Transition Suggestions

Here are my suggestions if you are starting your transition or even some ways into it but still have some changes to go. These assume you have access to good professional transgender resources found in most cities, but if not then find the nearest city with them.

First, forget the transgender/transsexual community. Don't attend in group meetings and only have a few trans friends you've knownand trust for years. All the rest will either lie to you or hate you for being either passable or successful with your transition.

Second, find a good trans experienced physician and a good trans experienced therapist who have overseen a lot of transitions and focus on the issues of your transition. Walk away from gatekeepers and any professional who judges you before they say they'll help you.

Their goal is to help you get through your transition and on with your life, nothing more. Everything else is just talk you don't need. Both should be knowledgeable with other professionals who are trans friendly to help with what they can't.

Remember with your transition your priorities should be, first, your life; second, your health; third your fitness; and last your transition. It doesn't pay to transition if you wreck the first three. Remember you need a job, some money and necessary resources for and after your transition.

Without them your transition will leave you what you want but not what you need. Fit your transition into the first three and you'll be surprised how easy it can go, or not and you can adjust or adapt your transition, maybe longer but still succeed with your life, health and fitness.

Third, never tell you health insurance company you're transgender or have GID. Have the physician and therapist avoid any trans diagnosis or treatment with any claim. Just treat you like a normal person and you'll be surprised the insurance company won't question the expenses.

Read your health insurance coverage benefits and exclusions. You'll be surprised that they'll cover therapy of a general nature, maybe at higher co-pay but still covered, for non-specific conditions without requiring a diagnosis.

That said, only use GID if you know you have the coverage for transgender care, often called "sex transformation", for therapy, drugs, care, surgeries, etc., but first be very sure. Don't risk letting them know unless they have it written in the policy.

Fourth, find a trans experienced electrologist or laser specialist, preferably the former if you want permanent facial (and other) hair removal but some have success with the latter. They tend to be more understanding.

Fifth, find a trans friendly clothing expert or wardrobe advisor. Don't use any transwomen as examples or go to "transgender" friendly clothing stores, they're too expensive. You'll find many clothing stores, even the upscale and larger ones, understand transwomen.

Sixth, follow women's fashion for your age and style. Don't use transwomen and especially crossdressers as examples for anything fashion. Don't let anyone tell you to buy a lot of clothes to try different things if you don't have the money or the interest, unless you plan to give a lot of clothes away later.

Remember a few good styles and clothes go a long way. Find a style you're comfortable with being you and then explore styles and clothes when you want if you have the extra money. Clothes collecting dust or sitting in the closet only hurts your pocket book.

Seventh, your therapist should know the process for name change, sex/gender marker changes, etc. and legal experts to help you through the process. Don't let them require you pass some sort of test or play dressup for their approval and letters.

Remember you're a woman, not a stereotype, be yourself with your own style. Any good therapist and physician understands diversity to write the letter you need for legalities or surgeries. It's not about how you present yourself, it's about who you are.

Lastly, stay away from the transcommunity at all cost. You'll be living in the world of women, not transwomen. Be a woman like all the rest of them. Just my thoughts and experience. Good luck.