Tuesday, May 29, 2012
The Hardest Step
The hardest step a transwoman will make in her transition is the one out the front door. You become visible and everything changes. For the rest of your life.
Why
Why do men only think about two things when they see very passable or even beautiful transwomen? All they think about is either fucking them or beating the shit out of them. What happened to knowing them, respecting them and maybe just being friends?
Oh, I forgot, that's what they also think about women. Nothing different, just more hate when comes to transwomen, enough to want to kill them with their dick or their fists, but then that's all many men use to think with when it's comes to women.
And men blame women for this? For their own hate, anger and rage? I forgot, again, they don't think. That's the problem.
Oh, I forgot, that's what they also think about women. Nothing different, just more hate when comes to transwomen, enough to want to kill them with their dick or their fists, but then that's all many men use to think with when it's comes to women.
And men blame women for this? For their own hate, anger and rage? I forgot, again, they don't think. That's the problem.
What I Really Hate
What I really hate is people who express an opinion about children who undergo hormone blockers after being diagnosed with Gender Identity Dyphoria (GID), noting it's a physical or mental disease or illness and not a physical condition the body is incongruent with the mind. These people most often use religious or moral reasons against the parents who love, support and help their child make their own decisions.
That's because, which is the basis of their arguments against children undergoing transition, children do actually know if they are a boy, a girl or a combination of the two. Much against these people, with respect to identifying their gender, it's not something their confused about, it's the world which doesn't understand them that is their confusion.
As studies have shown, children are very good at knowing who they fundamentally are. They are not blank slates with their gender identity. Some will express themselves as a combination of the boy and girl which people often confuse as the child's uncertainity, but it's really the parents uncertainty. The children are fine, just let them be themselves.
As studies have also shown, and the opponents use as arguments or professionals use to suggest reparative therapy, is that children do know the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. They don't fully understand it since sexual orientation is felt in puberty and recognized in the teen years. GID is recognized and expressed very early in life, most often between 3 and 6 years.
And this is what I hate, people assume the birth sex is both the body and mind sex and therefore fixed and unchangeable. How wrong they are. Nature isn't that absolute. What they see are themselves as with most people the body and mind are in agreement with the genetic and birth sex, so therefore, in their thinking, everyone must be the same. How wrong they are.
And this is also what I hate. The may show surficial compassion but when you listen to them or read their words, there is no compassion, only disdain and sometimes even hate. Hate for the child for knowing who they are, against the norms, and want to live as they know they are, and hate for the parent for their love, support and help for their child.
They talk understanding but express intolerance. They talk about sympathy but express hate. The talk God and the Bible, but they express what God would condemn and the Bible doesn't say. They talk faith but express discrimination. They talk christian values but express nonchristian values.
If they would step back and listen to anyone who has transitioned, they would see how wrong they are. All who transition know it was first recognized early in life, and it was only their family which either supported them or hated them, which taught them they're loved or hated for being themselves.
If they would step back and listen they would see their reasons are false, like a prophet who sells lies to people who want to believe lies to hate people different than themselves.
That's because, which is the basis of their arguments against children undergoing transition, children do actually know if they are a boy, a girl or a combination of the two. Much against these people, with respect to identifying their gender, it's not something their confused about, it's the world which doesn't understand them that is their confusion.
As studies have shown, children are very good at knowing who they fundamentally are. They are not blank slates with their gender identity. Some will express themselves as a combination of the boy and girl which people often confuse as the child's uncertainity, but it's really the parents uncertainty. The children are fine, just let them be themselves.
As studies have also shown, and the opponents use as arguments or professionals use to suggest reparative therapy, is that children do know the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. They don't fully understand it since sexual orientation is felt in puberty and recognized in the teen years. GID is recognized and expressed very early in life, most often between 3 and 6 years.
And this is what I hate, people assume the birth sex is both the body and mind sex and therefore fixed and unchangeable. How wrong they are. Nature isn't that absolute. What they see are themselves as with most people the body and mind are in agreement with the genetic and birth sex, so therefore, in their thinking, everyone must be the same. How wrong they are.
And this is also what I hate. The may show surficial compassion but when you listen to them or read their words, there is no compassion, only disdain and sometimes even hate. Hate for the child for knowing who they are, against the norms, and want to live as they know they are, and hate for the parent for their love, support and help for their child.
They talk understanding but express intolerance. They talk about sympathy but express hate. The talk God and the Bible, but they express what God would condemn and the Bible doesn't say. They talk faith but express discrimination. They talk christian values but express nonchristian values.
If they would step back and listen to anyone who has transitioned, they would see how wrong they are. All who transition know it was first recognized early in life, and it was only their family which either supported them or hated them, which taught them they're loved or hated for being themselves.
If they would step back and listen they would see their reasons are false, like a prophet who sells lies to people who want to believe lies to hate people different than themselves.
Passing
Well, it's a word, yes, and often mistaking the user's meaning with the listener's or reader's interpretation. It's all relative to the subject, not necessarily at hand, but in minds. It's easy to clarify a word in a discussion but it's almost impossible to clarify it in writing if the reader has a different definition or meaning.
The best the writer can do, and hope, is clarify what they mean and leave to the reader to understand or not, and why it is this relevant here. The word passing could be about letting time pass between my last post and today's posts, which means I've been remiss in writing entries.
It's not that I haven't had ideas to write or have written drafts, it's just I've learned not to enter a debate in the transcommunity. It's a losing proposition as everyone tends to talk and few listen and then some tend to shout when they're angry their view isn't the topic of the discussion.
So I write and then delete responses in forums and save posts in drafts here which pile up like old firewood in the backyard after they're not needed when summer comes, left to the spiders, rodents and other small critters to play and feast. Much the same with the drafts, they collect mental dust of lost thoughts.
Anyway, someone who's blog is interesting has proved the very point people, especially transpeople, make about anyone's transition. It's about passing. It's easier for a female to transition to a man because the effects of testosterone are dramatic, and with some exercise and they're very much seen and heard as men.
For male to transition to a women is a whole lot harder, in part if they don't transition early in life, especially in their teens or early 20's, then the same effects of testosterone are permanent and irrevsible. Youth is wonderful for many to transition as the effects of HRT changes things far more than older people, especially after their 40's.
So the point? There are lots of debates on the merits of passing, being invisible as a woman and apparently female, but it all depends on genetics and three things, which are the three people use to judge the sex and gender of people. It's human nature to know who's a man and who's a woman.
The three things used in the judgement, as studies have shown are done in seconds to a minute or so, in order are face, voice and body. The rest are behavior and clothes, the external reflection of the person's personality about themselves and their style. But the first three, as they say, "make the sale" to pass as a woman.
You can get some of the way there with andrognous face, voice and body, but not very far if you don't, the proverbial "man in a dress" syndrome many in-transition and some post-transition people experience, and why they don't recommend some transition. You can be privately happy but rarely publically or socially acceptable and happy.
A note in passing is that public and social acceptance is often assumed when it's simply people being publically polite and nice, and privately hold and express far different views. It's why many stores accommadate transpeople because it's about money, not people, and being polite helps.
But on the other side, this where age, especially older people, helps as women age and often look andrognous or even somewhat male and overlap into the look of older transwomen. But the voice and body will still often tell a different story all the clothes and feminine behavior still can't hide or disguise. It's your reality.
This is where passing has another interpretation, the Real Life Experience (RLE), the one-year (longer in some countries) test therapists impose for the letter for your sex affirmation (or reassignment) surgery - I personally affirmation. In reality, argue all you want about the RLE, it wasn't proven to be useful and was a compromise between the therapist who wanted a 2-3 years and some wanted no test.
The RLE is a failure as measure of anything because transwomen will simply play the game and live through it to get the letter. It doesn't teach anything they wouldn't learn if they had the surgery first, and it's proven to be worse because of the problems it causes those in transition with mixed documents and using the right bathroom. The genitalia thing people use to distinguish who goes where.
In short, it's a sham perpetuated by the medical community for control of people's transition. Nothing more, just power. Some argue the RLE teaches those who don't pass not to transition, but the fact remains those who don't pass, know it and don't care. They want the letter for the surgery and will do anything to get it.
And the truth remains removing the RLE won't change anything for those who want to transition, only for the few who have doubts and where something like the RLE might help, but then often only reinforces their decision is right. The very few who later regret it is par for the course as some always have doubts about anything they do.
It's not the transition, it's the person. They hate being male and living as men and find living as a woman has its realities they don't like. It's their personality that's issue, not their gender identity, and the RLE only works to show that, not if they should transition, but their own lack of confidence about it.
That's because there have been some transwomen who easily passed and transitioned, even being completely stealth, and still have feelings of doubt. That's not gender identity issues, but personal and personality issues. The RLE doesn't help there, and the therapy shouldn't focus on their gender but the feelings.
Anyway, just some thoughts in passing, or the word passing in all its many flavors and expressions.
The best the writer can do, and hope, is clarify what they mean and leave to the reader to understand or not, and why it is this relevant here. The word passing could be about letting time pass between my last post and today's posts, which means I've been remiss in writing entries.
It's not that I haven't had ideas to write or have written drafts, it's just I've learned not to enter a debate in the transcommunity. It's a losing proposition as everyone tends to talk and few listen and then some tend to shout when they're angry their view isn't the topic of the discussion.
So I write and then delete responses in forums and save posts in drafts here which pile up like old firewood in the backyard after they're not needed when summer comes, left to the spiders, rodents and other small critters to play and feast. Much the same with the drafts, they collect mental dust of lost thoughts.
Anyway, someone who's blog is interesting has proved the very point people, especially transpeople, make about anyone's transition. It's about passing. It's easier for a female to transition to a man because the effects of testosterone are dramatic, and with some exercise and they're very much seen and heard as men.
For male to transition to a women is a whole lot harder, in part if they don't transition early in life, especially in their teens or early 20's, then the same effects of testosterone are permanent and irrevsible. Youth is wonderful for many to transition as the effects of HRT changes things far more than older people, especially after their 40's.
So the point? There are lots of debates on the merits of passing, being invisible as a woman and apparently female, but it all depends on genetics and three things, which are the three people use to judge the sex and gender of people. It's human nature to know who's a man and who's a woman.
The three things used in the judgement, as studies have shown are done in seconds to a minute or so, in order are face, voice and body. The rest are behavior and clothes, the external reflection of the person's personality about themselves and their style. But the first three, as they say, "make the sale" to pass as a woman.
You can get some of the way there with andrognous face, voice and body, but not very far if you don't, the proverbial "man in a dress" syndrome many in-transition and some post-transition people experience, and why they don't recommend some transition. You can be privately happy but rarely publically or socially acceptable and happy.
A note in passing is that public and social acceptance is often assumed when it's simply people being publically polite and nice, and privately hold and express far different views. It's why many stores accommadate transpeople because it's about money, not people, and being polite helps.
But on the other side, this where age, especially older people, helps as women age and often look andrognous or even somewhat male and overlap into the look of older transwomen. But the voice and body will still often tell a different story all the clothes and feminine behavior still can't hide or disguise. It's your reality.
This is where passing has another interpretation, the Real Life Experience (RLE), the one-year (longer in some countries) test therapists impose for the letter for your sex affirmation (or reassignment) surgery - I personally affirmation. In reality, argue all you want about the RLE, it wasn't proven to be useful and was a compromise between the therapist who wanted a 2-3 years and some wanted no test.
The RLE is a failure as measure of anything because transwomen will simply play the game and live through it to get the letter. It doesn't teach anything they wouldn't learn if they had the surgery first, and it's proven to be worse because of the problems it causes those in transition with mixed documents and using the right bathroom. The genitalia thing people use to distinguish who goes where.
In short, it's a sham perpetuated by the medical community for control of people's transition. Nothing more, just power. Some argue the RLE teaches those who don't pass not to transition, but the fact remains those who don't pass, know it and don't care. They want the letter for the surgery and will do anything to get it.
And the truth remains removing the RLE won't change anything for those who want to transition, only for the few who have doubts and where something like the RLE might help, but then often only reinforces their decision is right. The very few who later regret it is par for the course as some always have doubts about anything they do.
It's not the transition, it's the person. They hate being male and living as men and find living as a woman has its realities they don't like. It's their personality that's issue, not their gender identity, and the RLE only works to show that, not if they should transition, but their own lack of confidence about it.
That's because there have been some transwomen who easily passed and transitioned, even being completely stealth, and still have feelings of doubt. That's not gender identity issues, but personal and personality issues. The RLE doesn't help there, and the therapy shouldn't focus on their gender but the feelings.
Anyway, just some thoughts in passing, or the word passing in all its many flavors and expressions.
The Problem
The problem with women is that they can become pregnant. The problem with transwomen is that they can't become pregnant. The real problem is that both can get a sexuall transmitted disease when they're raped, and worse still, women will likely be beaten and transwomen will likely be killed, just for being women. The problem isn't women, but men who violate them.
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