Conundrum

The transgender community has a conumdrum. Like that's new or news to or about them? No, it's not, they're always the stereotuypical walking conumdrum with all their diverse members and issues. But that's another issue. This one is about visibility or really invisibility. I was reading the call by some in the community instead of a Day of Rememberance they hold for all the (trans)people who have been killed by violence against them they proposed a Day of Visibility.

They want all transpeople to become visible for a day. It's about being out and proud versus being stealth and invisible. The reality is, when I do a back of the envelope calculation on the numbers of post-transistion women, the number of public post-transistion women is about 5% of the total number of post-transistion women who aren't. It's the reality that they prefer being invisible and simply going about their lives as women.

And that's the conumdrum facing the transgender community. Post-transistion women aren't transgender, but simply legally recognized females and women, meaning those who have completed the medical process, under the Standards of Care, to be physical women (as much as possible) and the legal proceedures to be legally female (birth certificate and all necessary docments). The last thing they want is to become visible.

So, the conumdrum is that only those who are out and proud become visible. When faced with the potential problems and lack of rights and protections, why would a post-transistion woman become visible? Now the vast majority live with just a handful of friends, family and co-workers knowing their history. So, why step out of the shadow into the light for a day? It doesn't make sense except to those who are out and proud and want more to be like them.

I know or have met post-transistion women in the course of my life. We all have, it's just that we likely didn't know it, because they're not obvious. They're just like any other women you meet, only their past is different. They identify as women and are legally recognized as women, so why would they want to become visible as transgender?

The problem is that the transgender community is a diverse group, which many see ranging from the female impersonators thorugh transvestites, cross-dressers, transexuals, and in-transistion women and men. So why would any woman who has gone through their transistion to life silently and quietly as women want to be recognized as one of them?

It's not that they don't support transgender people, they do. It's just that they don't see reasons to go back in their life, something they left and went through a lot of pain and hurt to get through it. They don't see the need to be visible again, and face all the realities that entails in today's society. They're done and have gone on with their life.

I don't think anyone disagrees with the importance a Day of visibility would do for the transgender community. It would be important. But that said the transgender community hasn't recognized the damage it would do to those who are post-transistion women. The last next they need or want is to be portrayed again as less than women, not because the transgender community won't respect them, but society won't.

Just look at the news stories about transgender people and transsexuals. It's neither pretty or nice. It's why the media mistakenly uses the term transgender to describe post-transistion women, because in their minds and what they think is the readers' minds they want to distinguish genetic women from legally recognized women. It, to them, is about their view of morality of being "normal".

And that's why the vast majority of post-transistion women leave the community and never again identify as trans-anything once they've completed their transistion. They're said, done and gone. And becoming visible again? That's not who they are. They're simply women, and deserve the same in return, only visible as women, nothing more.

And that's the conumdrum the transgender community has, but more importantly it's also the totally mistaken perception they give society about all post-transistion women. So why would these women want to come back to the community and become visible. Some of them didn't have a choice. Their life and work circumstances required being out or they were outed in the press.

And if you listen to them, they don't deny the transgender label, they simply ignore it or use it to describe who they were than who they are. It's about the past. They accept the label from the media, and many do an outstanding job presenting the whole positive side of being formerly transgender men or women. That's the visibily which helps.

And no one doubts if all post-transistion women stood up in America, they would amaze everyone as to the diversity and postive role models they have been as women. But we know that visibility would be lost on the media because it's not a story. The media wants the label as the story, not the people. And that's why they're invisible and will likely remain so.