Becoming Invisible

The goal of many, and some say most, in and post-transistion women is to become invisible in their life and work, as women, and to let the label of their past and transistion fade into the distance of time. This is accomplished by many when they're recognized as women, and nothing is in the words, and any public announcements or notices, about their former sex (not gender as they've always self-identified as female).

As they say, they arrived, if only for a moment, but it's like cresting a hill and on the way down you lose all sight of the valley you left behind. It's simply becomes a memory, always there and ready to become visible if the situation or circumstances happen. But then you'll be long over any stress of the, "What if they find out.", and will simply say, "Ok, and?"

It's also the bane of the transcommunity when this happens. Not just when the vast majority escape the transcommunity shortly after finishing their transistion, meaning getting their documents changed, but when your past isn't even in the discussion in your life and work. They simply are women.

The transcommunity sells this as the goal of transistioning women, but also harbor the silent, and sometimes not so silent, wish, post-transistion women hang around the transcommunity. Some do because they have little choice, it's their public identity, not by choice but circumstances. And some do by choice.

And some really less by choice than reality. For a variety of reasons some simply find it hard to assimilate into the world of women, usually they don't pass well enough to become physically invisible. It's the sad reality of social standards of presentation, expression and behavior. Try as they do, becoming invisible just doesn't happen.

Some ignore the signs and simply plow ahead in their life, and many find acceptance and support, but it almost always comes with a cost and a price. It's always work convincing people you're real and really who you know you are. And some just forget even trying and just try to live quietly without the hassles.

What's even sadder is that the transcommunity doesn't help them outside of using them. While facing the world with all the problems of being visible, the transcommunity uses them to show the problems of being visible, adding insult to injury. When they need the help to become invisible, they get used for being visible.

And the transcommunity wonders why post-transistion women become invisible and walk, if not run, away from the words and even the community, and criticizes those who do for being invisible. They expect them to become visible and be used. Like that helps their life and work? To relive what they want to forget?

It's why becoming invisible is so important in the lives of post-transistion women. Just to be themselves as we all are and do. And without the fear of what Satchel Page said, "Don't look back, something may be gaining on you." Or in their case, someone in the form of the transcommunity.

Transgender activists

They come in all flavors. They espouse the whole gamut of views and opinions. And they say they represent the "transgender community." All different, except in one aspect they're all the same. They're all overly sensitive to criticism, intolerant of alternative or opposing ideas and especially opinions, loud and demanding not just to be heard but to be heard over the crowd and by everyone.

And worst of all, they won't listen in return, they only talk or write louder to overwhelm other voices. They simply want you to listen and agree, silently. No words, or even a peep from you. Just nod in agreement to show them they're right and they're smarter than anyone else in the room.

What's the beef here then? Well, in one recent court case a Wisconsin judge overruled a law prohibiting Sex Reasignment Surgery (SRS) for inmates diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder, meaning transsexual inmates can't get this surgery paid by the Department of Corrections, or really the taxpayers. I don't have a problem with the law but with the judge and his decision.

Why, especially when it's a treatable condition and the surgery is one, and usually the final, step in the process to transistion from male to female? Because SRS isn't covered by any other state program there, not covered by the health insurance companies there, and only covered by a very few employers there. Why should it be a freebie at taxpayers' expense when they don't pay for SRS for ordinary people?

I'm for SRS being covered by health insurance. And a few do, but it's not mandatory by the federal or any state government in their healthcare insurance regulations. And if anyone needs SRS which is the transistioning women to complete the process to live as whole and complete women and be legally female, they deserve it first and foremost and well before felons and inmates.

You see all the ordinary transwomen struggle to live and work, and finding ways to pay for the cost of SRS. We're not talking a cheap surgery here. It's $15-20K in the US, not including travel and other expenses outside the clinic or hospital. It's more in Europe but cheaper in Asia, usually Thailand, but then the travel and other expenses are far higher offsetting the total cost to be about the same.

But you can't make this argument to transgender activists. They only believe anything is better, even when it's not right or fair. Just progress is ok with them, even when it's ethically and morally wrong, let alone financially unwise. There are far better ways to spend money on inmates than SRS for the handful of transgender women in prisons.

Why should the many transwomen who can't afford it not be able to access program to help pay for something identified in the DSM as a mental condition when inmates can get it free, and then avail themselves to the other free services to change their birth certificates for their sex. They could go in man and come out women, all paid by the taxpayers.

And people are supposed to say it's ok? And they'll write the checks?

Sorry, I'm for the surgery for those wanting or needing it but there has to be some sense of priority who gets it and who pays for it. But I'm not sorry or am I for what ever advances the progress for transgender people at any price or cost, especially when it's paid by others not in the transgender community.

This is one of the many views I differ with members of the transgender community, and especially the activists. They lose touch of the greater world which we all live in and must abide by for the beterment of all. The common good as they say. Transgender activists seem to lose that view.

And worse when you voice your view, as an alternative, in opposition, as questions, or however, you get verbally pummelled into submission. And if you don't submit, your ignored or worse removed from the discussion, as I have been excommunicated from forums and my responses not approved or removed.

But it doesn't or won't silence me. As in my rules for this blog, it's mine, not yours. Censor me on yours and I'll do likewise here. I want civil conversation with open ears, mind and voices, especially with humor and a smile. That's what's missing from transactivists, realism and humor. And I'll keep poking at that too.