Becoming Invisible

The goal of many, and some say most, in and post-transistion women is to become invisible in their life and work, as women, and to let the label of their past and transistion fade into the distance of time. This is accomplished by many when they're recognized as women, and nothing is in the words, and any public announcements or notices, about their former sex (not gender as they've always self-identified as female).

As they say, they arrived, if only for a moment, but it's like cresting a hill and on the way down you lose all sight of the valley you left behind. It's simply becomes a memory, always there and ready to become visible if the situation or circumstances happen. But then you'll be long over any stress of the, "What if they find out.", and will simply say, "Ok, and?"

It's also the bane of the transcommunity when this happens. Not just when the vast majority escape the transcommunity shortly after finishing their transistion, meaning getting their documents changed, but when your past isn't even in the discussion in your life and work. They simply are women.

The transcommunity sells this as the goal of transistioning women, but also harbor the silent, and sometimes not so silent, wish, post-transistion women hang around the transcommunity. Some do because they have little choice, it's their public identity, not by choice but circumstances. And some do by choice.

And some really less by choice than reality. For a variety of reasons some simply find it hard to assimilate into the world of women, usually they don't pass well enough to become physically invisible. It's the sad reality of social standards of presentation, expression and behavior. Try as they do, becoming invisible just doesn't happen.

Some ignore the signs and simply plow ahead in their life, and many find acceptance and support, but it almost always comes with a cost and a price. It's always work convincing people you're real and really who you know you are. And some just forget even trying and just try to live quietly without the hassles.

What's even sadder is that the transcommunity doesn't help them outside of using them. While facing the world with all the problems of being visible, the transcommunity uses them to show the problems of being visible, adding insult to injury. When they need the help to become invisible, they get used for being visible.

And the transcommunity wonders why post-transistion women become invisible and walk, if not run, away from the words and even the community, and criticizes those who do for being invisible. They expect them to become visible and be used. Like that helps their life and work? To relive what they want to forget?

It's why becoming invisible is so important in the lives of post-transistion women. Just to be themselves as we all are and do. And without the fear of what Satchel Page said, "Don't look back, something may be gaining on you." Or in their case, someone in the form of the transcommunity.