional or sexual abuse.
They talk about the ideal against the reality of the world. Others have shown in general children of LGBT families have at least equal and often better parents, have better childhoods in the family, and are better adults who are more accepting of the diversity. The problems the "moral people" cite against LGBT children aren't from the home or the family but from world outside the home, in school, in their community and in their travels, much it from the intolerance of these same people.
So, who's the problem? Not the LGBT families. They're as loving parents and devoted partners you'll find anywhere, as they've shown LGB families are generally better and have a lower separation and/or divorce rate. Unfortunately families with a transperson aren't as lucky, but it's not for the reasons of the children or the whole family. But the families with a transperson which survive divorce are on par with LGB families and even divorced couples with a tranperson will usually re-establish family ties.
Why are they better families? I can't hazard a guess without it being just an opinion from my knowledge and observation. But I have to say that for one LGBT families want families, not for the sake of just being a family, but for the family itself. It's about the values LGBT parents have toward their children. They don't follow the rules that straight couples follow for a family, namely for the sake of everything else around the family, such as society, their own parents, their friends, etc.
LGBT families believe in the fundamental idea of the family as family not as others think they should be or are as family and they understand the realities of families to better resolves issues and problems. They are what the critics call a family with loving partners, loving parents, and children who are valued for themselves. The only difference? They're Lesbian or Gay parents. The rest is the same.
So, maybe we should be looking at LGBT families as the standard? For one they couldn't be worse that what's happened so far, but mostly, to me, they're better than many families with straight parents. In the end it's when the child is an adult, they have the one thing every child wants, the love of their parents. And that only takes being a good parent.
