Change and surgery

I was reading some of the news about Chaz (formerly Chasity) Bono's transistion from a woman to a man, and noticed almost all the news media got it wrong, very wrong. And when Mara Keisling, NCTE director, conducted an interview with CNN, she tried to correct the information but really dug a deeper whole for many in the transcommunity. While she was close to factually correct (some facts were underreported), she didn't seem to convey the message.

The point she seemed to want and did make was that when someone transistions from either gender to the other, surgery are options for them, and it totally depends on them, the necessity for surgery, their medical approval for surgery, their healthcare insurance and finances - especially the latter since many insurance companies don't cover the surgery, and their personal interest to be whole and complete, and fully legally recognized, in their life in the other gender.

This is one of the contradictions with transistions. To legally change one's birth certificate in the US from one sex to the other, all states require sex reassignment surgery (SRS) for male-to-female but not female-to-male. I've never found a good explanation for this except that the latter is extensive and invasive surgery and expensive, clearly off the radar for many transmen. The law only requires the letters proving living for a minimum period as male with the history of hormones.

But for transwomen, surgery is a legal necessity and for most it's what they want, the problem is affording it. When it costs $8-10K for overseas surgeries and twice that in the US and Canada, it's not hard to understand why Ms. Kiesling's comment was off. The numbers support that while most don't have surgery, the numbers who do is large, which means there are far more transpeople than people think.

And this last point is one of the issues in the transcommunity, is surgery necessary to be be a complete and whole woman? And the responses are always interesting and often self-contradictory. That's because most transwomen will swear the surgery isn't necessary to be a whole and complete woman, but then after their surgery will say it's all about the surgery, meaning having a vagina is part of the experience of being a whole and complete woman.

There are many, some say most, that surgery isn't necessary even if it was available and/or affordable. But they find it difficult to argue against the question, how many genetically-born female women would want a penis and testicles in place of their vagina. It's the rhetorical question in the room and puts the non-surgery transwomen left being and feeling different from those who want the surgery. And while many of those can't afford it or it isn't available, it doesn't change the contradiction in the comment about non-surgical tranwomen.

What's also interesting with the media about Chaz is the wholesale acceptance of him by the media. The media will degrade, demean and dehumanize almost all the other transpeople. That's ok in their eyes and normal. That's what angering about the events over Chaz. She's now between the proverbial rock and a hard place because if she wants, as she says, her privacy with the transistion, she'll anger the community for not being a good public spokesperson.

And if she becomes a spokesperson, she'll lose her privacy, time and really her life. It's the catch-22 that many public profile transpeople have to deal with, be out and public or be criticized by the transcommunity. Those who have been through it eventually fade into a low level of public participation, but it never goes away. It becomes their public identity that's never lost or forgotten.

It will be interesting over the months to a few years how much Chaz does and how much he can change the public perception of transpeople. It's hope she does what a few have done and not what many transmen in the past have done, which is become men and disavow the transcommunity, especially transwomen. Some simply decide to join the mainstream and disappear, often not even recognizing or identifying their history.

This is the usual goal of transwomen, to mainstream and become invisible. Many do and chose to walk away from the community. That's the normal reaction, but for many it's impossible and they're obviousness can't be hidden. It's the reality of many transwomen. Almost all transmen, however, can transistion to become invisible, and seen as just men. The transistion with hormones changes everything imaginable about their bodies and their minds. It's like they were born male.

And while many transmen become invisible, most simply decide not just to stay invisible, but simply not even speak up, even in the face of criticism and worse words about transpeople. They decide to just watch and allow it to happen. Chaz, as other transmen have, can change that, even in the smallest way. To show both transmen and transwomen are normal people with the same normal issues and struggles in life.

So, I raise a glass to him and what he can do. Now, will he do that?

Dear President

Dear President Obama,

After reading the latest news from the Justice Department supporting the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) of 1996 in a lawsuit trying to overturn it, and after hearing you espouse a political view that the DOMA should be repealed, I find your hypocrisy on the issue not just troublesome, meaning you were simply politically posturing about your view during the campaign and then said the marriage is between a man and a woman, but appalling.

You courted the LGBT voters for your expressed view against DOMA, and now you sit silently letting others do your bidding for what you really believe and mean, and the LGBT community is left holding the empty poliitical promise bag. No November 11th president-elect treats for them, just the trick of hiding the truth. At best you were less than truthful, and at worst, you lied. Which is it?

Yes, we know the political game during campaigns. You've managed to lose a lot of promises in your term as president, but this one sticks in the throat more than any. You don't really believe in equal rights and protections for all Americans when it comes to marriage, and you certainly don't believe in gender neutral marriage you said was ok with you. But that was then and this is now.

So you let the Department of Justice to leak the truth. All you have to do is say you won't seek to block the lawsuit and you won't oppose if it goes forward. Let the justice system work. But you know you won't because you'll lose the center-right votes supporting unequal marriage.

And you certainly won't ask Congress for a bill to repeal DOMA, only that you would support one and just maybe sign one. Yeah, right. we've heard that promise from you before. And now we know it's political bullshit. You know DOMA nullifies any equal rights marriage law any state has or is proposing. This gives you the out to say it's a state's issue while leaving DOMA in tact to protect your political ass.

Now we know the truth and reality of you and about you. You're anti-LGBT rights and protections unless the overwhelming wave of Congress threatens to inundate you, and you'll suddenly turn the boat and go with it than turn to go against it. You're no different than any other politician who's occupied your chair there.

And we thought you were different. But now we know better. And once lost, trust is harder to rebuild. Trust me, I know. Mine in you has long burned to the ground and won't be rebuilt anytime soon.

Back of the Bus

Welcome transpeople. And by the way, please use the rear entrance and exit and move to the back of the bus. The LGB movement really doesn't want the "t" people interfering with their fight for legal protections and rights. To them "t" people just impede the progress and interfer with the process for turning legislation into law.

I mean just transpeople. Not the other transpeople often described as transgender under the umbrella term, but those who transistion to be physicially and legally the sex and gender they identify as, meaning (trans)women and (trans)men. These people go follow the medically prescribed proceedures and the legally defined process to become legall female or male from their opposite birth sex.

The rest of the transgroup, the drag queens, transvestities, cross-dresser, transsexuals (ie. non-op), and gender queer people, don't want the other transpeople messing up their world, so they push them to the back of the bus, and if they could, out the back door, to leave them at the bus stop standing alone.

Too tough? Ok, maybe, but reading the last few years of news about adding protections for transpeople, it's clear the LGB folks and the elected reprsentatives, like Barney Frank, don't really want to touch the issue of adding transpeople to the hate crime legislation and especially to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). Those bills failed before because of opposition to adding protections for transpeople.

Transpeople are often considered the step-child of LGB's because they're not the same. LGB is about sexual orientation. Trans is about gender identification. And while real transpeople transistion to live as their identified gender, more non-transpeople have use the transgender umbrella term to attach themselves to being "one of them" for the medical protection when it doesn't apply (read the DSM, cross-dressing isn't a mental health issue).

They're not really transgender. Ok, my opinion. But there is a signficantly distinct difference between a transvestite a cross-dresser and others who identiify as their birth sex but just like to play dressup as the other gender. To them it's fun. They can't identify, and often cringe, at the notion of the medical proceedures to become the other gender. But they like to use the term when they dressup for the medical protection.

There is a big difference to a man playing dressup on weekends calling himself a woman when he's dressed up but doesn't want to be one and a transwoman who does transistion, including the sex/gender change surgery (srs) and legal documents, to live fulltime as one. And while the LGB movement recognizes both, they will support the former because many gay men are drag queens, transvestites and cross-dressers for work or pleasure.

But gay men don't want to recognize those born male but identify as female (it's becoming a known biological condition of birth) and transistion, especially giving up the one thing gay men love the most, their penis. Transwomen want a vagina to be complete and whole as women. While some don't have or elect not to have srs for various reasons, they're can't be legally recognized as female, they're still legally male and men.

But the gay men will still accept them because it's ok they keep their penis. And it's why the LGB folks will not really support or pursue adding transpeople to "their" legislation. And it's also why the transpeople are better off getting rights and protection under the Civil Rights Act as happened in the Diane Schoer case.

Simply put the trans folks should do what happened to them, jettison the rest of the transgender folks and follow their own course. Build, drive and carry their own bus to and for their freedom. This is what former Senator Bill Bradley recommended yes ago. Simply put all the LGB and T rights and protections in the Civil Rights Act.

Then everyone rides the same bus and sits anywhere they want, just like everyone else in this country. And the LGB community can't discriminate against transpeople without facing legal action. Transpeople can't simply walk away into the real world of people.