The Word to Avoid

There is this word. A word which to me is the most divisive and destructive word about people who transition from their birth sex to the sex and gender they know themselves to be. A word which has been used by the medical community, the media and the very community which identifies themselves as being.

If, however, you are talking about yourself, meaning your sense of who you are and your transition, it is a word to avoid at any cost. This is because once you use the word, you hand the rights of the definition, interpretation and use of the word about you to everyone else, from the most complimentry to the most degrading and demeaning.

It is a word that automatically changes the perception of someone when it is used to describe you, as an adjective to your being, and more often than not it automatically distinguishes them from the group you identify with and often excludes you.

And the word? Transgender.

It is a word I hate, not as much as transsexual, but still one I hate. It doesn't do anything for the person other than appease others you have some medical conditon which needs treatment, but it leaves the rest in the mind of the other person whether you have mental disorder or a physical condition.

And while it can be a positive word, it is a double-edge sword which carries both sides, from positive reinforcement of your identity to the most negative, even hateful, reinforcement of you as abnormal. You don't get to decide how the other person uses it about you.

I won't argue the word is there and in common use, and even for a whole community, but it doesn't really begin to describe those who are in transition and distinguish them from others in the community who play at being the other sex or gender. That is where the word belongs, with a community but not with individuals.

What I also hate about it is that society has deemed the word applies to individuals for the rest of your life. It is used to describe and identify legally-recognized (female) women long after they transitioned. They transitioned to be legally women but for all the effort to integrate into that world, they're always separated by that word.

The word has no place in an individual's life. I won't argue they can choose to use for convenience to say, "I'm a transgender woman.", but once said, it never disappears from the mind of others to describe and identify them. Once said, you will always be a transgender woman to them.

And that is why I don't use it or even like it. It is a word to be avoided. It is not you so why use it?