WTF

Why do people who interview transwomen, sometimes even knowing they have had "the surgery", meaning sex reassignment surgery, apologize that people always ask about the surgery knowing it's personal, but then ask the damn question anyway?

It escapes me they talk about how it's personal and not really something to talk about let alone ask if the person has had the surgery, but then they ask it anyway like it's the story, and often the highlight of the story, forgetting the whole person.

It's really a WTF moment to hear it, and more so when the transwomen actually answers it, like it's supposed to change anything. Really, why do they answer it or just say, "It's personal and private and not open for public discussion."?

No one asks men or women about any genital surgery they've had, so why ask a transwoman? It's insulting and an invasion of their life and privacy, and should be left out of any interview. Once a woman transitions, it's all behind her, so why ask about it as if it's current?

It's not. It's not who they are. It's not how they're defined. It's not what makes them a person or human being. It's just what they had to complete their transition to be a woman. That's all. Accept it and accept it's not worth the questions.

I'd like to have one of them reply to the interviewer, "So, what you're genitalia like?" Ok, dumb rant done after watching an interview, but at least they did focus on the woman's work after the stupid question about the surgery.

Really

What I dislike are people who have Websites on Tumblr, Blogger, Wordpress, Live Journal, Twitter, Facebook, etc. and describe it as a LGBT Website and then forget the "T" to be exclusively about lesbian or gay people with some straight people.

What's worse are gays boys and men who talk about or portray drag queens, female impersonators, shemales, crossdressers, etal. as transgender people, and all about glam, tits and ass, makeup and every exageration of women and always about their dicks.

Then they wonder why real transgender and post-transition people hate them, "Like duh!"

Annika's Way Cool Article

Annika (Penelope) wrote an excellent article about her transition, "Ten Things I Wish I'd Known When I Started My Transition", found on Autostraddle or the Huffington Post. She is at the end of her second year and getting on with her life just being a woman (transanything optional to her now).

I would only add a few things. First, don't make your transition front and center of your life, make it fit within your existing life, work, school, career, whatever. The point being you will get through your transition but your life, etc. will continue as you will be then.

It's easy to make your transition a focus as it's important to get through it with all the work for it, therapy (more about that), medical tests, hrt, surgeries, legal stuff, etc., not to mention the family and friends, social world and network, clothes, etc.

But try hard to make it fit into your life. Be yourself with everything else and your transition will blend into the whole array of being yourself. That is what's most important, life, now and in the future, when you're through your transition and living as yourself.

This is where many make the mistake to focus on their transition to find themselves afterward without much of a life, maybe or maybe not work and especially a career, and likey broke if not in debt for years if not decades.

If it takes your transition a little longer to live through it better on the other side, do it, you'll be and feel better for it because you won't have all the problems you created earlier or during your transition. Don't create problems you don't need or want.

Second, therapy is key, not for who you are, that's given and known, but what you will go through and how to survive. A good therapist is a god send to be there to listen, ask questions, give advice, in short, help you mentally with all the aches, pains, problems, troubles, etc. There will be many.

Third, make your heatlth and fitness top priorities. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) will change everything and not everyone's mind and/or body is tolerant of some of the HRT drugs or dosages. Don't crash your mind or body, it's not worth it so find a way to transition with the optimium dosage of HRT.

Fourth, I agree, you can't have enough money. If you're lucky, like Annika, to pass without facial surgery or want breast augmentation surgery, all you need is money for your sex affirmation surgery, especially if it's not covered by insurance.

Don't underestimate the medical costs, especially if you don't have access to a free or low-cost clinic for therapy, basic physician services and low-cost HRT. While employers will cover these, the vast majority in health insurance companies explicitly don't cover it.

As for losing privilege, yes, it's a reality, but less if you're older as you have a career you can rely on if you keep it. The mistake many make is walking away from their career and lose an advantages they had to start over as women, or worse as "transwomen."

This where many make the mistake to go fulltime before they're ready, mentally and physically and with life and work. Some are lucky to have good employers but many aren't and find themselves unemployed and unemployable.

The advantage of being older is you have a little more freedom from being socially or fashionably conscious of your appearance. Not to say it doesn't hurt to be, it's less important as older women have less interest if they choose and only for those occasions where it's expected.

All in all, Annika's article is great advice.

The Stupid Little Adjective

What's the stupid, little adjective? Transgender. Why? Because it's a totally meaningless word invented by people to catagorize them and to discriminate against them.

It's used by the transcommunity to arbitrarily label them for political purposes.

It's used by the gay and lesbian community to demonize and hate them.

It's used by women's groups to reject them.

It's used by the media to label them and hype stories.

It's used by the religious right and conservatives to discriminate against them.

It's used by the medical community to control them.

It's used by the health insurance industry to deny them.

It's used by companies to deny jobs or fire them without other cause or reason.

It's used by law enforcement to dehumanize them.

It's used by people to humilitate, embarrass and harrass them.

It's used by men to rape, beat and kill them.

And it's even used by transgender people to make themselves feel better than other transpeople.

It's used by people to isolate them for their own purposes and make them feel less than human. It's why any in/post-transition person should reject the word and label for their own freedom from the oppression by everyone else.

They should forget it exists and live their life as they know who they are, not what someone else wants to call them. It's why it's the stupid, little adjective.

Just a Choice

To folks, especially transfolks,

Some transpeople believe in binary genders, some don't, not just three but multiple genders, and some believe in the fluid spectrum of gender. They're all correct for the person as long as they don't impose them on others or vehemently disagree with others over it.

So, lighten up and respect everyone's opinion about gender and realize yours is just yours, and like everyone, we all have opinions which are all equal and equally valid for some people. It's why some transpeople transition into specific genders, some live as a combination of genders and some live on the spectrum.

It's all about being people and being human. Ok? So lighten up and let people have their definitions of gender because it doesn't change your defintion for yourself or change yourself. Smile and enjoy the diversity of people. You're still you.

No Ms Kershew

Ms Kershew, after listening to your rant in your video, found here, you don't understand why people don't identify as transgender when you want to label them transgender. It's not that people transition or have transitioned have gender issues or insecurities as you seem to assume they do because they hate the word transgender and more so applied to them, it for a simple reason you don't seem to grasp.

The word transgender is elective to the person, like yourself who you call yourself a transgender woman, and not to people who identify as a man or woman regardless of their body or sex. That's their right, and it's not your right to say differently.

Your assumption and accusation that people who don't want to identify as transgender have insecurities is wrong. These people are secure with themselves and with their gender identity, it just doesn't include the label transgender. They can and do refuse it because it's who they are, just men or women.

And that's not your right to say otherwise and it's especially not your right to say they have a mental or personal problem. You don't know them, don't know their life, and don't know how they feel about or see themselves. You don't get to tell them.

I realize as you state in the video, you've talked to quite a few "transpeople" and found many don't use the term to identify themselves, but that doesn't make you more knowledgeable than just those discussions, so don't assume more than you have learned.

Many, and many would say most, people who have transitioned don't have anything to do with the transcommunity or with the word transgender. You may not fully realize the realities of that word to many people if they were outed or came out because of circumstances or choice.

It's why those many, or most, transition and get on with their lives without ever engaging in the word transgender. It's common today as people transition with the array of medical and legal professionals to transition without every being identified as transgender other than for medical or legal necessity, if at all.

That's because today you don't have to identify as transgender to qualify to transition. You just identify as who you are in whatever body and sex you were born and identify what sex and gender you want to be and live the rest of your life. The word transgender doesn't and never applies.

And that's why you seem to fail to realize let alone understand, the word transgender is elective and not punitive or indicative of anything about the person if they choose not to use it for themselves. It's their right and no one, least of all you, can say otherwise.

And by the way, all the post-transition men and women who didn't and don't identify as transgender are all perfectly normal and happy people about themselves. Yes, they're still the same person in many respects after as before their transition, and that's the point, they're not insecure.

They're just normal people free of that stupid little adjective.

Self-inflated Importance

Why do the people in the transcommunity think so highly of themselves? I'm just curious because there are so few pre-, in- and post-transpeople, mostly transwomen, publically out and fewer active in the transcommunity with respect to the total number of transpeople who are transitioning and the many who have transitioned going back two to three decades.

I'm not arguing the transcommunity is important and they've made great strides for all transpeople, well, most have as some are the best example of who and what's wrong with transpeople, but they seem to have a self-inflated view of their importance to all transpeople.

I say this because the vast majority of transwomen transition without the help or even the need for the transcommunity and on a small percentage have needed or used the legal rights and protections afforded them through the work of the transcommunity.

Many of the legal strides haven't been by the transcommunity or people in the transcommunity, but by individual for their own reasons, often due to discrimination or rejection for something with their transition, their work or their life.

And even when you look at the strides of public and active transwomen (mostly self-identified transwomen), you'll see their work isn't so much for the community or to help other transwomen, but for their own careers, often saying, "I'm out to help others in the community as a role model."

Well, as many transwomen might say, "Stop and don't.", meaning stop acting so self-important and don't act like you're a role model, it's not helping others, just themselves. The best role models are every transwoman for herself.

A transwoman today can completely transition under the medically supervised care of a physician and/or specialist, get her surgery and then her documents changed, and never once attended a meeting of any transcommunity, never once met with public or active transwomen, or had any association with other transwomen.

It's that easy to do that today, some in part from the work of the transcommunity, but not all and not always as it's been a progression of other factors which provides for safer and easier transition these day if you have the money, which leads to their one failure.

That is their failure to get insurance companies to cover transitions. While many employers and some state or local governments cover transition expenses through self-insurance or special coverage, the insurance have almost all refused to cover it.

And that's where the transcommunity can serve transpeople the most, especially now under the Affordable Care Act for health insurance for almost all people in this country. That would be cool, but they seem to be self-absorded with the own self-importance than try, and better succeed.

The Difference

The difference between a transwoman and woman is a transwoman wants a vagina, a real woman lives with one. A transwoman will be a woman living with one, something a real woman already knows from birth, and that difference between disappears as the transwoman lives with hers and simply is a woman.

What Escapes Me

What escapes is reading life stories about female-to-male transmen. I can understand male-to-female transwomen wanting to transition to be physically and legally women as much as possible. I just can't seem to understand why a woman would want to become a man, to lose the very things transwomen wished they were born with.

It's really the same story, just told in reverse, so why is it so hard to understand? But then there's a lot that escapes me about human nature, even understanding my own.

An Impression

Why do I get the impression that some of the worst people are the transphobic, lesbian, radical feminist? Reading their posts and essay you get the impression they hate everyone, even women, except of course, some lesbians.

They argue anyone who talks against them is spouting hate speech but their words, equally hateful and offensive in tenor and tone, isn't? They assume eveyone else, meaning all men and straight women, hate them because they're lesbians.

They assume transwomen with vaginas aren't women because to them, only a "natural" vagina counts for being female and a woman, fogetting the wide variety of women's vagina and those who are intersexed or have reproductive system abnormalities.

They just hate. Or at least one gets the impression from their words.

Sorry No

Monica Roberts, an out and proud transwoman, wrote in a recent column essentially not asking but almost demanding transwomen, "... need to be out, proud and claiming their rightful place in the beautiful mosaic of human life. We need to be and are demanding our human rights be respected and protected in the laws of the countries we reside in. We are demanding respect for our humanity from friend, foe and frenemy."

Sorry Ms. Robert, no they shouldn't be out if they so choose and want to remain private to protect themselves from public scurtiny and verbal, if not physical, attacks. No one in the transcommunity, who have always argued all transpeople be "out and proud", have the right to dictate how any other transperson lives their life.

It's the right of each transperson, because when almost all transpeople, mostly transwomen, finish their transition they think of themselves or live their lives as transgender, only male or female, and no one, not anyone in the transcommunity, has the right to claim and label them as "trans..."

As much I might agree with Ms. Roberts transpeople need respect, protection and rights, I disagree with how it's done. I also know that once someone transitions (legal documents), they're protected by the Civil Rights Act (laws) for their sex, simply as men and women, not trans-anything, something either missed or overlooked by the transcommunity.

So, no Ms. Roberts, keep your advice to yourself and leave all the other transwomen to themselves. They don't tell you how to live your life, so you don't have the right to tell them. The vast majority of post-transition women are to some measure stealth and they deserve the right to stay there if they choose.

Three Types

There are three types of "transgender" women, those who wish they were born female, those who wish to be female and those who like to pretend to be female. The first two are the ones who transition if they can and the last are not transgender but simply crossdressers.

Who's not included in that description are those who are either genderqueer or androgynous, who are comfortable being themselves in whatever clothes or roles which suits them, and don't prescribe to any flavor of distinct gender, even transgender.