I was wandering around the Internet, like we all do, and stumbled on an essay by Autumn Sandeen entitled, "The Closet Kills and a response by Helen Boyd, the author of books about her spouse. And I have some arguements with Autumn (who posted a comment here on one of my posts about Amanda Simpson).
She points out, but not in her writing but in her existence and identity, that she is a transwoman, or a transgender women, which ever fits your definition. This is exactly what she demonstrates is wrong with the transcommunity, and it's why the vast majority of post-transitions (legally recognized) women leave the community, if they ever were involved. They don't subscribe to that perspective about being.
The are as stealth as possible today, which isn't entirely possible and not guarranteed in the future, and they simply live their life as women in the world of women and the larger world of family, life, work, etc. They have earned and deserved that stealthness to ensure their privacy, security and safety, much of which Autumn seems to argue against and which she is wrong. Which is why I wrote the essay just before this one about transactivists.
They espouse a view that they think fits, or should fit, everyone, and in many cases, they do it out of choice or necessity. Choice because they could be stealth and for some situation(s) or circumstance(s) they chose to be out. Necessity because they had no choice as their looks or presentation doesn't pass for what many people think of women. So they're obvious and open to the pitfalls of human nature.
This is in part what some in the transcommunity argue about presentation. Namely the face. It's the first thing people look at when seeing, greeting or meeting you and it's the first thing they use to determine your gender. All in a few seconds. And from their own set of clues learned from their experience. Nothing we can change, and nothing we can undo. It's human nature.
It's why some in the transcommunity are baffled why some go through their transistion to get SRS (vaginoplasty) and be legally recognized as female but then have difficulty integrating into the world as women because they're not seen as women. Not as men, but obviously different. And then some wonder why they're not readily accepted and why their life is as hard or harder than before or even duing their transistion.
Stealth and closet isn't their public life. And often these are the ones espousing and sometimes shouting what others should be, like them, not stealth or in the closet, but out and even proud to be different. And they wonder why the message isn't followed except by those similar to them. All the ones who could be stealth are stealth, minus the few public ones where work, life or circumstances outed them.
But even then, they espouse a different view, one of being women. And the world doesn't seem to worry because they appear and present themselves as women, forgetting they're mentally, emotionally and spiritually women, only their past is different. They get through life as women because they fall in the range of normal women we recognize.
And in return, those, like Autumn, who are out and I'm assuming proud, argue their view against stealth and closet. To all the (trans)women who don't want to listen because it's not their life and world, they say they're not true to the greater community of transwomen, except they don't see themselves as transwomen, just women. Something Autumn seems to intentionally be blind or ignorant with in her view.
And in the end, she only goes to confirm in those who are stealth, and many in the closet, why they are stealth and not like her. While Autumn stands on her soapbox to espouse her view to the world, they just walk quietly getting on with their life.
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You're misrepresenting my view, as I expressed it even in that article. I actually stated in the piece of mine you reference:
ReplyDeleteThere are many good reasons for transsexuals to live more stealthy existences than I do. One set of reasons has to do with living free of harassment discrimination -- If one is known to be of cross-sexual history, then one is more likely to experience harassment and discrimination in one's day-to-day life. Another set of reasons has to do with being portrayed as either "pathetic" or "deceptive" -- Read the article Skirt Chasers: Why the Media Depicts the Trans Revolution in Lipstick and Heels by Julia Serano to get the take on how those two societal perceptions/depictions of trans people play out in western society.
And...
But even in framing the discussion publicly, Christine never had the opportunity to just be Christine Daniels the sportswriter. Instead, she became Christine Daniels, the transsexual sportswriter who used to be Mike Penner. When I last talked to Christine in December of 2007, she lamented how she could never just be seen as a woman.
Which takes us to stealth. Christine would have no doubt been much happier if she could have lived a stealth life, or at least an lower case "out" life instead of a upper case "OUT" life.
And this is what I said about living out of the closet -- which I defined in the context of the article as something different than what some mean when they say "out of the closet":
...I believe this is what Christine was dealing with in her last months; having a female gender identity, and trying to present herself to the world as male, which she earlier identified to the world as a death sentence for her.
To my peers whose gender identities don't match the sex assigned to them at birth, I say this: live stealth, out, Out, or OUT, but strongly consider living out of the closet -- which is in this context is to say "Live your gender truth by matching your gender expression to your gender identity." Living within the closet, as I've defined the closet within this article, doesn't kill everyone who lives in that closet, but it does kill far too many of us.
I defined what I meant in the article, but you apparently didn't read what I actually said, basing your opinion on what you thought I said. You apparently made the assumption that I was saying that everyone must be out of the closet as trans to the world in a manner similar to the way I do, when that wasn't what I said at all. I specifically said in my article that this was likely a wrong way for Christine to live -- but because she was a famous sportswriter before she transitioned, she became a famous transsexual by default.
People should live the way that works for themselves, not live in some way that others define for them as the right way to live. You get to choose how you live.
I would never want to tell you that I knew the right way for you to transition, or the right way to live your when you completed your transition. I would tell you that you should live your gender truth though, and live that truth in a way that leaves you the best opportunity for a satisfying life.
Christine stopped living her gender truth, and then she stopped living altoether. She completed suicide, no doubt in large part because she was Christine inside, but she reverted living as Mike. Living in that kind of closet of not living one's gender truth is the kind of closet I was saying kills too many of us. And, that's pretty much all I was saying.
Thanks for the response. I'll stand by what I wrote as my view as you stand by yours. Two different views, interpretations and opinions of the same human landscape. And I'll leave it to the reader to weigh them.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, I've read Julia Serano's book and agree with her. But lectures aren't necessary here and definitely not appreciated. Expressing a view to talk with someone, implying both parties listen and think and maybe change a little, is far different than expressing a view at or to someone, implying a response isn't wanted and definitely not appreciated, especially a different one than initially intended.
Human nature, as it is, makes words fluid and interpretations different.