It escapes me

The studies show the first thing people look at and check when meeting someone new, or just watchiing people for that matter, is the face, followed by their facial expressions. The second, if they can, is the voice. And the rest are the overall person or body, their presentation, their expressions and behavior, and so on down the line.

It's human nature, and in spite of what we eventually like about them, we all follow this general pattern when we look at people. And as the studies have shown, it's down quickly and almost conclusively where it's difficult to change their initial impression. Hard as we may try, it's already done and the best we can do is make them rethink it.

So, do transwomen (I'll use this to dentote those in transistion), and post-transistion women (for legally recognized women who have finished and have had SRS and their documents changed) not know this? How many times have you seen one (either) and knew instantly they weren't female (by birth)? And how long did it take you to then identify them as former trans or post-trans (since you can't tell the difference from the outside)?

This is the argument the transcommunity makes about passing and the old issue, those who pass disappear into society away from the transcommunity, except those publically out or known. Those who don't are stuck. But they don't have to be stuck in some ways. It's called cosmetic facial surgery and there are quite a number of surgeons who will change the masculine facial feature to feminine features.

It's why some in the transcommunity will tell any transwoman and especially all post-transistion women, to get the facial surgery first if you can afford. It's about the impression and passing. You can and will get SRS later. Pretty straight-forward and good advice. So why do so many don't heed it when they can afford it?

This is what escapes me. When you're obvious, all the makeup, hair and clothes won't hide it. You can't do much about the voice, only good voice therapy works if at all, but you can do a lot about the face. I'm not talking pretty or better, but at least something plain or ordinary.

I know the answer. All transwomen want to get to their SRS and get their documents changed to be officiallly "female" and get on with their life. Except when they don't pass enough to get past the first impression, what good is it? Yes, I know they want to be and live as women, and they get there. But if it makes life harder because people see you differently as you present yourself, what's so good about it?

Even some of famous post-transistion women will tell you about your transistion, "Get facial surgery!" It overcomes 90% of the initial problems in life. If they see the face, they'll pretty much be more receptive and accepting of you as a woman than seeing a male face in female attire. That's the proverbial "man in a dress" they constantly argue about and what the public sees.

And that hurts other transwomen and post-transition women who don't pass enough. And it's why 90% of the post-transistion women, those who pass, run away from the term trans-anything and the transcommunity as fast as they can. They are and live as women, nothing else. They've long earned and deserve it.

So, it's always a "Duh?" moment when I see a transwoman and especially a post-transistion woman with a male or male-like face. They were rich enough to get through their transistion (since few health insurance plans cover much if anything with one), why didn't they spend $10-15K for facial surgery to help? It escapes me.

It's almost like they want to be separate from women, they don't want to disappear from the identity, and they want the label transwoman. I know it's not true, but it certainly appears either that way to me, that they're not being honest with themselves about their looks or their being blind about it. Overly critical, yes, I know, but I just don't see it.

And it's why it always escapes me.