The simple truth is that every transwoman wants one thing as she goes through her transition, and then when finished, gets on with her life. And that is to be able to do anything any woman does or can do and no one thinks any different of her than any other woman.
To be seen as just another woman doing what women do. And no one says, "But you're..." to tell them they're not a woman, or worse, they aren't a woman, can't be a woman, won't be a woman or will never be a woman, not because of their birth but because of who they are and how they are seen.
Being invisible as a woman among women. The simple truth and for many the hardest thing they do and likely will do their entire life.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Being Forgotten
Apparently transgender people don't count in California when it comes to reparative therapy for young people, at least if it's actually gender identity and not sexual orientation of the young person. That's what California just did with Senate Bill 1172, signed into law September 29, 2012.
While all the lesbian and gay people where championing this bill through the legislature and encouraging support from the greater LGBT community, they forgot to include banning reparative therapy for gender identity.
Why is that? Because the gay (men) community were in charge of this bill?
Lesbians gained here too but there is far less effort for therapists to change the sexual orientation of a young girl. But if the young person is transgender, then reparative therapy, long proven the same as homosexual reparative therapy as a bogus, then it's still legal?
It's still legal for parents to try and force their transgender child or youth into therapy for what? Did you not plan to consider inclusion of transgender reparative therapy in the bill all along? Did you really forget transgender people except to cite them in the bill but not include in the ban?
Why is this not just another example of why gay men hate transgender people, especially transgender women? Because this is another example.
And you wonder why you didn't get their support for this bill when you probably assumed it and expected transgender people to stand up and support it?
I forgot you, gay men, really don't care about any minority rights except your own. And here is shows, obvious and blatant. And maybe the courts will rule it invalid. Transpeole can hope, if only to teach you, gay men, a lesson in humility and inclusion.
Being deliberately forgotten isn't appreciated, again.
While all the lesbian and gay people where championing this bill through the legislature and encouraging support from the greater LGBT community, they forgot to include banning reparative therapy for gender identity.
Why is that? Because the gay (men) community were in charge of this bill?
Lesbians gained here too but there is far less effort for therapists to change the sexual orientation of a young girl. But if the young person is transgender, then reparative therapy, long proven the same as homosexual reparative therapy as a bogus, then it's still legal?
It's still legal for parents to try and force their transgender child or youth into therapy for what? Did you not plan to consider inclusion of transgender reparative therapy in the bill all along? Did you really forget transgender people except to cite them in the bill but not include in the ban?
Why is this not just another example of why gay men hate transgender people, especially transgender women? Because this is another example.
And you wonder why you didn't get their support for this bill when you probably assumed it and expected transgender people to stand up and support it?
I forgot you, gay men, really don't care about any minority rights except your own. And here is shows, obvious and blatant. And maybe the courts will rule it invalid. Transpeole can hope, if only to teach you, gay men, a lesson in humility and inclusion.
Being deliberately forgotten isn't appreciated, again.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
What sucks
What sucks is transwomen who reasonably to perfectly pass, especially with a minimum of makeup and good clothes tell nonpassing transwomen to just live with it and get out there in the world. Do these (passing) transwomen really know the embarrassment and often humilation nonpassing women face?
No they don't and that sucks for them to even suggest the other women to what men tell other men, to "man up" except in their case, it's "woman up" and be brave. Yeah, and when these women are asked to leave a store, restaurant or wherever, do the passing transwomen stand up and speak for them?
No, they don't since they don't want to out themselves. Passing has its privileges and it sucks when transwomen use them against other transwomen.
But you know what's even worse?
That's when your therapist tells you the same thing, to go out in public. It's called the real-life experience. To what face discrimination, ridicule and worse? Any therapist who says you have to go public even if you don't pass, then fire them and don't go back.
The world sucks bad enough, you don't need it piled on yourself for others. Be yourself and take your t transition as fits you and your schedule and life. Don't be pushed into anything you don't want to do or will feel bad.
Don't fuck yourself for others. That would suck the worst, when you do it to yourself, something you don't need. It leads to depression and all to often suicide for the feelings of failure of being, passing and living as you are and want to be.
It's good to be strong with yourself and your transition. Just be wise and smart with your courage and strength.
No they don't and that sucks for them to even suggest the other women to what men tell other men, to "man up" except in their case, it's "woman up" and be brave. Yeah, and when these women are asked to leave a store, restaurant or wherever, do the passing transwomen stand up and speak for them?
No, they don't since they don't want to out themselves. Passing has its privileges and it sucks when transwomen use them against other transwomen.
But you know what's even worse?
That's when your therapist tells you the same thing, to go out in public. It's called the real-life experience. To what face discrimination, ridicule and worse? Any therapist who says you have to go public even if you don't pass, then fire them and don't go back.
The world sucks bad enough, you don't need it piled on yourself for others. Be yourself and take your t transition as fits you and your schedule and life. Don't be pushed into anything you don't want to do or will feel bad.
Don't fuck yourself for others. That would suck the worst, when you do it to yourself, something you don't need. It leads to depression and all to often suicide for the feelings of failure of being, passing and living as you are and want to be.
It's good to be strong with yourself and your transition. Just be wise and smart with your courage and strength.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Hard To Explain
The hardest thing for a transwoman to explain to anyone who isn't transgender, especially cisgender women, is why you want sex affirmation surgery, or commonly called sex reassignment surgery and in some countries gender reassignment surgery.
Surprisingly, it's even hard to explain to some post-transition women who have had the surgery, especially if they had it years if not decades ago. But not because they don't understand the thoughts and feelings, but because they often don't believe you.
These are two different responses. Cisgender women, and I borrow this term from the transcommunity and the feminist community because it's used to distinguish females by birth according to their genes. This definition, however, excludes intersexed and mixed gene women, something almost always overlooked by those two communities.
But that's another issue. The issue here is explaining why you want "the surgery", because they always ask and never understand. They usually just feign some feeling with kind remarks or express some judgement about courage, but it's really just verbal candy.
The hardest thing explaining why you want the surgery is because our bodies, especially our sex organs are innate in our being. We can't think different that what we instinctively know which is our sex and gender.
So someone who says their body doesn't match their mind seems odd to others. While people simplify it to being their sex (male, female or intersex by birth or genes) doesn't match their gender (man, woman), that's really inadequate and defies the whole person.
The truth is our sex and gender encompass both our body and mind, both inextricably intertwined in our brain and throughout our body. We are both sex and gender from the top of our head to our toes and everything in between and inside.
We are, as they say, but we also know that the vast majority of people never feel any different from what our society has decided is normal for a boy/man or girl/woman, where it's physical, mental and emotional.
But that doesn't include, or more often forgotten, is gender indentity. It gets lost in the words because people can't explain it except to say they know who they are, and why they never will understand when people don't have that same feeling but one where there is a conflict.
And try as you can to explain the biology of it, that's it's not completely genetic, but it's more in the development of the fetus in the period between the time the body is sexed as male or female and the brain is gendered as boy or girl.
This occurs in the 3-6 month period where the whole array of genes, hormones, chemicals, enviroment, ad infinitum mix to develop the fetus, and where the sex and gender develop changes direction from what we might expect.
And from birth to childhood, the child doesn't see what others sees about themselves, but sees confusion within themselves, in their families, among their firends and in the world. All they know is that something feels wrong.
It's later in life, often in their older childhood, they realize the "wrong" isnt' themselves, their identity, but their body. They know who they are, and they know their body is wrong and what's between their legs is wrong.
And that's what can't be explained by the person or understood by others asking the questions about or wanting to know why they want the surgery. Sometimes the best you can do is ask them, "If you woke up tomorrow in the body of the other sex, with those sex organs, how would you feel and what would you do?"
But it really doesn't get them to understand even when they just say, "I'd get surgery to change it.", because they still don't know the feeling from birth to the day of your surgery and the life you have afterward.
It's also because they don't understand it's not just about the physicality of the sex organs. It's about everything associated with them, from what's expected of you as defined by your sex and not your gender, to how you're expected with others.
They don't know how innate it has been to feel wrong and to want to change it and all of that. They only know what they innately feel about themselves and know the what would be wrong in thought, but never in their mind, their heart and their soul.
They know themselves to be women because of their body and mind hasn't known anything else, as transwomen has known all their lives and simply want to feel whole as any woman innately knows. And why, despite all the talk about transitions, it always really is about the surgery.
And that's the hardest thing to explain, wanting to be whole. It's about the freedom to express your wholeness without having and fearing something to hide. You are as any woman has known since birth. And maybe that's the only thing other women understand.
Surprisingly, it's even hard to explain to some post-transition women who have had the surgery, especially if they had it years if not decades ago. But not because they don't understand the thoughts and feelings, but because they often don't believe you.
These are two different responses. Cisgender women, and I borrow this term from the transcommunity and the feminist community because it's used to distinguish females by birth according to their genes. This definition, however, excludes intersexed and mixed gene women, something almost always overlooked by those two communities.
But that's another issue. The issue here is explaining why you want "the surgery", because they always ask and never understand. They usually just feign some feeling with kind remarks or express some judgement about courage, but it's really just verbal candy.
The hardest thing explaining why you want the surgery is because our bodies, especially our sex organs are innate in our being. We can't think different that what we instinctively know which is our sex and gender.
So someone who says their body doesn't match their mind seems odd to others. While people simplify it to being their sex (male, female or intersex by birth or genes) doesn't match their gender (man, woman), that's really inadequate and defies the whole person.
The truth is our sex and gender encompass both our body and mind, both inextricably intertwined in our brain and throughout our body. We are both sex and gender from the top of our head to our toes and everything in between and inside.
We are, as they say, but we also know that the vast majority of people never feel any different from what our society has decided is normal for a boy/man or girl/woman, where it's physical, mental and emotional.
But that doesn't include, or more often forgotten, is gender indentity. It gets lost in the words because people can't explain it except to say they know who they are, and why they never will understand when people don't have that same feeling but one where there is a conflict.
And try as you can to explain the biology of it, that's it's not completely genetic, but it's more in the development of the fetus in the period between the time the body is sexed as male or female and the brain is gendered as boy or girl.
This occurs in the 3-6 month period where the whole array of genes, hormones, chemicals, enviroment, ad infinitum mix to develop the fetus, and where the sex and gender develop changes direction from what we might expect.
And from birth to childhood, the child doesn't see what others sees about themselves, but sees confusion within themselves, in their families, among their firends and in the world. All they know is that something feels wrong.
It's later in life, often in their older childhood, they realize the "wrong" isnt' themselves, their identity, but their body. They know who they are, and they know their body is wrong and what's between their legs is wrong.
And that's what can't be explained by the person or understood by others asking the questions about or wanting to know why they want the surgery. Sometimes the best you can do is ask them, "If you woke up tomorrow in the body of the other sex, with those sex organs, how would you feel and what would you do?"
But it really doesn't get them to understand even when they just say, "I'd get surgery to change it.", because they still don't know the feeling from birth to the day of your surgery and the life you have afterward.
It's also because they don't understand it's not just about the physicality of the sex organs. It's about everything associated with them, from what's expected of you as defined by your sex and not your gender, to how you're expected with others.
They don't know how innate it has been to feel wrong and to want to change it and all of that. They only know what they innately feel about themselves and know the what would be wrong in thought, but never in their mind, their heart and their soul.
They know themselves to be women because of their body and mind hasn't known anything else, as transwomen has known all their lives and simply want to feel whole as any woman innately knows. And why, despite all the talk about transitions, it always really is about the surgery.
And that's the hardest thing to explain, wanting to be whole. It's about the freedom to express your wholeness without having and fearing something to hide. You are as any woman has known since birth. And maybe that's the only thing other women understand.
Officially Not Sick
With the release of the new DSM-V, a person with gender identity issues is no longer officially sick, just not well, and still not normal. While some in the transgender community hail this as a, even only small, victory away from the stigma of a "disorder", some openly criticize it as insufficient toward the goal of removal from the DSM.
The reality is that the whole issue of gender identity is mostly, and to some almost completely, a semantic argument, words trying to define a small segment of normal people who express themselves differently than most people who believe their values, their morality and their standards defines normal.
The truth is normal is relative to time and place, and even in the United States, normal society standards have differed and changed over our histoyr with people and place. It has only been in the post World War II period when the standards we live with today were born in the people who were prominent in the 1950's.
Yes, our world about sex and gender was defined 60 years ago and while it's changed and everything else around it has changed, the fundamental values and standards have remained because of the legacy of those people still remains in the (older generation) people in charge and making decisions about other people because they like to play god with people, aka patients.
That's what the whole gender identity issue is about, morality and psychiatrist playing god with their morality. Extreme? Really? Not if you look at and consider the careers of some of those on the commitee and subcommitte charged with writing the new DSM standards on gender identity.
Why do they even think it's anything other people being normal expressing themselves? Because they have and can label people and claim control over them through the DSM. That's what the DSM is about, partially defining protocols for diagnoses and treatments, but mostly controlling access to medical care.
There's nothing mentally or emotionally wrong with people who have gender identity issues. What the DSM has failed to recognize and still doesn't recognize is that it's not the gender identity that's the problem, it's their body but most of all, it's the world they live in with ostracizes them as different, even not a person.
The fact and reality that some people are born with a conflict between their body of one sex and their mind the other gender isn't abnormal, just not common, but above all people with gender identity need help, not psychological labels and rules about what they can do to get treatment to be who they are and live they life they want.
It's not rocket science, it's human nature, and the DSM and medical community should be helping them than labelling and controlling them through access to the medical treatment which not only ameliorates the feelings but provides the treatment which resolves their internal conflict.
It's the simple idea long expressed by transpeople, but not seen by all but a few psychiatrists, it's not the mind that's wrong, it's the body. Fix the body and everything else improves. It's not rocket science, it's human nature, and most of all common sense.
And that shows where the problem lies, the medical community, specificially the psychiatrists and their DSM, and lies with the health insurance companies denying coverage for a condition long, and wrongly, labelled, not because there's anything wrong, but because it's their definition of normal.
No one with gender identity issues is sick, abnormal or anything other than human and normal, and the issues they have with the body is easily solvable with existing medical intervention long practiced for those who pass through the gates to get treatment, and of course either find a financial help, eg. employer, family, etc., or write their own checks.
And that's the sad reality, the vast majority of transitioning women don't have the money, don't have a good employer who pays for this, don't have the health insurance company which covers it, and don't have family or friends to help.
That's not sick, it's a tragedy, easily fixable like all the other probems with our healthcare and health insurance system. It's about politics, power, money and control, not human lives. And that's the greater tragedy of our country, the morality, about people's morality toward others they don't think are normal.
And it's all there written in the DSM. You need look no farther than it and the APA.
The reality is that the whole issue of gender identity is mostly, and to some almost completely, a semantic argument, words trying to define a small segment of normal people who express themselves differently than most people who believe their values, their morality and their standards defines normal.
The truth is normal is relative to time and place, and even in the United States, normal society standards have differed and changed over our histoyr with people and place. It has only been in the post World War II period when the standards we live with today were born in the people who were prominent in the 1950's.
Yes, our world about sex and gender was defined 60 years ago and while it's changed and everything else around it has changed, the fundamental values and standards have remained because of the legacy of those people still remains in the (older generation) people in charge and making decisions about other people because they like to play god with people, aka patients.
That's what the whole gender identity issue is about, morality and psychiatrist playing god with their morality. Extreme? Really? Not if you look at and consider the careers of some of those on the commitee and subcommitte charged with writing the new DSM standards on gender identity.
Why do they even think it's anything other people being normal expressing themselves? Because they have and can label people and claim control over them through the DSM. That's what the DSM is about, partially defining protocols for diagnoses and treatments, but mostly controlling access to medical care.
There's nothing mentally or emotionally wrong with people who have gender identity issues. What the DSM has failed to recognize and still doesn't recognize is that it's not the gender identity that's the problem, it's their body but most of all, it's the world they live in with ostracizes them as different, even not a person.
The fact and reality that some people are born with a conflict between their body of one sex and their mind the other gender isn't abnormal, just not common, but above all people with gender identity need help, not psychological labels and rules about what they can do to get treatment to be who they are and live they life they want.
It's not rocket science, it's human nature, and the DSM and medical community should be helping them than labelling and controlling them through access to the medical treatment which not only ameliorates the feelings but provides the treatment which resolves their internal conflict.
It's the simple idea long expressed by transpeople, but not seen by all but a few psychiatrists, it's not the mind that's wrong, it's the body. Fix the body and everything else improves. It's not rocket science, it's human nature, and most of all common sense.
And that shows where the problem lies, the medical community, specificially the psychiatrists and their DSM, and lies with the health insurance companies denying coverage for a condition long, and wrongly, labelled, not because there's anything wrong, but because it's their definition of normal.
No one with gender identity issues is sick, abnormal or anything other than human and normal, and the issues they have with the body is easily solvable with existing medical intervention long practiced for those who pass through the gates to get treatment, and of course either find a financial help, eg. employer, family, etc., or write their own checks.
And that's the sad reality, the vast majority of transitioning women don't have the money, don't have a good employer who pays for this, don't have the health insurance company which covers it, and don't have family or friends to help.
That's not sick, it's a tragedy, easily fixable like all the other probems with our healthcare and health insurance system. It's about politics, power, money and control, not human lives. And that's the greater tragedy of our country, the morality, about people's morality toward others they don't think are normal.
And it's all there written in the DSM. You need look no farther than it and the APA.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
If I Transitioned
No matter what age I was if I transitioned, I'd love to be 19 when I finished it, to have the full freedom of being a 19-year old woman with everything in front of me and all the freedom to be and express myself. Is there any better age and time to be if you transitioned?
Monday, December 3, 2012
The Illusion
Update.--Correction to last paragraph, my mistake.
Original Post.--The difference between (trans)women and other transgender women, meaning cross-dresssers, transvestites, etal, is the illusion. Women, genetic and trans, don't hide behind the illusion of their sex and gender.
Makeup and clothes makes them pretty or even beautiful, but it doesn't change what's underneath, a woman. All the rest of transgender women hide behind the illusion of makeup, clothes, behavior, mannerisms, etc. to appear like women.
But at the end of the day, they're not women underneath. That's the illusion they must have to pretend to be women. Women, genetic or trans, don't have to hide behind the illusion because they're always women.
And that's the differnce between the illusion of gender and the reality of it. Women, whether genetic, intersex or trans, just are. All others need the illusion to be, and only for awhile.
Original Post.--The difference between (trans)women and other transgender women, meaning cross-dresssers, transvestites, etal, is the illusion. Women, genetic and trans, don't hide behind the illusion of their sex and gender.
Makeup and clothes makes them pretty or even beautiful, but it doesn't change what's underneath, a woman. All the rest of transgender women hide behind the illusion of makeup, clothes, behavior, mannerisms, etc. to appear like women.
But at the end of the day, they're not women underneath. That's the illusion they must have to pretend to be women. Women, genetic or trans, don't have to hide behind the illusion because they're always women.
And that's the differnce between the illusion of gender and the reality of it. Women, whether genetic, intersex or trans, just are. All others need the illusion to be, and only for awhile.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
The Sad Reality
The sad reality that after just short of a year into your transition of taking hormone drugs, meaning Spironolactone and Estradiol, you come to the realization that you can't take hormones, the drugs have serious adverse effects on your mind and body.
You face the reality that you have gone and will go as far as hormones will change your mind and body to be a woman, which is not very much or very far, leaving you jealous and envious for all those who transition with hormones to see what it does to the body and mind.
You face the reality you can't transition any further on drugs. You face the reality that your presentation won't be any better than you are now. You face the reality people will only see what and who you are now, and not who you really are and want to be.
You face the reality, the sad reality, this is your transition. And you ask yourself, what now?
You face the reality that you have gone and will go as far as hormones will change your mind and body to be a woman, which is not very much or very far, leaving you jealous and envious for all those who transition with hormones to see what it does to the body and mind.
You face the reality you can't transition any further on drugs. You face the reality that your presentation won't be any better than you are now. You face the reality people will only see what and who you are now, and not who you really are and want to be.
You face the reality, the sad reality, this is your transition. And you ask yourself, what now?
Why
Why do we always know who we are because of the reality of our sex or gender? Why does everyone else think they know better for us? Think they know who we are, know what our sex or gender is? Think they know because of what they see. Think they know because it's what they've learned and believe. Think they know we're wrong about ourselves. When the one who's wrong is not us.
It Is Both
Both? What? Well, a transition is both personal and public. No matter how a woman transitions, she is on her own personal journey to a goal not known beyond tomorrow and hope. She is also on a public one because of not who she is as person or human being but what she is as a "transwoman", which doesn't really mean anything to her.
That's because the vast majority of women in transition don't consider themselves transgender or transsexual, or any term for that matter, but it leaves a vacuum which the public wants to know about them, "What are they." Not who are they as women, but what kind of woman, and more specifically, what kind of transwoman.
This doesn't happen with gay people. Everyone generally agrees what a gay man or lesbian is, it's common knowledge. But transgender or transsexual raises the whole spectrum of expressions and presentations where people generally pick one to apply to everyone, no matter if it's true or right. But it's not good.
So when any transwoman goes out the front door, they're always on that, the personal and public journey. Gay and lesbian people can be anyone, express or present themselves anyway they want, and we all seem to accommodate them to some degree, or most do as hate crimes persist.
That's because the vast majority of women in transition don't consider themselves transgender or transsexual, or any term for that matter, but it leaves a vacuum which the public wants to know about them, "What are they." Not who are they as women, but what kind of woman, and more specifically, what kind of transwoman.
This doesn't happen with gay people. Everyone generally agrees what a gay man or lesbian is, it's common knowledge. But transgender or transsexual raises the whole spectrum of expressions and presentations where people generally pick one to apply to everyone, no matter if it's true or right. But it's not good.
So when any transwoman goes out the front door, they're always on that, the personal and public journey. Gay and lesbian people can be anyone, express or present themselves anyway they want, and we all seem to accommodate them to some degree, or most do as hate crimes persist.
The Luck of Reality
The luck for any transwoman of any transition and their living relatively quietly stealth as women after the transition is the reality of their genes, meaning everything hinges on their ability to transition and pass. Yes, those words many in- and post-transition women argue aren't important. Well, only to the marginally to obviously non-passing ones.
Those who pass, do so and get on with their lives, where they walk away from the transcommunity. This point has been argued by some (mostly gay or transmen) but all anyone has to do is crunch the numbers of the number of SRS done for women in the US (here, Canada, and SE Asia) with the number of active or public post-transition women and you'll see there's a huge mismatch, an order of magnitude or more.
Anyway, that's wandering. My point is about the luck of our genes and the good or bad luck women transitioning have to get through their transition and have anything of a normal life as women without some or many problems being accepted, or maybe only silently accepted but then pretty much ignored to continue without notice.
Which is why some who only marginallly pass and those who don't pass most, if not almost all the time, are not just hesitant to come out and then go public. And why some don't even transition or become social hermits if they do.
And while all the people in the transcommunity argue they should come to because they'll have the support of the community, it's not that support they need. It's the acceptance of their family, their friends, their co-workers, and the public. If you don't pass there, then all the support from the transcommunity is useless.
It's why some, even later in life and especially older in life, get facial cosmetic surgery, for their own identity and for the ability to pass easier. It's why those who don't later in life and even older in life, not to be critical too much, don't pass without makeup.
A face of an ordinary woman without makeup, someone they see in the mirror as the woman they have always known themself to be, is often the life changing moment, just to be an ordinary looking woman without the fear of looks, stares, comments and words from others in public.
Sometimes it's what makes them whole, to lose who they saw everyday in the mirror, their old self, and to gain who they are, their new self. All the genes which defined their face can be overcome to a some, even a large, degree.
Then the mirror isn't their enemy and their life as the women they know and now see they are is ahead. The luck of genes and reality helps for transitioning women, they already see in the mirror everyday. The rest of transwomen have to mentally fight to see it, at least until they can change their face, overcome their genes and reality.
Those who pass, do so and get on with their lives, where they walk away from the transcommunity. This point has been argued by some (mostly gay or transmen) but all anyone has to do is crunch the numbers of the number of SRS done for women in the US (here, Canada, and SE Asia) with the number of active or public post-transition women and you'll see there's a huge mismatch, an order of magnitude or more.
Anyway, that's wandering. My point is about the luck of our genes and the good or bad luck women transitioning have to get through their transition and have anything of a normal life as women without some or many problems being accepted, or maybe only silently accepted but then pretty much ignored to continue without notice.
Which is why some who only marginallly pass and those who don't pass most, if not almost all the time, are not just hesitant to come out and then go public. And why some don't even transition or become social hermits if they do.
And while all the people in the transcommunity argue they should come to because they'll have the support of the community, it's not that support they need. It's the acceptance of their family, their friends, their co-workers, and the public. If you don't pass there, then all the support from the transcommunity is useless.
It's why some, even later in life and especially older in life, get facial cosmetic surgery, for their own identity and for the ability to pass easier. It's why those who don't later in life and even older in life, not to be critical too much, don't pass without makeup.
A face of an ordinary woman without makeup, someone they see in the mirror as the woman they have always known themself to be, is often the life changing moment, just to be an ordinary looking woman without the fear of looks, stares, comments and words from others in public.
Sometimes it's what makes them whole, to lose who they saw everyday in the mirror, their old self, and to gain who they are, their new self. All the genes which defined their face can be overcome to a some, even a large, degree.
Then the mirror isn't their enemy and their life as the women they know and now see they are is ahead. The luck of genes and reality helps for transitioning women, they already see in the mirror everyday. The rest of transwomen have to mentally fight to see it, at least until they can change their face, overcome their genes and reality.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
The Freedom of Clothes
There's far too much on the Internet for me to address the issue of women and clothes, but I'll add a small observation, which is about what's it is and worth, meaning there's more value in coffee at Starbucks and it last longer.
One thing women have is the freedom of clothes and one thing transwomen want is the freedom of clothes. A woman can make any clothes her clothes, there's no clothes that's off limits to women or their sense of fashion.
And before you think, "Wait, there's...", think again because there's already a feminine or woman's version of the same thing, even men's boxer shorts and briefs; women have already taken possession of them into the fashion and also made their own version of them. Check the fashion catalogs.
Anyway, the point is that a woman can fill her closet with any clothes and wear whatever fits her mood, interest or fancy for the moment, the day or whatever. Transwomen strive to be there during their transition, but often make one mistake.
One of the moments a transwoman values is the day she throws or gives away all her male clothes, often cited as the moment of losing their old self, but some transwomen have to keep some for times when they have to dress in "guy mode" for some situation or event where being their old self is expected or demanded.
What they forget is that, while ridding themselves of their old clothes as a symbol of ridding themselves of their old self, that many of their old clothes are quite useful and during and after their transition the clothes can become part of their wardrobe as women's fashion.
The key is that they'll be seen and treated as women so the clothes doesn't change what or who people see. While ridding themselves of the clothes, they're ridding themselves of the freedom of clothes, the freedom women have.
The freedom women have is the freedom with clothes, any clothes. Transwomen need to remember it before they trash all their old clothes. Memories are one thing when thinking about the old clothes, but memories can be remade when making them your new women's clothes.
This is because the world won't see your old self, only your new self, a woman, enjoying the freedom of clothes.
One thing women have is the freedom of clothes and one thing transwomen want is the freedom of clothes. A woman can make any clothes her clothes, there's no clothes that's off limits to women or their sense of fashion.
And before you think, "Wait, there's...", think again because there's already a feminine or woman's version of the same thing, even men's boxer shorts and briefs; women have already taken possession of them into the fashion and also made their own version of them. Check the fashion catalogs.
Anyway, the point is that a woman can fill her closet with any clothes and wear whatever fits her mood, interest or fancy for the moment, the day or whatever. Transwomen strive to be there during their transition, but often make one mistake.
One of the moments a transwoman values is the day she throws or gives away all her male clothes, often cited as the moment of losing their old self, but some transwomen have to keep some for times when they have to dress in "guy mode" for some situation or event where being their old self is expected or demanded.
What they forget is that, while ridding themselves of their old clothes as a symbol of ridding themselves of their old self, that many of their old clothes are quite useful and during and after their transition the clothes can become part of their wardrobe as women's fashion.
The key is that they'll be seen and treated as women so the clothes doesn't change what or who people see. While ridding themselves of the clothes, they're ridding themselves of the freedom of clothes, the freedom women have.
The freedom women have is the freedom with clothes, any clothes. Transwomen need to remember it before they trash all their old clothes. Memories are one thing when thinking about the old clothes, but memories can be remade when making them your new women's clothes.
This is because the world won't see your old self, only your new self, a woman, enjoying the freedom of clothes.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Reaching Milestones
There are times in a transition where you reach a milestone, often passed over and forgotten but to some they become points in time when you find affirmation of your direction, goals and journey of your transition, and what lies ahead.
One of those milestones isn't a milestone for some as it's about passing without cosmetic facial surgery. Many, especially younger transwomen go through their transition relatively easily in public because they pass from their natural beauty, electrolysis and the effects of hormone drugs.
Some transwomen, however, don't pass as the feature everyone uses to instinctively judge the gender of a person, the face, doesn't pass for a moment. It might be from genetics, age, whatever, they just don't pass without cosmetic facial surgery.
And for them, the milestone where the hormone drugs have reached the end of their effects where little changes for continued use and if they want to pass in public and live fulltime comfortably without those moments of being outed is the moment they write the check and go in for the surgery.
But for many of them that milestone is probably the biggest moment, both the decision and the surgery, in their transition, and it's often the hardest, because the surgery alone costs $20,000 and more, often in the $40-50,000 catagory for the best surgeon or extensive work.
That's the milestone which almost always halts a transition where the transwoman faces the reality of their being and the reality of money. The surgery is always considered cosmetic (obviously) and not covered by insurance (none for anyone).
And it's the moment the vast majority will go in debt or use other money (saving, equity, etc.) to pay for the surgery. That's because it's not about the money, it's about a life, their life and their future as a woman. But for some the money isn't there except sometime in the future.
That's when they face the reality of living where they have been and don't want to continue, in between their old self and their new self, and have to find a way to survive with the least amount of problems. It's often used by therapist as the "real life experience."
It's this time and experience which escapes me why therapists put their patients in harm's way by mandating this as part of the "treatment", to put them in the public fully knowing they don't pass, won't be easily accepted and will be denied being treated as a woman.
It doesn't change the milestone, it's always there, it's just a matter of when and how it's paid. There's no if as there was never a doubt, just the finality of the decision. But it's also the hardest as it changes their face forever, from who they were to who they are.
Every transwoman who knows the surgery is a must expects to reach this milestone, until they get there and find themselves at the moment in hopes the money is there, and if not, where it can be found, if it can be found. They've already found themselves.
And it's why this milestone is about the money, but it's not about the money.
One of those milestones isn't a milestone for some as it's about passing without cosmetic facial surgery. Many, especially younger transwomen go through their transition relatively easily in public because they pass from their natural beauty, electrolysis and the effects of hormone drugs.
Some transwomen, however, don't pass as the feature everyone uses to instinctively judge the gender of a person, the face, doesn't pass for a moment. It might be from genetics, age, whatever, they just don't pass without cosmetic facial surgery.
And for them, the milestone where the hormone drugs have reached the end of their effects where little changes for continued use and if they want to pass in public and live fulltime comfortably without those moments of being outed is the moment they write the check and go in for the surgery.
But for many of them that milestone is probably the biggest moment, both the decision and the surgery, in their transition, and it's often the hardest, because the surgery alone costs $20,000 and more, often in the $40-50,000 catagory for the best surgeon or extensive work.
That's the milestone which almost always halts a transition where the transwoman faces the reality of their being and the reality of money. The surgery is always considered cosmetic (obviously) and not covered by insurance (none for anyone).
And it's the moment the vast majority will go in debt or use other money (saving, equity, etc.) to pay for the surgery. That's because it's not about the money, it's about a life, their life and their future as a woman. But for some the money isn't there except sometime in the future.
That's when they face the reality of living where they have been and don't want to continue, in between their old self and their new self, and have to find a way to survive with the least amount of problems. It's often used by therapist as the "real life experience."
It's this time and experience which escapes me why therapists put their patients in harm's way by mandating this as part of the "treatment", to put them in the public fully knowing they don't pass, won't be easily accepted and will be denied being treated as a woman.
It doesn't change the milestone, it's always there, it's just a matter of when and how it's paid. There's no if as there was never a doubt, just the finality of the decision. But it's also the hardest as it changes their face forever, from who they were to who they are.
Every transwoman who knows the surgery is a must expects to reach this milestone, until they get there and find themselves at the moment in hopes the money is there, and if not, where it can be found, if it can be found. They've already found themselves.
And it's why this milestone is about the money, but it's not about the money.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Stealth
Why do women who pass after their transition discover being stealth is perfect and walk away from anything transgender, even their closest friends during their transition?
Yeah, the answer is obvious, and something almost all of them do, be stealth as much as you can be stealth (it's not 100%) because it's not just what the society considers normal, being a woman, but what they consider normal, being a woman.
They know not being stealth after your transition is the worst way to live and always being labelled transgender is the worst name to be called. Living stealth avoids all of it, and only those they choose to know or those who need to know will know the truth about them.
Yeah, the answer is obvious, and why is the easiest and simplest choice, and always the best choice.
Being stealth is being quietly invisible as a woman and away from the transgender community. No one wants to go back. No post-transition woman wants to go back to being transgender in the eyes of everyone and being a label to the transcommunity.
Yeah, the answer is obvious, so why does the transcommunity and the transactivists keep demanding being stealth isn't right when they know it is right for the person? Who wants to stand in the spotlight after years of their transition to be who they were and not who they are?
Yeah, the answer is obvious. It's just being a woman.
Yeah, the answer is obvious, and something almost all of them do, be stealth as much as you can be stealth (it's not 100%) because it's not just what the society considers normal, being a woman, but what they consider normal, being a woman.
They know not being stealth after your transition is the worst way to live and always being labelled transgender is the worst name to be called. Living stealth avoids all of it, and only those they choose to know or those who need to know will know the truth about them.
Yeah, the answer is obvious, and why is the easiest and simplest choice, and always the best choice.
Being stealth is being quietly invisible as a woman and away from the transgender community. No one wants to go back. No post-transition woman wants to go back to being transgender in the eyes of everyone and being a label to the transcommunity.
Yeah, the answer is obvious, so why does the transcommunity and the transactivists keep demanding being stealth isn't right when they know it is right for the person? Who wants to stand in the spotlight after years of their transition to be who they were and not who they are?
Yeah, the answer is obvious. It's just being a woman.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
To Some
To some during and after their transition, it really is about what people see and think about them. It's not about clothes. It's not about presentation. It's about being seen as a woman no matter how their dressed and no matter if they're wearing makeup or not.
It's about just being who they are as a woman. Call it passing, call it acceptance, or even call it tolerance, it's all irrelevant. It's about being invisible as a woman among women. To some it's what it's all about since they already know who they are and have long accepted it.
To some it's not about being pretty, not about presenting as fashionable or professional, not about attacting attention as a woman. It's about quietly being among people without a worry about being themself, without a reason to fear someone will notice and question or comment, and without facing discrimination or worse.
To some it's about just getting through life, their life in the world, and they can live their life as they want and enjoy everything else in the world. To some, happiness is just smiling at being invisible.
It's about just being who they are as a woman. Call it passing, call it acceptance, or even call it tolerance, it's all irrelevant. It's about being invisible as a woman among women. To some it's what it's all about since they already know who they are and have long accepted it.
To some it's not about being pretty, not about presenting as fashionable or professional, not about attacting attention as a woman. It's about quietly being among people without a worry about being themself, without a reason to fear someone will notice and question or comment, and without facing discrimination or worse.
To some it's about just getting through life, their life in the world, and they can live their life as they want and enjoy everything else in the world. To some, happiness is just smiling at being invisible.
Reaching the End
When transpeople get approved for Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), which can take months going through the process for the appointments for the initial prescription, they feel it's the start of their transition.
They may or may not have lived as the gender they know who they are, depending on their situation and requirement for HRT (yes, some programs require living as women first, which escapes me why when it has nothing to do with one's gender identity, just their public presentation).
They may or may not have come out to anyone but a few people, usually family or close friends, as some work through the initial process just with medical professional first to ensure everything is approved to transition before coming out to others.
But once they start HRT, they usually feel it's the right road and feel it will make them into something new. Well, it may and may not, because there is the idea of diminishing returns on HRT, meaning the longer you take HRT, the less the effect of the drugs after awhile and the more you take produces less change from the drugs.
This means there is a point where the time on HRT and the dosage of the HRT drugs reaches an optimium and then lessens over time when the continued use of the same dosage or any increase in the dosage won't produce more changes.
This is totally dependent on your body's response to HRT, the your body's capacity for change with HRT, and your body's reaction to or tolerance of HRT. Some people respond well to "normal" dosage, some need higher dosages and some don't tolerate HRT beyond more than a minimal dosage.
That's why you have to monitor your physical and mental health on HRT to ensure you aren't doing more harm than good. You have to monitor your physical health, your mental and emotional health and your body for adverse reactions or changes.
But through it all there will be a point when you've reached the end of the HRT's changes for you, or at least where you only need a sustaining dosage to keep what changes you have, which is often a lower dosage since the necessary basic change in your hormone levels has been achieved.
This may occur early in the transition if the person takes a high dosage, usually 2-3 years, longer on lower dosage for personal choice, and it may take more years if the person has to take the lowest dosage to prevent damaging side effects.
But there always is an end, and the reality there is no more help from HRT, and the person has to decide what's next in their transition. Some may have made the decision earlier with cosmetic surgery, but most don't because of the expense of surgery. Either way, it doesn't change the end.
And this is my point, start HRT knowing there is an end, and be realistic about your expectations from HRT. Remember it's about your life and your future. HRT won't guarrantee that, only help along the way to becoming who you are.
They may or may not have lived as the gender they know who they are, depending on their situation and requirement for HRT (yes, some programs require living as women first, which escapes me why when it has nothing to do with one's gender identity, just their public presentation).
They may or may not have come out to anyone but a few people, usually family or close friends, as some work through the initial process just with medical professional first to ensure everything is approved to transition before coming out to others.
But once they start HRT, they usually feel it's the right road and feel it will make them into something new. Well, it may and may not, because there is the idea of diminishing returns on HRT, meaning the longer you take HRT, the less the effect of the drugs after awhile and the more you take produces less change from the drugs.
This means there is a point where the time on HRT and the dosage of the HRT drugs reaches an optimium and then lessens over time when the continued use of the same dosage or any increase in the dosage won't produce more changes.
This is totally dependent on your body's response to HRT, the your body's capacity for change with HRT, and your body's reaction to or tolerance of HRT. Some people respond well to "normal" dosage, some need higher dosages and some don't tolerate HRT beyond more than a minimal dosage.
That's why you have to monitor your physical and mental health on HRT to ensure you aren't doing more harm than good. You have to monitor your physical health, your mental and emotional health and your body for adverse reactions or changes.
But through it all there will be a point when you've reached the end of the HRT's changes for you, or at least where you only need a sustaining dosage to keep what changes you have, which is often a lower dosage since the necessary basic change in your hormone levels has been achieved.
This may occur early in the transition if the person takes a high dosage, usually 2-3 years, longer on lower dosage for personal choice, and it may take more years if the person has to take the lowest dosage to prevent damaging side effects.
But there always is an end, and the reality there is no more help from HRT, and the person has to decide what's next in their transition. Some may have made the decision earlier with cosmetic surgery, but most don't because of the expense of surgery. Either way, it doesn't change the end.
And this is my point, start HRT knowing there is an end, and be realistic about your expectations from HRT. Remember it's about your life and your future. HRT won't guarrantee that, only help along the way to becoming who you are.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Transition Later
The problem with transitioning later in life, as many have done of late since there is a lot more freedomn, support, services and resources along with laws for rights and protections and with health insurance coverage for some if not all of the transition, is one thing.
You don't get to experience the fun and joy of being a young women with the freedom to be and live. You don't have those experiences to remember, just the struggle and frustration of living as a young man wanting not to be like that but just another young woman.
While you don't have the experience of the risk and dangers of being a girl and young woman, you didn't get the freedom to explore clothes, friends, and just having fun.
While you have the privilege, and responsibilities and obligations of being a man, you didn't get the experience of being a woman trying to strive for your goals and future, all the restrictions, limitations and all women had then and have now.
While your life would have been different being a woman, you would also have been different being yourself, sheer freedom of being and living. Something you didn't have and know to tell those who want to transition these days, do it soon while you're young and put your past behind you and put your life ahead of you.
And all you can do now is wonder what if while making the most of the time you have now as a woman. But then, that beats the alternative of not trying and wondering, still, what if.
You don't get to experience the fun and joy of being a young women with the freedom to be and live. You don't have those experiences to remember, just the struggle and frustration of living as a young man wanting not to be like that but just another young woman.
While you don't have the experience of the risk and dangers of being a girl and young woman, you didn't get the freedom to explore clothes, friends, and just having fun.
While you have the privilege, and responsibilities and obligations of being a man, you didn't get the experience of being a woman trying to strive for your goals and future, all the restrictions, limitations and all women had then and have now.
While your life would have been different being a woman, you would also have been different being yourself, sheer freedom of being and living. Something you didn't have and know to tell those who want to transition these days, do it soon while you're young and put your past behind you and put your life ahead of you.
And all you can do now is wonder what if while making the most of the time you have now as a woman. But then, that beats the alternative of not trying and wondering, still, what if.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Some Good Advice
To all pre- and early-HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) women,
Do yourself the biggest favor of your life, take HRT under the care of a trans-experienced physician or endrochronologist who will recommend if not require routine blood tests, every 4-6 months to start and annually after that. It can and will save your life.
But more importantly monitor your phsical and mental health once you start for several reasons, but mostly because these are powerful drugs, especially on younger people, but while less so with older people, the side effects can be worse from age.
The reason is that despite all the personal stories and experiences you hear, read or know of others who are transitioning or have transitioned, your reaction and result will be different, which is a result of your genetic makeup.
This is because Spironolactone depresses the body's metabolism which is in part why you gain weight and fat and lose muscle. You should find a way to stay fit for your body type and age, which means changing to exercise which uses muscles than builds them, to use up the fat your body will want to add.
This is also because Spironolactone can excerbate feeling excessively tired if they struggle to maintain any reasonable level of activity or fitness. And it will be harder to come back to your former health and fitness. This is why you should monitor you overall energy and activity level.
This is because Estradiol will have a range of mental and emotional effects on the individual. This is good for the positive effects and key if you are susceptible to depression when and where Estradiol can excerbate depression or other mental or emotional conditions.
The effects Estradiol will take time, slowly affecting the person where weeks or months later it become obvious and it will take time to recover once you reduce the dosage or stop altogether, which is what you should consider doing to avoid worsening effects.
This is why you need to monitor both your body and your mind. It doesn't matter what your goal is with your transition, it's not worth trashing your physical and mental health and fitness in the process. The physician should prioritize your transition in order as your life, your health, your fitness and then your transition.
Without the first three, a transition won't succeed. You may get through it but what and who will you be then, less healthly, less fit and with what kind of life? You have time with your transition to get through it with your health, fitness and the life you want to live into the future.
Take care of yourself first, HRT can and should fit into it. It's your life, make it worth it.
Do yourself the biggest favor of your life, take HRT under the care of a trans-experienced physician or endrochronologist who will recommend if not require routine blood tests, every 4-6 months to start and annually after that. It can and will save your life.
But more importantly monitor your phsical and mental health once you start for several reasons, but mostly because these are powerful drugs, especially on younger people, but while less so with older people, the side effects can be worse from age.
The reason is that despite all the personal stories and experiences you hear, read or know of others who are transitioning or have transitioned, your reaction and result will be different, which is a result of your genetic makeup.
This is because Spironolactone depresses the body's metabolism which is in part why you gain weight and fat and lose muscle. You should find a way to stay fit for your body type and age, which means changing to exercise which uses muscles than builds them, to use up the fat your body will want to add.
This is also because Spironolactone can excerbate feeling excessively tired if they struggle to maintain any reasonable level of activity or fitness. And it will be harder to come back to your former health and fitness. This is why you should monitor you overall energy and activity level.
This is because Estradiol will have a range of mental and emotional effects on the individual. This is good for the positive effects and key if you are susceptible to depression when and where Estradiol can excerbate depression or other mental or emotional conditions.
The effects Estradiol will take time, slowly affecting the person where weeks or months later it become obvious and it will take time to recover once you reduce the dosage or stop altogether, which is what you should consider doing to avoid worsening effects.
This is why you need to monitor both your body and your mind. It doesn't matter what your goal is with your transition, it's not worth trashing your physical and mental health and fitness in the process. The physician should prioritize your transition in order as your life, your health, your fitness and then your transition.
Without the first three, a transition won't succeed. You may get through it but what and who will you be then, less healthly, less fit and with what kind of life? You have time with your transition to get through it with your health, fitness and the life you want to live into the future.
Take care of yourself first, HRT can and should fit into it. It's your life, make it worth it.
Monday, November 12, 2012
The Difference
What's the difference between crossdressers and in-transition and especially post-transition women?
Crossdressers focus on the clothes, mostly dressing up, even if it's just a day around the home, a few errands, whatever, but especially parties, meetings, events. They identify as male-bodied and -born men (notice women crossdressing is fashion and part of society).
They seek their "feminine side" and buy and adjust the clothes to fit the body. They use makeup to hide facial hair (note a few do go through facial hair removal) and makeup to make themselves think they're pretty. Not women mind you, but a caricature of women.
They like to pretend their women without wanting to be one let alone living like one. That's not their goal. Their goal is simply a hobby around clothes and makeup. Nothing more, just a hobby, playing women and pretending they are a woman without really wanting to be one.
Crossdressers always go to work as men on Mondays. They're usually married, often with children or families, and relish in their male privilege in life and work. The last thing they want is to actually be a woman. It's their last thought and worst fear.
Transwomen want the body of a woman. It's why they go through the medical process to get and take hormone replacement therapy, some get cosmetic facial surgery and/or breast implants, but always to get the sex affirmation surgery, common known as sex reassignment surgery.
Transwomen buy the clothes to be who they are. They'll work on the body being female, being normal as possible if they were born female. That's their goal, the body, and the clothes are there to express the body and the mind.
They wear clothes as normal women wear clothes, for the situation and occasion. They live as women because they are women, and the clothes are the expression of themselves as women, whether it's just working around the home, living, working or going out, it's always appropriate and normal, even ordinary.
Transwomen want to be invisible in the ordinary world of women. You can't tell them from other women because they are just like other women. They are, live, work, and go through life as every woman. It's who they are.
That's the difference. Being and living as a woman versus pretending to be one with clothes and makeup. The reality of being a woman versus the fantasy to be one. One never wants to be a woman and the other always wanted to be woman.
What's not to understand about that? And you wonder why they often don't agree with each other?
Crossdressers focus on the clothes, mostly dressing up, even if it's just a day around the home, a few errands, whatever, but especially parties, meetings, events. They identify as male-bodied and -born men (notice women crossdressing is fashion and part of society).
They seek their "feminine side" and buy and adjust the clothes to fit the body. They use makeup to hide facial hair (note a few do go through facial hair removal) and makeup to make themselves think they're pretty. Not women mind you, but a caricature of women.
They like to pretend their women without wanting to be one let alone living like one. That's not their goal. Their goal is simply a hobby around clothes and makeup. Nothing more, just a hobby, playing women and pretending they are a woman without really wanting to be one.
Crossdressers always go to work as men on Mondays. They're usually married, often with children or families, and relish in their male privilege in life and work. The last thing they want is to actually be a woman. It's their last thought and worst fear.
Transwomen want the body of a woman. It's why they go through the medical process to get and take hormone replacement therapy, some get cosmetic facial surgery and/or breast implants, but always to get the sex affirmation surgery, common known as sex reassignment surgery.
Transwomen buy the clothes to be who they are. They'll work on the body being female, being normal as possible if they were born female. That's their goal, the body, and the clothes are there to express the body and the mind.
They wear clothes as normal women wear clothes, for the situation and occasion. They live as women because they are women, and the clothes are the expression of themselves as women, whether it's just working around the home, living, working or going out, it's always appropriate and normal, even ordinary.
Transwomen want to be invisible in the ordinary world of women. You can't tell them from other women because they are just like other women. They are, live, work, and go through life as every woman. It's who they are.
That's the difference. Being and living as a woman versus pretending to be one with clothes and makeup. The reality of being a woman versus the fantasy to be one. One never wants to be a woman and the other always wanted to be woman.
What's not to understand about that? And you wonder why they often don't agree with each other?
Sunday, November 11, 2012
What's Wrong Here
What's wrong with this editorial cartoon?
If you can't see it, then you're part of the problem. Hint, it's what this blog is about, transgender people. Where is the checkbox for gender differences? If it's missing then it's ok to taunt, harrass, and abuse transgender children and young people?
Yes, I know, an oversight, a mental mistake. But that's the problem, transgender children and young people are often forgotten in the anti-bullying effort or consider gay or lesbian and therefore covered. Or maybe thinks they're "Funny Looking"? Not.
They are themselves as any child or young person. They're not invisible. They face taunting, harrassment and abuse by others for just being who they are. It's easy to hide being gay or lesbian. It's not easy to hide being a transgender person, you wear the obviousness everyday.
While I applaud this cartoon, the artist needs to correct it, or else he's as guilty as the worst of the opposition, ignoring transgender people in the face of the violence against them.
Yes, I know, an oversight, a mental mistake. But that's the problem, transgender children and young people are often forgotten in the anti-bullying effort or consider gay or lesbian and therefore covered. Or maybe thinks they're "Funny Looking"? Not.
They are themselves as any child or young person. They're not invisible. They face taunting, harrassment and abuse by others for just being who they are. It's easy to hide being gay or lesbian. It's not easy to hide being a transgender person, you wear the obviousness everyday.
While I applaud this cartoon, the artist needs to correct it, or else he's as guilty as the worst of the opposition, ignoring transgender people in the face of the violence against them.
To the Media
Dear Media,
When you talk about LGBT issues and people, will you please get the facts right, being a gay or lesbian person is not the same as being a transgender person which is not the same as being genderqueer or androgynous. They are all different types of people, so stop equating gay and lesbian people with transgender people as if they are the same.
It's true transgender people can be gay or lesbian, and in fact many are, but the number is small compared to non-transgender gay and lesbian people, especially children and young people. But it's not about saying the blanket term covers all of them, it doesn't.
Throwing a blanket over gay and lesbian people won't begin to cover transgender people, and it won't cover all genderqueer or androgynous people. It is about semantics, and as journalists you should know and exercise the difference.
But then I know I'm talking to a brick wall as you don't pay attention and don't really care enough to do the right thing and be correct with your words. You only want the story told, only want your opinion heard, and only want people to remember you.
It's not about the people, which is why I'm talking to deaf ears and silent pens. But tell that to all the transgender people you confuse with gay and lesbian people. They know who they are, you can't change that, but you can be correct about them.
When you talk about LGBT issues and people, will you please get the facts right, being a gay or lesbian person is not the same as being a transgender person which is not the same as being genderqueer or androgynous. They are all different types of people, so stop equating gay and lesbian people with transgender people as if they are the same.
It's true transgender people can be gay or lesbian, and in fact many are, but the number is small compared to non-transgender gay and lesbian people, especially children and young people. But it's not about saying the blanket term covers all of them, it doesn't.
Throwing a blanket over gay and lesbian people won't begin to cover transgender people, and it won't cover all genderqueer or androgynous people. It is about semantics, and as journalists you should know and exercise the difference.
But then I know I'm talking to a brick wall as you don't pay attention and don't really care enough to do the right thing and be correct with your words. You only want the story told, only want your opinion heard, and only want people to remember you.
It's not about the people, which is why I'm talking to deaf ears and silent pens. But tell that to all the transgender people you confuse with gay and lesbian people. They know who they are, you can't change that, but you can be correct about them.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Imagine
Imagine getting both a trans-experienced therapist and a physician who approves you for Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), and a few months into it you discover your body can't tolerate it, only the lowest dosage which has little if any effect on your body.
Imagine Spirolactone crashes your body and your metabolism and makes you tired all the time, and Estradiol causes depression, forgetfulness and makes you mentally fuzzy all the time. Imagine there is nothing you can do to change the reality you can't take HRT.
Imagine trying to transition without it, trying to explain to everyone who you are, how you want to live your life, and who you want to be and there's nothing the therapist, the physician and all the medical science can do to help.
Imagine you can't see the changes HRT brings because you can't take it. Imagine everyone else can't see the changes either and won't or can't believe you because there are no changes.
Imagine all you have is who you are now and only the prospect of your surgery someday.
Imagine that's all you had, reality and hope. What do you tell yourself? What would you do?
Imagine Spirolactone crashes your body and your metabolism and makes you tired all the time, and Estradiol causes depression, forgetfulness and makes you mentally fuzzy all the time. Imagine there is nothing you can do to change the reality you can't take HRT.
Imagine trying to transition without it, trying to explain to everyone who you are, how you want to live your life, and who you want to be and there's nothing the therapist, the physician and all the medical science can do to help.
Imagine you can't see the changes HRT brings because you can't take it. Imagine everyone else can't see the changes either and won't or can't believe you because there are no changes.
Imagine all you have is who you are now and only the prospect of your surgery someday.
Imagine that's all you had, reality and hope. What do you tell yourself? What would you do?
Thursday, November 8, 2012
To Gay Men
To gay men in the LGBT community,
From the outcome of the 2012 election results, some comments when hearing you shout gains for LGBT people.
Do not use LGBT for LGB issues which passed and people elected, unless transgender people are included in the result. Same sex marriage only works for those transpeople who are gay or lesbian, not straight. It doesn't help them if they're still transgender.
Do not use LGBT when the elected official is gay or lesbian. They're not transgender.
Do not use LGBT for political gains that isn't transgender inclusive and may even be transgender exclusive because it only benefited LGB people.
Do not stand up and shout LGBT unless it's all LGBT people. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut. Transgender people don't want to hear you if they're not included.
From the outcome of the 2012 election results, some comments when hearing you shout gains for LGBT people.
Do not use LGBT for LGB issues which passed and people elected, unless transgender people are included in the result. Same sex marriage only works for those transpeople who are gay or lesbian, not straight. It doesn't help them if they're still transgender.
Do not use LGBT when the elected official is gay or lesbian. They're not transgender.
Do not use LGBT for political gains that isn't transgender inclusive and may even be transgender exclusive because it only benefited LGB people.
Do not stand up and shout LGBT unless it's all LGBT people. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut. Transgender people don't want to hear you if they're not included.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
The Sad Reality
The sad reality for some older, and even some young, women who transition is that they hate themselves unless they transition, not suicidal but just self-hate so deep life is hard just being, but they realize that even if they transition they will only be somewhat presentable and and barely passable.
The sad reality is that they may be happy being a woman but few people will consider them a woman. If they don't get cosmetic facial surgery, their face will never get past the "Can I help you sir?" when people see them.
All the voice lessons and practices won't get them heard as a woman. All the clothes will never get them more than being seen as androgynous or a cross-dresser, but not a woman. It will be the best they can do just to avoid getting stares when seen and pauses when heard.
Yet, that sad reality is all they have, and it is better than who they were, despite all the family and friends telling them differently, even being rejected and forgotten, and despite even being rejected them when trying to find new friends.
Their sad reality is what they have, and maybe others should be generous and gracious to know the pain they went through to get there, to know the hurt they go through every day, and to know the fear they feel when meeting people.
The sad reality can be relieved by each person by lifting the pain, the hurt, and the fear, by just saying, "Hi." and find something to compliment about them, or something funny to make them smile, even laugh, or something to just make them comfortable being themselves.
The reality is what it is, but the sadness doesn't have to be.
The sad reality is that they may be happy being a woman but few people will consider them a woman. If they don't get cosmetic facial surgery, their face will never get past the "Can I help you sir?" when people see them.
All the voice lessons and practices won't get them heard as a woman. All the clothes will never get them more than being seen as androgynous or a cross-dresser, but not a woman. It will be the best they can do just to avoid getting stares when seen and pauses when heard.
Yet, that sad reality is all they have, and it is better than who they were, despite all the family and friends telling them differently, even being rejected and forgotten, and despite even being rejected them when trying to find new friends.
Their sad reality is what they have, and maybe others should be generous and gracious to know the pain they went through to get there, to know the hurt they go through every day, and to know the fear they feel when meeting people.
The sad reality can be relieved by each person by lifting the pain, the hurt, and the fear, by just saying, "Hi." and find something to compliment about them, or something funny to make them smile, even laugh, or something to just make them comfortable being themselves.
The reality is what it is, but the sadness doesn't have to be.
The Problem
The problem with female-to-male transgender people? After awhile on testosterone, they become assholes just like genetic men. They think the world of themselves and treat women, especially in-transition and more so post-transition women, like shit.
They become men who forgot they were born female, raised as girls and lived as women, and what it was that was like to be discriminated against by men, demeaned and degraded by men, and treated like shit by the worst men.
They become what they hated, and they don't think twice of feeling good about it. It's what they love, being an asshole instead a man.
They become men who forgot they were born female, raised as girls and lived as women, and what it was that was like to be discriminated against by men, demeaned and degraded by men, and treated like shit by the worst men.
They become what they hated, and they don't think twice of feeling good about it. It's what they love, being an asshole instead a man.
Reverse Thinking
I've noticed a lot of columns about the "T" in LGBT and how much transpeople need inclusion in and with the greater Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual (LGB) community, for unity and gaining more support. I'm not against that since some transpeople are gay or lesbian.
But if you look at the recent progress transpeople have made it's not from the greater LGB community, as we saw when transpeople were dropped from the initial hate crime law and now from the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), it's been made by trans-only organizations.
The courts are deciding in-transition and especially legally-recognized men and women, meaning post-transition, are protected under the Civil Rights Law for sex, not gender. In several recent cases, judges have ruled for the women. They didn't need ENDA.
And if you notice trans-only organizations, eg. NCTE, have made gains for the diversity of transgender people without getting the support of the greater LGB community or adding LGB components to their effort. They have shown greater acceptance of LGB transpeople than the LGB groups have of transpeople.
And in many communities, like where I live, the transgender community and groups (there are several) don't incorporate their work or people with the greater LGB community, groups or people, except for greater efforts for public events such as the annual Pride parade, but they often hold transgender-only events which are very popular.
Transgender people are gaining without the LGB community, so maybe it's time to do as a whole community what others have done and succeeded, jettison the LGB from the community except where it applies to individuals who wish to participate in both.
The transgender community as shown they don't need the LGB community except to remind them about the treatment and exclusion they've gotten from the LGB people and to get them to stand up for transgender people, something they've long promised and reniged.
The transgender community has shown they're accepting of LGB people under the diversity of transgender people without raising it as an issue or a reason for their effort or work. They simply accept everyone's sexual orientation as the norm.
And now it's clear the transgender community simply needs to continue their work without the LGB community and only the support where the LGB community finally decided to be inclusive for all LGBT people, and not lie then renige.
The transgender community is now strong and independent, and it's time the LGB community recognize it and support it. The choice is that or asking for the transcommunity's help on their issues to have it fall on deaf ears and silent voices.
The transgender community is now equal for their cause as the LGB community is for theirs, and both can gain from each other if both, especially the LGB community, recognize it and share. And not isn't a choice anymore for the LGB community because the transcommunity doesn't need them.
But if you look at the recent progress transpeople have made it's not from the greater LGB community, as we saw when transpeople were dropped from the initial hate crime law and now from the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), it's been made by trans-only organizations.
The courts are deciding in-transition and especially legally-recognized men and women, meaning post-transition, are protected under the Civil Rights Law for sex, not gender. In several recent cases, judges have ruled for the women. They didn't need ENDA.
And if you notice trans-only organizations, eg. NCTE, have made gains for the diversity of transgender people without getting the support of the greater LGB community or adding LGB components to their effort. They have shown greater acceptance of LGB transpeople than the LGB groups have of transpeople.
And in many communities, like where I live, the transgender community and groups (there are several) don't incorporate their work or people with the greater LGB community, groups or people, except for greater efforts for public events such as the annual Pride parade, but they often hold transgender-only events which are very popular.
Transgender people are gaining without the LGB community, so maybe it's time to do as a whole community what others have done and succeeded, jettison the LGB from the community except where it applies to individuals who wish to participate in both.
The transgender community as shown they don't need the LGB community except to remind them about the treatment and exclusion they've gotten from the LGB people and to get them to stand up for transgender people, something they've long promised and reniged.
The transgender community has shown they're accepting of LGB people under the diversity of transgender people without raising it as an issue or a reason for their effort or work. They simply accept everyone's sexual orientation as the norm.
And now it's clear the transgender community simply needs to continue their work without the LGB community and only the support where the LGB community finally decided to be inclusive for all LGBT people, and not lie then renige.
The transgender community is now strong and independent, and it's time the LGB community recognize it and support it. The choice is that or asking for the transcommunity's help on their issues to have it fall on deaf ears and silent voices.
The transgender community is now equal for their cause as the LGB community is for theirs, and both can gain from each other if both, especially the LGB community, recognize it and share. And not isn't a choice anymore for the LGB community because the transcommunity doesn't need them.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Becoming Visible
The goal of the vast majority of in-transition and especially a post-transition women is to be invisible, just one of the many women going about their life. The last thing these women want is to become visible, and known for their transition outside of the few people, mainly family, friends and co-workers.
But many become visible for two reason. One, they didn't have a choice as their transition is relatively obvious to people when they walk out the front door. It might range from clearly obvious or just subtly obvious, but it doesn't change the reality, their life is now, like it or not and want it or not, public.
Two, they did have a choice and chose to become public for a variety of personal to professional reasons. Some do it for the attention, some to help the transgender community, and some to make a public statement about transgender women.
But it really doesn't matter why, the media and the public will make their own reasons and the woman will be those reasons and not the one she wanted or tried. Their identity will be public for all to see, and often used for descriptions of other and sometimes all transwomen.
Those who can and remain invisible will continue on with their lives. And those who became visible, not because they chose but because they were obvious, will have the harder time. For all the wanted they don't get to choose anything, from just getting by in life to what the media and public think and expresses about them.
They will have to live with what happens. And we wonder why some don't transtion? Or why some spend a lot of money to become passable and invisible when they walk out the front door? Or they just want to have an ordinary life, free of attention?
But most of all why do we wonder many hate themselves, some so much they attempt or commit suicide? If it's not obvious to you, then you're not paying attention to the right things. You're not thinking about them and the choices they faced when they decided to transition.
When becoming visible isn't a choice, then the woman has to decide among the remaining choices, none of which are often, and sometimes usually, good and she has to decide how much hate she can tolerate without the pain becoming overwhelming and the hurt too intense to bear.
I can only ask that if you know someone like them, consider the old adage, "For their but the grace of God go I.", and show not just understanding but friendship because they are not what you see, and are more than likely a great friend, person and woman.
What's not to like about that? You help take their pain and hurt away, and you make being visible easier for them. In the end, we're all just people, trying to get by between birth and death and live with the circumstance given us.
But many become visible for two reason. One, they didn't have a choice as their transition is relatively obvious to people when they walk out the front door. It might range from clearly obvious or just subtly obvious, but it doesn't change the reality, their life is now, like it or not and want it or not, public.
Two, they did have a choice and chose to become public for a variety of personal to professional reasons. Some do it for the attention, some to help the transgender community, and some to make a public statement about transgender women.
But it really doesn't matter why, the media and the public will make their own reasons and the woman will be those reasons and not the one she wanted or tried. Their identity will be public for all to see, and often used for descriptions of other and sometimes all transwomen.
Those who can and remain invisible will continue on with their lives. And those who became visible, not because they chose but because they were obvious, will have the harder time. For all the wanted they don't get to choose anything, from just getting by in life to what the media and public think and expresses about them.
They will have to live with what happens. And we wonder why some don't transtion? Or why some spend a lot of money to become passable and invisible when they walk out the front door? Or they just want to have an ordinary life, free of attention?
But most of all why do we wonder many hate themselves, some so much they attempt or commit suicide? If it's not obvious to you, then you're not paying attention to the right things. You're not thinking about them and the choices they faced when they decided to transition.
When becoming visible isn't a choice, then the woman has to decide among the remaining choices, none of which are often, and sometimes usually, good and she has to decide how much hate she can tolerate without the pain becoming overwhelming and the hurt too intense to bear.
I can only ask that if you know someone like them, consider the old adage, "For their but the grace of God go I.", and show not just understanding but friendship because they are not what you see, and are more than likely a great friend, person and woman.
What's not to like about that? You help take their pain and hurt away, and you make being visible easier for them. In the end, we're all just people, trying to get by between birth and death and live with the circumstance given us.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Being Comfortable
One reason transwomen transition isn't so much because they can dress in the finest or stylish women's fashion. Anyone can do that, even men as we see with cross-dressers, drag queens, transvestites, etal. who love to play dressup for meetings, parties, events and even for fun.
The reason is that transwomen can be comfortable in any clothes, especially clothes to lounge and work around the home and be thoroughly comfortable with the body to know it's all just natural and what they do, as women.
The transition to know the clothes are just clothes and the body is what makes them whole as women, even it the most comfy clothes they have doing absolutely nothing or whatever they enjoy at home. It always is and will be, first and foremost, about the body, not the clothes.
The reason is that transwomen can be comfortable in any clothes, especially clothes to lounge and work around the home and be thoroughly comfortable with the body to know it's all just natural and what they do, as women.
The transition to know the clothes are just clothes and the body is what makes them whole as women, even it the most comfy clothes they have doing absolutely nothing or whatever they enjoy at home. It always is and will be, first and foremost, about the body, not the clothes.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Dear Media
Dear Media,
Can you please stop emphasizing the word "transgender" when you describe someone? It's clear you want to make sure the viewer knows the person(s) you're talking about is transgender, but it's unnecessary and blatantly and intentionally demeaning.
It is just as easy use the word without the emphasis and still get the story across, and you come across as a human being not discriminating against a class of people by trying to isolate them with a word. They don't need it and you shouldn't do it.
Telling a story is one thing, and yes, if it's about transgender people, fine use the word as it is, an adjective not a noun. But then keep the emphasis to yourself, don't expressly emphasize it for the sake of the story. Transgender people are people too.
Can you please stop emphasizing the word "transgender" when you describe someone? It's clear you want to make sure the viewer knows the person(s) you're talking about is transgender, but it's unnecessary and blatantly and intentionally demeaning.
It is just as easy use the word without the emphasis and still get the story across, and you come across as a human being not discriminating against a class of people by trying to isolate them with a word. They don't need it and you shouldn't do it.
Telling a story is one thing, and yes, if it's about transgender people, fine use the word as it is, an adjective not a noun. But then keep the emphasis to yourself, don't expressly emphasize it for the sake of the story. Transgender people are people too.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
The Hard Part
The hardest part about being in the wrong body is that you can never be free of it and you can never know the experience of the right body, from childhood to today. The best you can do is find peace with your body and happiness with your life, with its one flaw of being wrong.
One Experience
Why do others think when they see a transwomen who passes seemingly well if not perfect invite them to talk to groups like their personal experience represents all transwomen and their perspective and view represents the community?
I ask this when I read a transwoman say they've been invited, obviously from their writings and Website, to talk to some groups, to students or at a meeting on transgender issues. It's a WTF moment to wonder why they accept and why those listening will have the impression all tranwomen are the same.
I know it's not true. I know many talk to express the diversity of transwomen, but it's still makes me think that with all these different transwomen giving talks, it only adds to the confusion, not the complexity, of transwomen, that that transwoman's experience must be common if not universal of all transwomen.
I also know that many who give the talks are good for all transwomen for the public to see the better side of the vast majority of transwomen different than all the transgender classes of people, that transwomen really are women with a conflicting anatomy.
Isn't it like asking a black, latino or asian woman to talk about all women of their race? Or asking a Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist woman to about all women in their religion? Or asking a old person about all the old people of their generation?
It still, however, makes me wonder what they say and to think, if I were a transwoman, I'm not her or like her, so why is she representing me. It's just her one experience in the many, all different. I only hope she conveys that idea.
I ask this when I read a transwoman say they've been invited, obviously from their writings and Website, to talk to some groups, to students or at a meeting on transgender issues. It's a WTF moment to wonder why they accept and why those listening will have the impression all tranwomen are the same.
I know it's not true. I know many talk to express the diversity of transwomen, but it's still makes me think that with all these different transwomen giving talks, it only adds to the confusion, not the complexity, of transwomen, that that transwoman's experience must be common if not universal of all transwomen.
I also know that many who give the talks are good for all transwomen for the public to see the better side of the vast majority of transwomen different than all the transgender classes of people, that transwomen really are women with a conflicting anatomy.
Isn't it like asking a black, latino or asian woman to talk about all women of their race? Or asking a Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist woman to about all women in their religion? Or asking a old person about all the old people of their generation?
It still, however, makes me wonder what they say and to think, if I were a transwoman, I'm not her or like her, so why is she representing me. It's just her one experience in the many, all different. I only hope she conveys that idea.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Interesting Choice
I was reading a blog today, and with the number of universities providing healthcare and costs for transgender healthcare, some including sex reassignment surgery, for students the person said they planned to pick their graduate school primarily to get free sex reassignment surgery.
I wonder if universities thought about this when they added this coverage. And how do they assess students who knowing apply for admission to the university for the transgender healthcare and even surgery? Or if the student doesn't but later admits they were in transition when they applied?
Don't you think it's a little disingenuous of the student? To pay tuition for the minimum period to get a $20,000+ surgery paid by the university?
I'm not against it. I'm for all health insurance companies covering in and post transition care, especially medically necessary surgeries as recommended by all the medical organizations. It's not only the fair thing to do, it's the right thing and long overdue.
I just thought this was interesting.
I wonder if universities thought about this when they added this coverage. And how do they assess students who knowing apply for admission to the university for the transgender healthcare and even surgery? Or if the student doesn't but later admits they were in transition when they applied?
Don't you think it's a little disingenuous of the student? To pay tuition for the minimum period to get a $20,000+ surgery paid by the university?
I'm not against it. I'm for all health insurance companies covering in and post transition care, especially medically necessary surgeries as recommended by all the medical organizations. It's not only the fair thing to do, it's the right thing and long overdue.
I just thought this was interesting.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
What's Not Understood
What's not understood and likely never will be understood by non-transpeople is that no one wants to be born to discover their body and their mind aren't in agreement about what sex and gender they are. No one wants to be transanything let alone transgender.
I've found the only way to get any non-transperson to understand is to ask them the question Jennifer Boylan asked Oprah when Jennifer was a guest on Oprah's show. Oprah couldn't understand why (trans)people felt the way the did to the extent they wanted surgery so the body matched the mind, so Jennifer said,
"What if you woke up (meaning she knew she was a girl) to discover you had a penis and testicles?"
Oprah's answer was the universal one, "I'd have surgery to change it."
And that's the point. It's not about being a label or some classification in some psychiatric diagnostic manual, it's about a human being, a women who has a genetic condition, being born male.
The contradiction isn't with transgender people, they already know who they are. It's with everyone else. Everone is ok with intersex people who want to correct the surgeries they had in the childhood when doctors decided their sex for them, and more often than not, wrong.
They're ok with women getting facial surgery, breast augmentation, labiaplasty, and other cosmetic surgeries without psychiatric consultation. They're ok with men getting facial surgery, even penile enlargement, and other surgeries, again without psychiatric consultation.
None of these surgeries are controlled or decided by psychiatrists. But they're not ok when someone wants to change their body from one sex to the other. It used to be called a disease, then it was a disorder and now it's a dysphoria, but all still controlled by psychiatrists.
If someone in transition wants facial feminization surgery, they need a letter from their therapist. If someone wants sex affirmation surgery (also called sex reassignement) they need letters from a therapist and a psychiatrist or physician asserting their transition and the completion of the period of their real life experience.
The truth is that's all bullshit, for the simple fact 98+% of people who transiton are happier post-transition and simply get on with life as they know they are. It's not about any mental condition, it's a simple physical (body) issue easily correctable with surgery.
And that's what not understood, and why non-transpeople want to control the discussion with labels, moralizing and hate. And yet, they don't take a moment to think of the old adage, "For there but the grace of God go I.", to realize understanding is the key.
But it's not what they want to do. Yet they want us to understand their view. Like we want to in the least, to hate ourselves as they hate us. We already hate ourself for our genes, and we know the solution is there just waiting, if only others understood and more so cared to help.
It really is that simple.
I've found the only way to get any non-transperson to understand is to ask them the question Jennifer Boylan asked Oprah when Jennifer was a guest on Oprah's show. Oprah couldn't understand why (trans)people felt the way the did to the extent they wanted surgery so the body matched the mind, so Jennifer said,
"What if you woke up (meaning she knew she was a girl) to discover you had a penis and testicles?"
Oprah's answer was the universal one, "I'd have surgery to change it."
And that's the point. It's not about being a label or some classification in some psychiatric diagnostic manual, it's about a human being, a women who has a genetic condition, being born male.
The contradiction isn't with transgender people, they already know who they are. It's with everyone else. Everone is ok with intersex people who want to correct the surgeries they had in the childhood when doctors decided their sex for them, and more often than not, wrong.
They're ok with women getting facial surgery, breast augmentation, labiaplasty, and other cosmetic surgeries without psychiatric consultation. They're ok with men getting facial surgery, even penile enlargement, and other surgeries, again without psychiatric consultation.
None of these surgeries are controlled or decided by psychiatrists. But they're not ok when someone wants to change their body from one sex to the other. It used to be called a disease, then it was a disorder and now it's a dysphoria, but all still controlled by psychiatrists.
If someone in transition wants facial feminization surgery, they need a letter from their therapist. If someone wants sex affirmation surgery (also called sex reassignement) they need letters from a therapist and a psychiatrist or physician asserting their transition and the completion of the period of their real life experience.
The truth is that's all bullshit, for the simple fact 98+% of people who transiton are happier post-transition and simply get on with life as they know they are. It's not about any mental condition, it's a simple physical (body) issue easily correctable with surgery.
And that's what not understood, and why non-transpeople want to control the discussion with labels, moralizing and hate. And yet, they don't take a moment to think of the old adage, "For there but the grace of God go I.", to realize understanding is the key.
But it's not what they want to do. Yet they want us to understand their view. Like we want to in the least, to hate ourselves as they hate us. We already hate ourself for our genes, and we know the solution is there just waiting, if only others understood and more so cared to help.
It really is that simple.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
The Word to Avoid
There is this word. A word which to me is the most divisive and destructive word about people who transition from their birth sex to the sex and gender they know themselves to be. A word which has been used by the medical community, the media and the very community which identifies themselves as being.
If, however, you are talking about yourself, meaning your sense of who you are and your transition, it is a word to avoid at any cost. This is because once you use the word, you hand the rights of the definition, interpretation and use of the word about you to everyone else, from the most complimentry to the most degrading and demeaning.
It is a word that automatically changes the perception of someone when it is used to describe you, as an adjective to your being, and more often than not it automatically distinguishes them from the group you identify with and often excludes you.
And the word? Transgender.
It is a word I hate, not as much as transsexual, but still one I hate. It doesn't do anything for the person other than appease others you have some medical conditon which needs treatment, but it leaves the rest in the mind of the other person whether you have mental disorder or a physical condition.
And while it can be a positive word, it is a double-edge sword which carries both sides, from positive reinforcement of your identity to the most negative, even hateful, reinforcement of you as abnormal. You don't get to decide how the other person uses it about you.
I won't argue the word is there and in common use, and even for a whole community, but it doesn't really begin to describe those who are in transition and distinguish them from others in the community who play at being the other sex or gender. That is where the word belongs, with a community but not with individuals.
What I also hate about it is that society has deemed the word applies to individuals for the rest of your life. It is used to describe and identify legally-recognized (female) women long after they transitioned. They transitioned to be legally women but for all the effort to integrate into that world, they're always separated by that word.
The word has no place in an individual's life. I won't argue they can choose to use for convenience to say, "I'm a transgender woman.", but once said, it never disappears from the mind of others to describe and identify them. Once said, you will always be a transgender woman to them.
And that is why I don't use it or even like it. It is a word to be avoided. It is not you so why use it?
If, however, you are talking about yourself, meaning your sense of who you are and your transition, it is a word to avoid at any cost. This is because once you use the word, you hand the rights of the definition, interpretation and use of the word about you to everyone else, from the most complimentry to the most degrading and demeaning.
It is a word that automatically changes the perception of someone when it is used to describe you, as an adjective to your being, and more often than not it automatically distinguishes them from the group you identify with and often excludes you.
And the word? Transgender.
It is a word I hate, not as much as transsexual, but still one I hate. It doesn't do anything for the person other than appease others you have some medical conditon which needs treatment, but it leaves the rest in the mind of the other person whether you have mental disorder or a physical condition.
And while it can be a positive word, it is a double-edge sword which carries both sides, from positive reinforcement of your identity to the most negative, even hateful, reinforcement of you as abnormal. You don't get to decide how the other person uses it about you.
I won't argue the word is there and in common use, and even for a whole community, but it doesn't really begin to describe those who are in transition and distinguish them from others in the community who play at being the other sex or gender. That is where the word belongs, with a community but not with individuals.
What I also hate about it is that society has deemed the word applies to individuals for the rest of your life. It is used to describe and identify legally-recognized (female) women long after they transitioned. They transitioned to be legally women but for all the effort to integrate into that world, they're always separated by that word.
The word has no place in an individual's life. I won't argue they can choose to use for convenience to say, "I'm a transgender woman.", but once said, it never disappears from the mind of others to describe and identify them. Once said, you will always be a transgender woman to them.
And that is why I don't use it or even like it. It is a word to be avoided. It is not you so why use it?
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Faceless Voices
Why do some of the outspoken transactivists have blogs, columns, etc with reams and reams of writing, mostly ranting and venting, albeit rightfully fair and honest, about trans issues and not have one photograph of them on any of their Web pages, not even those for on-line or print magazines?
If you do a thorough search for their name, all you find are avatars or drawings of their head, nothing else, no image, photograph or anything to put a real face, a real person to their voice. One even wrote she would be admonished by ciswomen if she were outed because she stealthfully lives in their circle.
She is afraid of the backlash for being stealth, but yet she stands on the highest podium on the Internet and yells her view on the issues. And while I agree with her on many issues, I find it less creditable she won't show her face or herself.
What is anyone supposed to think, publically anonymously yelling at the world without knowing who she is? Free Speech is fine, but knowing who is the voice behind the free speech is better. Stand up and be counted than hiding behind anonymity of your name.
Because that's what it is, anonymity, no more than someone who uses a fake name or just anonymous to identify themself. Not really because we know you're real, but it's worth considering if the reader can't put a face and person to the voice to truly know it's real.
If you believe in what you say, then show yourself. What do you have to lose?
If you do a thorough search for their name, all you find are avatars or drawings of their head, nothing else, no image, photograph or anything to put a real face, a real person to their voice. One even wrote she would be admonished by ciswomen if she were outed because she stealthfully lives in their circle.
She is afraid of the backlash for being stealth, but yet she stands on the highest podium on the Internet and yells her view on the issues. And while I agree with her on many issues, I find it less creditable she won't show her face or herself.
What is anyone supposed to think, publically anonymously yelling at the world without knowing who she is? Free Speech is fine, but knowing who is the voice behind the free speech is better. Stand up and be counted than hiding behind anonymity of your name.
Because that's what it is, anonymity, no more than someone who uses a fake name or just anonymous to identify themself. Not really because we know you're real, but it's worth considering if the reader can't put a face and person to the voice to truly know it's real.
If you believe in what you say, then show yourself. What do you have to lose?
What I Hate
What I hate is having waited all my life, knowing who I am, but didn't get the chance to express, and most of all, be it. The times have changed since I was young, when I was perfect to be a girl, 5'1", 95 lbs with a 24" waist.
Then puberty kicked in late in my life and within two years I was 5'11" but still only 115 lbs with a 28" waist. But I only started to shave which could have been stopped with hormones. But then it was 1968 and the Army classified me 1-A.
And the rest is my life to date. While I love that children can now starting puberty blockers and young people can start and even finish their transition to have a life in the sex and gender they are, I hate I'll never see that chance in me.
And now, the best I can do is make the best of what I am and have, which sadly faces the reality of my existence and possibilities. Such is life, and the life we each must live.
Then puberty kicked in late in my life and within two years I was 5'11" but still only 115 lbs with a 28" waist. But I only started to shave which could have been stopped with hormones. But then it was 1968 and the Army classified me 1-A.
And the rest is my life to date. While I love that children can now starting puberty blockers and young people can start and even finish their transition to have a life in the sex and gender they are, I hate I'll never see that chance in me.
And now, the best I can do is make the best of what I am and have, which sadly faces the reality of my existence and possibilities. Such is life, and the life we each must live.
So Much
I want so much to be invisible, but not as I am but as I see myself. Being invisible as a man is easy, but I want to be invisible as an ordinary woman. A woman no one takes a second look because they are attractive or even beautiful, and no one takes a second look to be repulsed by their standards of what a woman should be.
It's not asking for much, just a life, common and ordinary, but most of all invisible as I am than I'm seen.
It's not asking for much, just a life, common and ordinary, but most of all invisible as I am than I'm seen.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
I Go To Sleep
I go to sleep every night wishing when I wake up the next morning it will all be over, and then I can do what I want to do as I know I am and don't have to do what I am doing to get by. I know that wish will come true some day, but until then it's what I do when I go to sleep every night.
That's what transitions are for, to transition. It's just the time spent there that no one likes, the waiting, the planning and the hoping. Knowing some day it will all be hindsight, a memory of a time past. And you can get on with the life you have and wanted.
For now, it's just the dreams I go to sleep with every night.
That's what transitions are for, to transition. It's just the time spent there that no one likes, the waiting, the planning and the hoping. Knowing some day it will all be hindsight, a memory of a time past. And you can get on with the life you have and wanted.
For now, it's just the dreams I go to sleep with every night.
So Easy
It's so easy for women who had a successful transition in the 20's, didn't need cosmetic facial surgery, had a small frame and proportioned body where hormones worked quickly and well, didn't need much if any voice practice, and went through the whole transition and their sex reassignment surgery quickly.
I'm not saying life and events they experienced were easy, rare is the transition which doesn't have issues or problems wrapped around them and their transition. I'm saying they as a person and a woman they had it easy to go from their former self to a woman who passes effortlessly.
I'm saying it's so easy for them to criticize those who don't. Don't transition easily and need some to a significant effort including facial surgery to be at best passable most of the time. It's so easy for them to tell you that if you can't be like them then don't transition.
I'm saying it's so easy for them to look at you and then walk away afraid you'll embarrass them if someone discovers or realizes who they were and they'll be seen like you. It's easy to be hard and harsh. Many are and some aren't.
We judge ourself during and after our transition relative to two standards, one of being a woman and one of not being seen or identified as having been a transwoman or transgender. It's so easy to run away from the label faster than they run away from those who don't pass well if at all.
That's their fear. And why it's so easy being stealth and to bitch about and at those who can't be, be like them. And they never realize how much it hurts, deeply, and hated by others for just trying to be who you are but don't measure up to their standard.
It's that easy to be cruel. To turn your fear into hate and they dump it on someone else. Without remorse. So easy to do and so hard not to.
I'm not saying life and events they experienced were easy, rare is the transition which doesn't have issues or problems wrapped around them and their transition. I'm saying they as a person and a woman they had it easy to go from their former self to a woman who passes effortlessly.
I'm saying it's so easy for them to criticize those who don't. Don't transition easily and need some to a significant effort including facial surgery to be at best passable most of the time. It's so easy for them to tell you that if you can't be like them then don't transition.
I'm saying it's so easy for them to look at you and then walk away afraid you'll embarrass them if someone discovers or realizes who they were and they'll be seen like you. It's easy to be hard and harsh. Many are and some aren't.
We judge ourself during and after our transition relative to two standards, one of being a woman and one of not being seen or identified as having been a transwoman or transgender. It's so easy to run away from the label faster than they run away from those who don't pass well if at all.
That's their fear. And why it's so easy being stealth and to bitch about and at those who can't be, be like them. And they never realize how much it hurts, deeply, and hated by others for just trying to be who you are but don't measure up to their standard.
It's that easy to be cruel. To turn your fear into hate and they dump it on someone else. Without remorse. So easy to do and so hard not to.
Friday, October 19, 2012
I am
I am my own woman. Similar and different than other women, than all women. Unique in myself as each woman. And while I may not have been born to be naturally a girl and grew into being a woman, it doesn't change my reality, my sense of being who I am. I am my own woman.
Goal
The goal of women who transition is just to be an ordinary woman, like all women, lost in the shuffle of the whole of women. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a woman, like all women. And just themselves as women.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
What Some Women Are
What some women are not.
They don't care to wear, let alone be obsessed with, makeup.
They don't have shopping their highest priority in life outside of work.
They don't care how they dress when they don't have to dress for some reason.
They don't care they have to feel "pretty" just to be pretty or attract men.
They don't follow fashion styles or trends.
They don't read fashion magazines or visit fashion Websites.
They aren't giddy, giggly, or anything "girly" to be accepted or cool.
What some women are.
They like to wear whatever clothes fits, men's or women's.
They like subtle or earth colors than bright "women's" colors.
They're comfortable just being than being something someone demands of them.
They're interested in almost anything but what people think they should.
They just are themselves.
And some of these women were born male and transitioned to be and live as women.
They don't care to wear, let alone be obsessed with, makeup.
They don't have shopping their highest priority in life outside of work.
They don't care how they dress when they don't have to dress for some reason.
They don't care they have to feel "pretty" just to be pretty or attract men.
They don't follow fashion styles or trends.
They don't read fashion magazines or visit fashion Websites.
They aren't giddy, giggly, or anything "girly" to be accepted or cool.
What some women are.
They like to wear whatever clothes fits, men's or women's.
They like subtle or earth colors than bright "women's" colors.
They're comfortable just being than being something someone demands of them.
They're interested in almost anything but what people think they should.
They just are themselves.
And some of these women were born male and transitioned to be and live as women.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Where Are They
To all those who are arguing for Michelle Kosilek, an inmate serving a life sentence in Massachusetts, to have taxpayer paid Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) after a federal judge ordered it, where have you been and where are you now arguing for the right of all transwomen who are identified for SRS to be paid by the person's health insurance companies?
Huh? All I've heard is talk about this inmate's right to SRS because of their designation of Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID) which has a prescribed treatment for the patient to become physically women and then can become legally women.
All I've heard is this inmate's right under the Constitution as a prisoner. But what about all the women who have transitioned and paid for SRS out of their own pocket, or most the women who will have surgery and have health insurance but are denied coverage for GID, including SRS?
Very few transwomen get SRS paid by their employer (most) or the health insurance company (few, and only when employer requires and pays for it). No one is denying the inmate's right to SRS, we're only saying the responsibility to pay for it is the inmate's and not the State of Massachusetts.
Instead of yelling for the inmate's rights, I'd love to hear more voices about the rights of all the free women needing a medically prescribed proceedure covered by their health insurance. Where are they? Where are those voices?
Huh? All I've heard is talk about this inmate's right to SRS because of their designation of Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID) which has a prescribed treatment for the patient to become physically women and then can become legally women.
All I've heard is this inmate's right under the Constitution as a prisoner. But what about all the women who have transitioned and paid for SRS out of their own pocket, or most the women who will have surgery and have health insurance but are denied coverage for GID, including SRS?
Very few transwomen get SRS paid by their employer (most) or the health insurance company (few, and only when employer requires and pays for it). No one is denying the inmate's right to SRS, we're only saying the responsibility to pay for it is the inmate's and not the State of Massachusetts.
Instead of yelling for the inmate's rights, I'd love to hear more voices about the rights of all the free women needing a medically prescribed proceedure covered by their health insurance. Where are they? Where are those voices?
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Freedom
Consider that (trans)women, and especially those who are post-transtion, think being a woman is the greatest freedom in the world. Women (born female) may not agree because they were born to a sex and gender many experienced as oppressed or suppressed, and while that is true to a large measure, women don't realize that just being female is also a great freedom.
Women (born male) don't have a female's experience of birth, puberty and life innate to oneself. They've had to live inside a body which defied their own mind. They didn't care for the privilege of being male or a man, it isn't who they are. They were oppressed by their role and suppressed by the body.
So, when they transition and are recognized as women, they are freed from their bonds, given the greatest freedom they most wanted. Being a woman. Woman may take their being for granted and worry about the world around them and live in, but they could learn from transwomen the simple freedom of being a woman.
Women know this freedom, it often gets lost in their lives. Transwomen don't know this freedom until they achieve it. And in the end, it's just the simple and great freedom of being a woman. What's not to understand? What's not to share as women?
Women (born male) don't have a female's experience of birth, puberty and life innate to oneself. They've had to live inside a body which defied their own mind. They didn't care for the privilege of being male or a man, it isn't who they are. They were oppressed by their role and suppressed by the body.
So, when they transition and are recognized as women, they are freed from their bonds, given the greatest freedom they most wanted. Being a woman. Woman may take their being for granted and worry about the world around them and live in, but they could learn from transwomen the simple freedom of being a woman.
Women know this freedom, it often gets lost in their lives. Transwomen don't know this freedom until they achieve it. And in the end, it's just the simple and great freedom of being a woman. What's not to understand? What's not to share as women?
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Maybe Now
Do you think maybe now health insurance companies will not only remove bans on "sex transformation" proceedures and service, which often includes therapy, drugs and most of all, Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS)?
A woman as been granted authorization for SRS through her health insurance company after twice being rejected and losing internal company appeals. After threatening to sue and expose the company to conducting medical diagnoses, ie. second guessing doctors, and not heeding recommendations by the AMA and two APA's.
The woman, story here, had only her surgery to go to become physically and legally female after finishing all medical requirements and living for years as a woman. While this only involved a case with one insurance company and not a court ruling, it continues to support the argument the insurance companies are violating good faith medical practice with the ban.
Even the Office of Personnel Management which oversees the Federal Health Insurance Benefit Progam has only recommended the health insurance companies in the program remove their ban on this coverage for a known and accepted medical condition.
That was two years ago, and while there are only a few active or retired employees who would use the coverage, it's clear it's critical for their well-being and life, and like any other medical condition, should be covered as part of the standard policy coverage.
For now, though, it's one more health insurance company which has removed the ban. Somehow, I think it would have been better if they had taken this case to court to get a new ruling everyone can use, not just this one woman this time, which still give other companies an out.
We can hope better now?
A woman as been granted authorization for SRS through her health insurance company after twice being rejected and losing internal company appeals. After threatening to sue and expose the company to conducting medical diagnoses, ie. second guessing doctors, and not heeding recommendations by the AMA and two APA's.
The woman, story here, had only her surgery to go to become physically and legally female after finishing all medical requirements and living for years as a woman. While this only involved a case with one insurance company and not a court ruling, it continues to support the argument the insurance companies are violating good faith medical practice with the ban.
Even the Office of Personnel Management which oversees the Federal Health Insurance Benefit Progam has only recommended the health insurance companies in the program remove their ban on this coverage for a known and accepted medical condition.
That was two years ago, and while there are only a few active or retired employees who would use the coverage, it's clear it's critical for their well-being and life, and like any other medical condition, should be covered as part of the standard policy coverage.
For now, though, it's one more health insurance company which has removed the ban. Somehow, I think it would have been better if they had taken this case to court to get a new ruling everyone can use, not just this one woman this time, which still give other companies an out.
We can hope better now?
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Yes & No
Update (10/3/12).-- This issue doesn't seem to be going away, at least until the case goes through the court system, but I think it will linger far longer and equally divisive in the transcommunity. Some support the ruling because it's good medical practice, but they overlook the fact the person is serving a life sentence.
And there are those, like me, who look at the larger issue and picture. I won't argue about the medical decision, it's fair and proper, but for all, which it does, but the difference here is that the State of Massachusetts is paying the bill, as noted below, and all the rest of us have to write our own checks for the surgery.
And that's the real issue, not the surgery or the mandate, but who's paying the bill. When a woman was denied in California for the same reason this inmate was approved, who's right? But in the end, I still think the State of Massachusetts has the right to say no to non-life threatening surgery, and this surgery is it.
In addition, to those who think the inmate will do better in the women's prison, do we really think this inmate will be treated any differently in a women's prison when they know he had surgery?
------------
Update (9/28/12).-- The State of Massachusetts has decided to appeal the initial ruling against the DOC and order SRS for the inmate. While you can argue both or either side, this is a good idea, to take the case as far as it will go, if only to determine if the state is required to provide non-life threatening but medically "necessary" proceedure.
Remember this is more than the surgery alone, it will include the travel, lodging, post-op care facility, the extraneous medical costs, and above all, the security while he is away from prison. Remember he's serving a life sentence so he will require 24-hour security so he doesn't escape.
And all this presumes the DOC finds a surgeon willing to provide the surgery. In all, the state could easily be looking at upwards of $100K for the surgery. You can argue all his rights in the world, you can equally argue the state's right to say no.
And let's not forget an inmate in California was denied surgery and she will be released in the future to have a real life outside prison. The State said no to her and the federal court agreed with them. No surgery. So why should an inmate in Massachusetts be treated differently?
And my view expressed here hasn't changed.
------------
Original Post (9/5/12).-- An article today, see Huffington Post, noted a federal judge in Massachusetts ordered the Department of Corrections (DOC) to provide sex reassignment surgery (SRS) for an inmate currently housed in the men's prision with a life sentence without the possibility of parole and undergoing transition from male to female under medical supervision.
The inmate sued the DOC in 2000 to provide the surgery as the inmate was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder (GID), described in the American Psychiatry Assocation DSM-IV years before during a previous incarceration, and after years of litigation, the court issued the ruling.
Well, this has split the transcommunity. Some in the transcommunity feels people with GID should have the full complement of treatment to transition to who they are, and paid by whatever means necessary.
Usually it's the individual and sometimes the employers and less often the health insurance companies. The question in this case is that should SRS, which can cost over $30,000 in the US for travel, surgery, medical care and lodging, be fully paid by taxpayers, which is what the judge ordered for the inmate.
And that's the conumdrum and the split in the community, those arguing it shouldn't be free to inmates, or paid for those on Medicare (not plan B) or Medicaid (some states have provided it but none on record do now), and those arguing it's a condition to be treated and care is care, however it's paid, taxpayers, insurance or individual.
I'm for getting insurance companies to add GID coverage to their policies as the vast majority don't and only then when the company specifically wants and pays for it. It's the one mental condition deliberatly indentified and not fully covered under health insurance.
That's not a business decision by them but a moral one, which the courts should rule for the rights of the patient. Even President Obama has not ordered it covered under the Federal Employees Health Benefit Plan (FEHB) which is paid by the government and employee/retiree. And the VA does not provide SRS for transitioning active or retired service personnel.
It's not that expensive and not that common, far less than some of the more serious and even rare diseases, illnesses and conditions now covered. And it's a one time deal where the patient is cured so it won't come back to bite them. It's, as they would see, cheap insurance.
But I don't agree the taxpayers to pick up the tab for the whole treatment. Otherwise, it's a free ride for the individual to be diagnosed and get their transition paid by the rest of us. Let's understand this person killed another person and will never leave prison.
This person will be a victim of violence in either a men's or women's prison. This person had the chance to transition outside of prison in between sentences and chose not to transition but commit crimes and be reincarcerated. This person deserves care for life-threatening reasons but SRS is not it, not life-threatening.
The arguments for this person to have SRS focuses on SRS and overlooks this person's character and status as a "lifer" who'll never see the outside of a prison. They don't need SRS to be an inmate, especially at taxpayers expense.
And there are those, like me, who look at the larger issue and picture. I won't argue about the medical decision, it's fair and proper, but for all, which it does, but the difference here is that the State of Massachusetts is paying the bill, as noted below, and all the rest of us have to write our own checks for the surgery.
And that's the real issue, not the surgery or the mandate, but who's paying the bill. When a woman was denied in California for the same reason this inmate was approved, who's right? But in the end, I still think the State of Massachusetts has the right to say no to non-life threatening surgery, and this surgery is it.
In addition, to those who think the inmate will do better in the women's prison, do we really think this inmate will be treated any differently in a women's prison when they know he had surgery?
Update (9/28/12).-- The State of Massachusetts has decided to appeal the initial ruling against the DOC and order SRS for the inmate. While you can argue both or either side, this is a good idea, to take the case as far as it will go, if only to determine if the state is required to provide non-life threatening but medically "necessary" proceedure.
Remember this is more than the surgery alone, it will include the travel, lodging, post-op care facility, the extraneous medical costs, and above all, the security while he is away from prison. Remember he's serving a life sentence so he will require 24-hour security so he doesn't escape.
And all this presumes the DOC finds a surgeon willing to provide the surgery. In all, the state could easily be looking at upwards of $100K for the surgery. You can argue all his rights in the world, you can equally argue the state's right to say no.
And let's not forget an inmate in California was denied surgery and she will be released in the future to have a real life outside prison. The State said no to her and the federal court agreed with them. No surgery. So why should an inmate in Massachusetts be treated differently?
And my view expressed here hasn't changed.
The inmate sued the DOC in 2000 to provide the surgery as the inmate was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder (GID), described in the American Psychiatry Assocation DSM-IV years before during a previous incarceration, and after years of litigation, the court issued the ruling.
Well, this has split the transcommunity. Some in the transcommunity feels people with GID should have the full complement of treatment to transition to who they are, and paid by whatever means necessary.
Usually it's the individual and sometimes the employers and less often the health insurance companies. The question in this case is that should SRS, which can cost over $30,000 in the US for travel, surgery, medical care and lodging, be fully paid by taxpayers, which is what the judge ordered for the inmate.
And that's the conumdrum and the split in the community, those arguing it shouldn't be free to inmates, or paid for those on Medicare (not plan B) or Medicaid (some states have provided it but none on record do now), and those arguing it's a condition to be treated and care is care, however it's paid, taxpayers, insurance or individual.
I'm for getting insurance companies to add GID coverage to their policies as the vast majority don't and only then when the company specifically wants and pays for it. It's the one mental condition deliberatly indentified and not fully covered under health insurance.
That's not a business decision by them but a moral one, which the courts should rule for the rights of the patient. Even President Obama has not ordered it covered under the Federal Employees Health Benefit Plan (FEHB) which is paid by the government and employee/retiree. And the VA does not provide SRS for transitioning active or retired service personnel.
It's not that expensive and not that common, far less than some of the more serious and even rare diseases, illnesses and conditions now covered. And it's a one time deal where the patient is cured so it won't come back to bite them. It's, as they would see, cheap insurance.
But I don't agree the taxpayers to pick up the tab for the whole treatment. Otherwise, it's a free ride for the individual to be diagnosed and get their transition paid by the rest of us. Let's understand this person killed another person and will never leave prison.
This person will be a victim of violence in either a men's or women's prison. This person had the chance to transition outside of prison in between sentences and chose not to transition but commit crimes and be reincarcerated. This person deserves care for life-threatening reasons but SRS is not it, not life-threatening.
The arguments for this person to have SRS focuses on SRS and overlooks this person's character and status as a "lifer" who'll never see the outside of a prison. They don't need SRS to be an inmate, especially at taxpayers expense.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
First Protect Yourself
There's been a lot of discussion lately in the media about whether a transitioning woman should disclose to anyone on their first date who, and really what, she is, where many people, including some very out transpeople, have not just recommended but advocated, disclosure.
Personally, to me, it's all about first protect yourself, which means, don't disclose your status as a transwomen (in-transition) or your history (post-transition) until there is good reason, you know the other person more, and you're in a safe place (not their place where you're trapped).
I don't agree with Buck Angel and the lot of them who say being out from the start is good, it's not. It's dangerous to you, and can be life-threatening if other people, not just those you're with, but those who hear, know or discover, decide they don't like you and take their anger, hate and rage out on you.
This wasn't an argument years ago when the leading post-transition women were advocate privacy until it a necessity to disclose, like intimate relationships, and you know, which is really hope, your partner is understanding. But history and the data have shown, that's rarely the case.
There are many good reasons for being stealth, and despite the anger of some in the transcommunity about being stealth, especially post-transition, it's the best advice and best bet. And the worst advice is listening to the likes of folks like Buck Angel, etal. on this subject.
Always think about your personal safety and security first. And screw the rest of them if they don't get it or don't like you for your decision. They don't live your life, you do, and that's your priority.
Personally, to me, it's all about first protect yourself, which means, don't disclose your status as a transwomen (in-transition) or your history (post-transition) until there is good reason, you know the other person more, and you're in a safe place (not their place where you're trapped).
I don't agree with Buck Angel and the lot of them who say being out from the start is good, it's not. It's dangerous to you, and can be life-threatening if other people, not just those you're with, but those who hear, know or discover, decide they don't like you and take their anger, hate and rage out on you.
This wasn't an argument years ago when the leading post-transition women were advocate privacy until it a necessity to disclose, like intimate relationships, and you know, which is really hope, your partner is understanding. But history and the data have shown, that's rarely the case.
There are many good reasons for being stealth, and despite the anger of some in the transcommunity about being stealth, especially post-transition, it's the best advice and best bet. And the worst advice is listening to the likes of folks like Buck Angel, etal. on this subject.
Always think about your personal safety and security first. And screw the rest of them if they don't get it or don't like you for your decision. They don't live your life, you do, and that's your priority.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Observation
A really good article with excellent following comments about gender identity issues and the medical community can be read here. It's excellent with one small correction noted in the comments about the statistics of suicide among young transpeople, the author calls "mortality rates."
That said, treatment for gender identity has been available for several decades now, but mostly out of reach all who want to transition with sex reassignment surgery, which many folks like me use sex affirmation surgery, except for the few who afford it, often mortaging their home, their future or other debts, or have employer insurance.
This is because while employers are covering the treatment for gender identity, which runs $25-30,000 minimum depending on the extent of physican care and oversight for hormone replacement therapy and surgery, noting feminine facial cosmetic surgery and breast augmentation surgery aren't covered by any insurance, health insurance companies aren't offering coverage in their plans.
Almost all health insurance companies do not cover treatment for an established medical condition, defined and described in the DSM-IVTR and upcoming DSM-V with the full description of treatment. This is one of the very few conditions not covered by health insurance except when state and local governments or companies pay for it or add it for their employees.
Right now even the Federal Employees Health Benefit Plan (FEHB) does not cover and specifically denies coverages with "Sex transformation services not covered." The Office of Personnel Management has yet to act on a Presidential directive to order coverage included in the next round of changes to plans for active or retired employees.
They didn't even recommend the change let alone mandate the change for 2012 and they haven't said if they'll do it for 2013. There aren't that many employees and retirees in transition to make this a big deal, but to them it's significant when each are looking at $20-25,000 out of pocket expense for the final surgery on top of any additional cosmetic surgeries.
It only makes me wonder if the medical community really cares about transpeople. I know some do as they provide care for transpeople, but overall, it smells of morality at work in people's minds than their oat to "First, do no harm."
If they followed it they would see the rate of suicide drop among transpeople. They would see the health and happiness of transpeople improve. They would change lives for the better than impose a restriction based on nothing but personal morality than medical science and above all practicing good medicine.
We can hope but few transpeople are holding their breath anymore.
That said, treatment for gender identity has been available for several decades now, but mostly out of reach all who want to transition with sex reassignment surgery, which many folks like me use sex affirmation surgery, except for the few who afford it, often mortaging their home, their future or other debts, or have employer insurance.
This is because while employers are covering the treatment for gender identity, which runs $25-30,000 minimum depending on the extent of physican care and oversight for hormone replacement therapy and surgery, noting feminine facial cosmetic surgery and breast augmentation surgery aren't covered by any insurance, health insurance companies aren't offering coverage in their plans.
Almost all health insurance companies do not cover treatment for an established medical condition, defined and described in the DSM-IVTR and upcoming DSM-V with the full description of treatment. This is one of the very few conditions not covered by health insurance except when state and local governments or companies pay for it or add it for their employees.
Right now even the Federal Employees Health Benefit Plan (FEHB) does not cover and specifically denies coverages with "Sex transformation services not covered." The Office of Personnel Management has yet to act on a Presidential directive to order coverage included in the next round of changes to plans for active or retired employees.
They didn't even recommend the change let alone mandate the change for 2012 and they haven't said if they'll do it for 2013. There aren't that many employees and retirees in transition to make this a big deal, but to them it's significant when each are looking at $20-25,000 out of pocket expense for the final surgery on top of any additional cosmetic surgeries.
It only makes me wonder if the medical community really cares about transpeople. I know some do as they provide care for transpeople, but overall, it smells of morality at work in people's minds than their oat to "First, do no harm."
If they followed it they would see the rate of suicide drop among transpeople. They would see the health and happiness of transpeople improve. They would change lives for the better than impose a restriction based on nothing but personal morality than medical science and above all practicing good medicine.
We can hope but few transpeople are holding their breath anymore.
Why
Why is that the given a person's gender identity issue, being a self-diagnosing condition that a medical professional can't refute or confirm, that the medical professionals are the one who get to decide if you are who and what you are and what criteria you have to meet to get approved for treatment?
Why do those same medical professionals, who never studied let alone proved, gender identity is an abnormal mental condition except just to say it is, get to decide your fate, meaning get to decide if you're telling the truth, get do decide if you get hormones and get to decide if you get surgery?
Why do they when they can't confirm or refute you? They can only issue an opinion from what you say and how you present yourself which they disguise as professional judgement based on some standards which are more a social morality criteria than anything?
Why do they get to decide whether you are a woman or not? Why you have a female brain? Why do they, in the absence of any physical or other test, when can't really determine anything except what you say?
Why do they get to deny you the one surgery which is the treatment for the condition and require you to perform a months-long test which makes you vulnerable to embarrassment, humiliation, verbal and physical abuse, assault and even being raped or killed?
Why do they put your life at risk when a surgery would prevent it? Why do they call it an acceptance test when you already know the results? Who's acceptance? And is it more about just surviving it than anything else?
Why do they, when you survive, do they get to then say, "Ok, you're a woman, here's your letter for surgery."? Couldn't they just have done it at the beginning and come up with the same answer?
Why do they get to be the gatekeeper to your happiness and future? Who gave them the power they haven't earned or proven it's necessary?
Why?
What happened to "First, do no harm?' view of treating people, to put them through a months-long ordeal for nothing?
When 90+% of post-transition women are the same through their transition, meaning they know themselves to be women and want to live the rest of their life as a woman, why is all the months-long "treatment" necessary outside of helping them understand the realities of it?
Is that what it should be, helping not hurting? So why, when do transitioning women at the end of their transition feel the whole medical community hurt them far more than helped them?
I won't argue some are helped by therapy, but the vast majority go through therapy with two goals, get the drugs and get the letter for surgery, and then get on with their life. They knew from the first visit they wanted to transition and only spent the time convincing the therapist.
Everyone knows it's the game that's played, so why do we continue the sham?
Why do those same medical professionals, who never studied let alone proved, gender identity is an abnormal mental condition except just to say it is, get to decide your fate, meaning get to decide if you're telling the truth, get do decide if you get hormones and get to decide if you get surgery?
Why do they when they can't confirm or refute you? They can only issue an opinion from what you say and how you present yourself which they disguise as professional judgement based on some standards which are more a social morality criteria than anything?
Why do they get to decide whether you are a woman or not? Why you have a female brain? Why do they, in the absence of any physical or other test, when can't really determine anything except what you say?
Why do they get to deny you the one surgery which is the treatment for the condition and require you to perform a months-long test which makes you vulnerable to embarrassment, humiliation, verbal and physical abuse, assault and even being raped or killed?
Why do they put your life at risk when a surgery would prevent it? Why do they call it an acceptance test when you already know the results? Who's acceptance? And is it more about just surviving it than anything else?
Why do they, when you survive, do they get to then say, "Ok, you're a woman, here's your letter for surgery."? Couldn't they just have done it at the beginning and come up with the same answer?
Why do they get to be the gatekeeper to your happiness and future? Who gave them the power they haven't earned or proven it's necessary?
Why?
What happened to "First, do no harm?' view of treating people, to put them through a months-long ordeal for nothing?
When 90+% of post-transition women are the same through their transition, meaning they know themselves to be women and want to live the rest of their life as a woman, why is all the months-long "treatment" necessary outside of helping them understand the realities of it?
Is that what it should be, helping not hurting? So why, when do transitioning women at the end of their transition feel the whole medical community hurt them far more than helped them?
I won't argue some are helped by therapy, but the vast majority go through therapy with two goals, get the drugs and get the letter for surgery, and then get on with their life. They knew from the first visit they wanted to transition and only spent the time convincing the therapist.
Everyone knows it's the game that's played, so why do we continue the sham?
Inside & Outside
To explain it simply, like everyone else, we all see who we are on the inside and want to show it on the outside, while everyone else sees what's on the outside and projects that to the inside. The only difference is that while everyone else's inside and outside general match, transgender people have a mismatch between the two.
The inside is the same as society sets for sex and gender standard, so everyone else thinks our outside is our inside when it's the opposite. Only the few who can pass as expected by society are lucky not to be faced with the embarrassment and humilitation, and often the hate, anger and violence, and always the discrimination.
The lucky ones don't like to be seen as and with the other transpeople, so they become silent, living stealth as it's called, and then usually turn and walk away, not a word said to help. They don't want their history to be public, their life to be jeopardized, and their person to be a target. So they don't do anything.
And the unlucky ones face it everyday they walk out the front door. Their inside is who they are, not their obvious outside others see and society condemns. And all the protections in the world won't help them against people who don't understand, don't accept and don't feel a reason not to act against them.
All because of their outside which isn't who they really are, it's the inside, no different than anyone else, just as normal as everyone else, and just wanting to get through life like eveyone else. It's not rocket science to know and understand, it's human nature.
The inside is the same as society sets for sex and gender standard, so everyone else thinks our outside is our inside when it's the opposite. Only the few who can pass as expected by society are lucky not to be faced with the embarrassment and humilitation, and often the hate, anger and violence, and always the discrimination.
The lucky ones don't like to be seen as and with the other transpeople, so they become silent, living stealth as it's called, and then usually turn and walk away, not a word said to help. They don't want their history to be public, their life to be jeopardized, and their person to be a target. So they don't do anything.
And the unlucky ones face it everyday they walk out the front door. Their inside is who they are, not their obvious outside others see and society condemns. And all the protections in the world won't help them against people who don't understand, don't accept and don't feel a reason not to act against them.
All because of their outside which isn't who they really are, it's the inside, no different than anyone else, just as normal as everyone else, and just wanting to get through life like eveyone else. It's not rocket science to know and understand, it's human nature.
Two Parts
It's about being yourself and being seen as yourself. Not being what is expected of you or as society thinks you should be by some standard, like your sex. Not being seen as yourself, but seen as someone abnormal, someone less than everyone else, someone worthy, in their eyes, of discrimination, embarrassment, humiliation and even violence.
That's what transwomen know when they walk out their front door. Every day. The world as they know it. And for everyone else, maybe they should remember John Bradford's words, "There but for the grace of God go I."
We are born to who we are, our sex and gender. Given and not always in agreement, and the best we can do is make the best of our life as much as we can, being ourself and being seen as ourself.
Is that so hard to understand and accept? For wouldn't we want as much if we were born that way?
That's what transwomen know when they walk out their front door. Every day. The world as they know it. And for everyone else, maybe they should remember John Bradford's words, "There but for the grace of God go I."
We are born to who we are, our sex and gender. Given and not always in agreement, and the best we can do is make the best of our life as much as we can, being ourself and being seen as ourself.
Is that so hard to understand and accept? For wouldn't we want as much if we were born that way?
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Suggestion
A suggestion to all the tranwomen with blogs anywhere. Please do not give out medical advice or even make suggestions other than reminding anyone wanting to transition or starting a transition or to anyone just curious about a transition to seek experienced medical professionals.
I not against transwomen giving suggestions to find and get a physician, to visit a local clinic for transgender people, or to suggest they consult with a professional therapist for advice and help. But please don't discuss Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), even your own.
I say this because HRT drugs are powerful drugs which permanently change the body, especially testosterone for female-to-male transpeople. Female HRT drugs constitute a variety of drugs with a range of types and dosage with varying effects for each person.
This is why it can be and sometimes is dangerous dispensing pseudo-medical advice on a blog. You get people to follow your experience or advice without consulting physicians, buying them over the Internet or elsewhere, which can get people in trouble or worse, physically or mentally hurt.
HRT drugs should only be dispensed under the care of an experienced physician or endrochronologist to follow the patient over the duration of their transition. It requires routine blood tests and personal evalutations.
It also requires a letter of recomendation from a therapist to the physician or endrochronologist confirming your condition under the DSM-IVTR standards with gender related issues and a clear decision to transition.
I read quite a few young transwomen who seem to freely and openly discuss their HRT, and while it's good to document and public show the effects over time if you want, it's not good to be specific about your HRT drugs and dosages.
This is because with HRT, it really is the old adage, "Your Mileage May Vary", as everyone reacts different to HRT, including some who can't tolerate it or have adverse effects or reactions to it. These will magnify with more types of HRT drugs and increasing dosages.
I think it's cool that young transwomen talk about their transitions and even mention HRT as part of the overall program to monitor a transition. Transitions should not be taken lightly and there are Standards of Care (SOC) defined by WPATH from the DSM-IVTR standards for diagnoses.
And that's what should be the advice, always get good, experienced medical help for a transition. It's good medical practice, but most of all, it's best for people who wants to or are starting a transition. It's your life and health at stake, mistakes can be dangerous and permanent.
That said, I'm over-reacting a bit, but it's a concern when I read the responses people ask these transwomen about transitions and read advice which, while good, isn't the best, when the best is to advise anyone to seek medical professionals.
Anyway, just a thought and a personal suggestion, one from personal knowledge and experience.
I not against transwomen giving suggestions to find and get a physician, to visit a local clinic for transgender people, or to suggest they consult with a professional therapist for advice and help. But please don't discuss Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), even your own.
I say this because HRT drugs are powerful drugs which permanently change the body, especially testosterone for female-to-male transpeople. Female HRT drugs constitute a variety of drugs with a range of types and dosage with varying effects for each person.
This is why it can be and sometimes is dangerous dispensing pseudo-medical advice on a blog. You get people to follow your experience or advice without consulting physicians, buying them over the Internet or elsewhere, which can get people in trouble or worse, physically or mentally hurt.
HRT drugs should only be dispensed under the care of an experienced physician or endrochronologist to follow the patient over the duration of their transition. It requires routine blood tests and personal evalutations.
It also requires a letter of recomendation from a therapist to the physician or endrochronologist confirming your condition under the DSM-IVTR standards with gender related issues and a clear decision to transition.
I read quite a few young transwomen who seem to freely and openly discuss their HRT, and while it's good to document and public show the effects over time if you want, it's not good to be specific about your HRT drugs and dosages.
This is because with HRT, it really is the old adage, "Your Mileage May Vary", as everyone reacts different to HRT, including some who can't tolerate it or have adverse effects or reactions to it. These will magnify with more types of HRT drugs and increasing dosages.
I think it's cool that young transwomen talk about their transitions and even mention HRT as part of the overall program to monitor a transition. Transitions should not be taken lightly and there are Standards of Care (SOC) defined by WPATH from the DSM-IVTR standards for diagnoses.
And that's what should be the advice, always get good, experienced medical help for a transition. It's good medical practice, but most of all, it's best for people who wants to or are starting a transition. It's your life and health at stake, mistakes can be dangerous and permanent.
That said, I'm over-reacting a bit, but it's a concern when I read the responses people ask these transwomen about transitions and read advice which, while good, isn't the best, when the best is to advise anyone to seek medical professionals.
Anyway, just a thought and a personal suggestion, one from personal knowledge and experience.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Why
Why do we consider female-to-male transpeople (ftm or transmen) who complete their transition become "real" men, despite keeping their vagina, and heroes for a cause, representing transpeople, but consider male-to-female transpeople who complete their transtion less of a woman, even though they have a vagina?
I ask this because some of the most prominent transpeople are transmen who the public loves because they transitioned from being girls or women to men and expressed in the most sexist tone and tenor. Transmen such as Buck Angel (porn star), Loren Cameron (self-promoting "transgender" photographer), Ben Barres (Standford professor), etal.
They're treated better than transwomen. Even Ben Barres noted the sexism which arose when Joan Roughgarden, evolutionary biologist, transitioned and lost her credibility with the scientific community and her standing in the department. She was ostracized and Ben Barres gained in respect as a man.
And we expect these and other transmen will know what it's like to be a tranwomen? They can speak about the internal frustration in the childhood and work with their transition, but they rarely speak about society's view that they got better and transwomen got worse.
Yeah, really. A transwomen loses credibility and respect and transmen gain credibility and respect. Yet it's the same thing, transition from one gender to another. Almost all transmen pass after a short transition, testosterone is a powerful hormone to lower the voice, grow facial and body hair, and grow muscles.
Only some transwomen pass, and mostly either being young and hormones work better on their body and faces to become at least androgynous but mostly female, or from considerable cosmetic surgery, usually facial feminiation surgery, but most range from mostly passable to not passable as the face, body and voice are giveaways.
You can't undo the effects of male genes once past your late 20's so transitioning after that has issues the transwomen has to face. Some do it successfully because they have the money for the surgeries. Most don't have the money and live with the reality.
And this is the crux of the issue, their visibility, but there is another factor, society's perception. Transmen don't get put in to degrading boxes of identity. They're treated as men and that's the end of it. Transwomen are treated not just differently but mistakenly too.
Transwomen are seen and treated as drag queens, crossdressers, transvestites, sex or porn workers - some are for the money for their transition, and the always "men in dresses" class. Rarely are they seen and treated as who they are, just regular and normal people.
When was the last time you read a newsstory about the rape and/or murder of a transman? But transwomen are frequently raped and often beaten or murdered. In many states that's a lesser crime than the rape of a woman.
Even the public and celebrity ones never gain status as "real" women, always treated with the adjective "transgender" to ensure their history and their status isn't like other women. And the rest have to keep their past hidden from all but the few people in their life, and of course their employers.
And that's the issue, transmen lose their identity as transgender once they transition, and only have to reveal it to loved ones. Transwomen never lose their identity, it follows them throughout the rest of the life, in private and more so in public.
Sexism and transphobia is alive and well in the public view of transwomen, but not transmen. Why, beside the obvious reasons, do we accept it and tolerate it? And why should we accept and tolerate transmen as representing transwomen?
I ask this because some of the most prominent transpeople are transmen who the public loves because they transitioned from being girls or women to men and expressed in the most sexist tone and tenor. Transmen such as Buck Angel (porn star), Loren Cameron (self-promoting "transgender" photographer), Ben Barres (Standford professor), etal.
They're treated better than transwomen. Even Ben Barres noted the sexism which arose when Joan Roughgarden, evolutionary biologist, transitioned and lost her credibility with the scientific community and her standing in the department. She was ostracized and Ben Barres gained in respect as a man.
And we expect these and other transmen will know what it's like to be a tranwomen? They can speak about the internal frustration in the childhood and work with their transition, but they rarely speak about society's view that they got better and transwomen got worse.
Yeah, really. A transwomen loses credibility and respect and transmen gain credibility and respect. Yet it's the same thing, transition from one gender to another. Almost all transmen pass after a short transition, testosterone is a powerful hormone to lower the voice, grow facial and body hair, and grow muscles.
Only some transwomen pass, and mostly either being young and hormones work better on their body and faces to become at least androgynous but mostly female, or from considerable cosmetic surgery, usually facial feminiation surgery, but most range from mostly passable to not passable as the face, body and voice are giveaways.
You can't undo the effects of male genes once past your late 20's so transitioning after that has issues the transwomen has to face. Some do it successfully because they have the money for the surgeries. Most don't have the money and live with the reality.
And this is the crux of the issue, their visibility, but there is another factor, society's perception. Transmen don't get put in to degrading boxes of identity. They're treated as men and that's the end of it. Transwomen are treated not just differently but mistakenly too.
Transwomen are seen and treated as drag queens, crossdressers, transvestites, sex or porn workers - some are for the money for their transition, and the always "men in dresses" class. Rarely are they seen and treated as who they are, just regular and normal people.
When was the last time you read a newsstory about the rape and/or murder of a transman? But transwomen are frequently raped and often beaten or murdered. In many states that's a lesser crime than the rape of a woman.
Even the public and celebrity ones never gain status as "real" women, always treated with the adjective "transgender" to ensure their history and their status isn't like other women. And the rest have to keep their past hidden from all but the few people in their life, and of course their employers.
And that's the issue, transmen lose their identity as transgender once they transition, and only have to reveal it to loved ones. Transwomen never lose their identity, it follows them throughout the rest of the life, in private and more so in public.
Sexism and transphobia is alive and well in the public view of transwomen, but not transmen. Why, beside the obvious reasons, do we accept it and tolerate it? And why should we accept and tolerate transmen as representing transwomen?
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
They Don't Get it
The simple truth is that gay people, meaning gay men, just don't get transpeople. They consider drag queens, female impersonators and crossdressers transgender when the almost all are just straight or gay people who like to play dressup, either for show, for fun or for personal pleasure.
They hate transwomen because they want to give up the very thing gay men value the most, the genitals, in short, their dick and balls (yes pun intended). They hate that transwomen just want to be women in every day life, with families, friends, jobs, and everything female. To forget they were ever male, let alone men.
And gays take every opportunity to ridicule or humiliate transwomen. Case in point is the show "TrAnnie" by cabaret performer Trevor Ashley and the Sydney Opera House. They apologize but still put on the show which treats transgender people as caricatures and jokes?
What don't they understand? They rail when people joke or make fun of gay men as effiminate despite the reality many are. They rail when people try to mock or put gays into subhuman catatogies of people, like pedophiles.
And then they don't blink an eye when they do the same to transgender people, citing it's just a joke, just a show, just a comment, just this or that. Just. That's their word, just.
When Joe Salmonese promised transgender people would be included in ENDA in Congress, he lied. When Representative Barney Frank promised transgender people would be in the final ENDA bill, he lied stating too much opposition to their inclusion.
When gay people talk about LGBT rights the "T" is for appearances than substance as they always drop transgender from the discussion when things get serious. It's their history and their practice, something they've never changed.
As gay people have always said, "Just wait, your turn will come honey.", and often adding the demeaning, even degrading, word at the end to downplay transpeople as less than equal to them, less than equal to be in the same issue or fight for rights.
We see this time and again with their antics. Treat transgender people as trash, jokes, whatever because you can always apologize later, "They'll undersand since they're in the back of the LGBT bus anyway.", or worse, "They should be happy their on the our bus."
Like we're what? And gays get angry when transpeople stand up and speak. Stand up and tell the truth. Stand up and demand fair and equitable treatment. Stand up for themselves as individuals and a group. And stand up to walk out and achieve more by themselves than with the LGBT community.
It has been President Obama who has included transgender people in his administration's policies and regulations because of transgender people, groups and organizations working for all transgender people, and not for gay or lesbian people. Just themselves.
Yeah, that word, just. Gays use it to apologize. Transgender people use it to succeed. Big difference, but I doubt gays understand that, because gays are too busy being gay to understand. Transgender people are being human beings and real people.
They hate transwomen because they want to give up the very thing gay men value the most, the genitals, in short, their dick and balls (yes pun intended). They hate that transwomen just want to be women in every day life, with families, friends, jobs, and everything female. To forget they were ever male, let alone men.
And gays take every opportunity to ridicule or humiliate transwomen. Case in point is the show "TrAnnie" by cabaret performer Trevor Ashley and the Sydney Opera House. They apologize but still put on the show which treats transgender people as caricatures and jokes?
What don't they understand? They rail when people joke or make fun of gay men as effiminate despite the reality many are. They rail when people try to mock or put gays into subhuman catatogies of people, like pedophiles.
And then they don't blink an eye when they do the same to transgender people, citing it's just a joke, just a show, just a comment, just this or that. Just. That's their word, just.
When Joe Salmonese promised transgender people would be included in ENDA in Congress, he lied. When Representative Barney Frank promised transgender people would be in the final ENDA bill, he lied stating too much opposition to their inclusion.
When gay people talk about LGBT rights the "T" is for appearances than substance as they always drop transgender from the discussion when things get serious. It's their history and their practice, something they've never changed.
As gay people have always said, "Just wait, your turn will come honey.", and often adding the demeaning, even degrading, word at the end to downplay transpeople as less than equal to them, less than equal to be in the same issue or fight for rights.
We see this time and again with their antics. Treat transgender people as trash, jokes, whatever because you can always apologize later, "They'll undersand since they're in the back of the LGBT bus anyway.", or worse, "They should be happy their on the our bus."
Like we're what? And gays get angry when transpeople stand up and speak. Stand up and tell the truth. Stand up and demand fair and equitable treatment. Stand up for themselves as individuals and a group. And stand up to walk out and achieve more by themselves than with the LGBT community.
It has been President Obama who has included transgender people in his administration's policies and regulations because of transgender people, groups and organizations working for all transgender people, and not for gay or lesbian people. Just themselves.
Yeah, that word, just. Gays use it to apologize. Transgender people use it to succeed. Big difference, but I doubt gays understand that, because gays are too busy being gay to understand. Transgender people are being human beings and real people.
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