Passing

Well, it's a word, yes, and often mistaking the user's meaning with the listener's or reader's interpretation. It's all relative to the subject, not necessarily at hand, but in minds. It's easy to clarify a word in a discussion but it's almost impossible to clarify it in writing if the reader has a different definition or meaning.

The best the writer can do, and hope, is clarify what they mean and leave to the reader to understand or not, and why it is this relevant here. The word passing could be about letting time pass between my last post and today's posts, which means I've been remiss in writing entries.

It's not that I haven't had ideas to write or have written drafts, it's just I've learned not to enter a debate in the transcommunity. It's a losing proposition as everyone tends to talk and few listen and then some tend to shout when they're angry their view isn't the topic of the discussion.

So I write and then delete responses in forums and save posts in drafts here which pile up like old firewood in the backyard after they're not needed when summer comes, left to the spiders, rodents and other small critters to play and feast. Much the same with the drafts, they collect mental dust of lost thoughts.

Anyway, someone who's blog is interesting has proved the very point people, especially transpeople, make about anyone's transition. It's about passing. It's easier for a female to transition to a man because the effects of testosterone are dramatic, and with some exercise and they're very much seen and heard as men.

For male to transition to a women is a whole lot harder, in part if they don't transition early in life, especially in their teens or early 20's, then the same effects of testosterone are permanent and irrevsible. Youth is wonderful for many to transition as the effects of HRT changes things far more than older people, especially after their 40's.

So the point? There are lots of debates on the merits of passing, being invisible as a woman and apparently female, but it all depends on genetics and three things, which are the three people use to judge the sex and gender of people. It's human nature to know who's a man and who's a woman.

The three things used in the judgement, as studies have shown are done in seconds to a minute or so, in order are face, voice and body. The rest are behavior and clothes, the external reflection of the person's personality about themselves and their style. But the first three, as they say, "make the sale" to pass as a woman.

You can get some of the way there with andrognous face, voice and body, but not very far if you don't, the proverbial "man in a dress" syndrome many in-transition and some post-transition people experience, and why they don't recommend some transition. You can be privately happy but rarely publically or socially acceptable and happy.

A note in passing is that public and social acceptance is often assumed when it's simply people being publically polite and nice, and privately hold and express far different views. It's why many stores accommadate transpeople because it's about money, not people, and being polite helps.

But on the other side, this where age, especially older people, helps as women age and often look andrognous or even somewhat male and overlap into the look of older transwomen. But the voice and body will still often tell a different story all the clothes and feminine behavior still can't hide or disguise. It's your reality.

This is where passing has another interpretation, the Real Life Experience (RLE), the one-year (longer in some countries) test therapists impose for the letter for your sex affirmation (or reassignment) surgery - I personally affirmation. In reality, argue all you want about the RLE, it wasn't proven to be useful and was a compromise between the therapist who wanted a 2-3 years and some wanted no test.

The RLE is a failure as measure of anything because transwomen will simply play the game and live through it to get the letter. It doesn't teach anything they wouldn't learn if they had the surgery first, and it's proven to be worse because of the problems it causes those in transition with mixed documents and using the right bathroom. The genitalia thing people use to distinguish who goes where.

In short, it's a sham perpetuated by the medical community for control of people's transition. Nothing more, just power. Some argue the RLE teaches those who don't pass not to transition, but the fact remains those who don't pass, know it and don't care. They want the letter for the surgery and will do anything to get it.

And the truth remains removing the RLE won't change anything for those who want to transition, only for the few who have doubts and where something like the RLE might help, but then often only reinforces their decision is right. The very few who later regret it is par for the course as some always have doubts about anything they do.

It's not the transition, it's the person. They hate being male and living as men and find living as a woman has its realities they don't like. It's their personality that's issue, not their gender identity, and the RLE only works to show that, not if they should transition, but their own lack of confidence about it.

That's because there have been some transwomen who easily passed and transitioned, even being completely stealth, and still have feelings of doubt. That's not gender identity issues, but personal and personality issues. The RLE doesn't help there, and the therapy shouldn't focus on their gender but the feelings.

Anyway, just some thoughts in passing, or the word passing in all its many flavors and expressions.