What women assume

What women assume about their bodies, male to female transwomen must learn. That's probably the hardest thing for (genetic) women to understand what transwomen (in and post transistion women) have to relearn about their bodies and mind. During a transistion, hormone replacement therapy (hrt) and sex reassignment surgery - vaginoplasty (srs) changes everything. It's like going through puberty and menopause simultaneously in 2-3 years.

Women know what that would do physically and mentally and fortunately find 40 years between them to be their saving grace. But transwomen don't have that luxury, they already recognize and identify as female and women and want to transistion to physically be and live as women. It's who they are and what they go through to get congruence between the mind and body.

But many women just don't see and often wonder, some criticizing, transwomen for the whole array of issues, from just being trans to going through some periods which they knew years ago as girls. When you're older, becoming a girl and a meneopausal woman at the same time isn't often fun. Sometimes, you're a mental and emotional mess, but you plod through and get on with life.

And once you're through, you can be who you are, simply a woman and as female as medically possible today. You're not trans anything. You're still yourself of old, we all have histories. But they're now just one of many women in the world. And why that's hard to understand escapes me as transwomen aren't trying to change anything or stand up to force some issue.

They're just tryiing to get through life and work. And while women can and usually are gracious (ok, most women) with other women about what they go through, why can't they find the same graciousness with transwomen? And post-transistion women face many of the same health issues and risks, their bodies adapt to some of their family's history with women.

Even though women assume what they've learned over their life physically as girls and then women, it's all brand new to transwomen. While it's not the same, it's very similar. Female hormones have the same effect on the body and mind of both, one only has a different starting point from and with their genes.

The sad gift of being born with a body which conflicts with their mind and identity. That's all. And fixable. But with a huge learning curve not just to compress the physical and mental changes of puberty, often on an older (male) body, but also the social changes of living, just being in the world with the rest of us.

I won't ague that all transwomen pass what we normally expect of women, especially physically, but it doesn't change their heart and mind. They have to live with it and try. The rest, those who does pass, seems to escape the same judgement and criticism because we don't know. So what's the difference with just accepting all of them?

Even though we accept women who aren't the norm, but being born women, we give them the grace to be different. We don't condemn all women when we don't like a few. But some, and even women, do for the obvious transwomen. They assume the few are the all, and nothing could be further from the truth as the vast majority of transwomen pass and never discovered.

But they all go through the same process, the transistion, with all it's issues and problems. Ones women assume as normal and natural. But to transwomen, it's all brand new and need of help and support from women to understand and live with. Is it so hard you can't share and be a friend?

Both learn, the transwomen to just be women and women to have a new friend and renew what they already know. And you might even be surprised to learn something new about yourself too.